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thank you very much. thanks to you i think that life isn't what it seems like. i learnt that everyone has two faces, friends? i guess i wont have one. love? all my love was a lie. yes a lie. i starved weeks to save and to buy what you wanted, that was a lie. i abandon everyone for you, that's a lie two. through this one year we've been together it was a lie. ok so relationship's over, choke me? why dont you just choke me to death im a monster who is only out there to destroy love. i dont feel like living. im wondering, why do people try so hard to change the world? they'll all die some day so why borther to try. in my life i learnt that whatever happens i want to be happy. YOU PULLED EVERYTHING DOWN! you showed me that in this world of happiness i lived in was and is a lie. everyone have two faces. my friends, my close and closest friend, they may be wearing a mask too. i never once doubted in any of my friends, but thanks to you, i did. i just want to be happy, i just want everyone to be ok with me, but some people out there are just too curel. they pretend to be nice to me, then i found out it was a lie. behind my back they say things about me. i never want to know all these, even if anyone asked me if i want to know what they are saying about me, i'll just say no. because i want to live a simple and happy life. i want to fulfill my dreams and die happily, and all those talks about me that i didnt know and didnt want to know, it doesn't matter because im dead. everytime i dont want to hear things, some how it will get into my ears. it hurts what my friends are saying about me. i learnt to trust only myself. he scolded me, dont be navie, you think your friends are good to you? whether my friends are putting on a mask doesnt matter, at least they dont make me cry! they say a human heart is the most scariest thing on earth. i have to agree. the valerie, happy and cheerful is dead. i no longer live that life. i've learn alot things. everyone cares only about themselve, for me. im stupid and consider myself dumb, because i care about my friends more than i care for myself. why is this world so black? i dont mind living this lie until i die, at least i'll die happy. say what they want about me, i no longer care. i was trying my best to get everyone not to dislike me. but even if they dont, they talk behind my back. i hate everyone. i live in darkness. once a happy young child who has a heart not to herself but to others. now, a dead, heartless person who no longer trust anyone and no longer will be. i just wish to die, but i dont wish to suicide, it's a crime. i just hope really soon i'll die of somthing. i dont know what that is, but iwant it. i feel pain in my heart, i try to confort myself, but it's no use, something inside me keeps telling me that this world is nothing but a lie. i cant stop crying, it just hurts too much. who will understand this pain, maybe God can.