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i consider myself lucky
6:00 PM
Friday, March 5, 2010  sorry if my english is pretty bad. my brain cannot really process, it takes while for it to process. for example, when you speak too fast and it's a really long sentence, i can't catch you. i didn't really sleep. yesterday i was feeling very very stress out, my heart was racing, the tension was very very intense, and i was hyped up thanks to 2 cups of starbucks coffee, loving the Espresso Frappe and the white chocolate Mocha, really sweet, loving it. A BIG THANK YOU TO PNG SHI HUI AND NAZ for coming over to help me out with the research. when i went home to continue my work, it was crappy, i was out of red paint and i needed to do my colour swatches, and i couldn't do it because my primary colour was red. i couldn't do the collage because i didn't have a scanner, i had to prepare the market research which took me HOURS to do so, and not forgetting presentation that i had today. WAIT WAIT WAIT, you might be thinking you can do it within a day, here's the deal i showed him my work on a theme yesterday, Japanese History Culture, he stared at me and asked me on what am i doing specifically, because Japanese culture has alot like Arts - Dance, Music blah blah blah, then there's painting, Geisha and alot more. im suppose to do on one, and he also said "are you sure i allowed you to do this" yes for almost 2 months you said it was okay, marking was initially tomorrow but he postpone it to the week after. i had to redo everything, because im doing on kimono right now, the one i did before, useless. how awesome right and he said he wants to see section 1 to 4 the next day, which is IMPOSSIBLE. there is a ZERO percent chance that i can actually finish within a freaking day! wait LESS THAN A DAY, plus i still have market research and a presentation points to do. OHMYGOD. and yes section one was trend pictures, 8 trends 10pics each (FYI it's not easy BECAUSE you have to go through the web just to look for the theme stated on WGSN), section two was research and mind map, 3 WORDY BOOKS TO READ AND PHOTOCOPY AND HIGHLIGHT! and IT IS BORING. section 3, colour swatches, out of red paint.... CANNOT DO, the STRESS I FEEL WHEN I FOUND OUT IM OUT OF RED PAINT and it was 3AM. the tension, stress and hyped up feeling lasted from yesterday 12AM until now, of cause it died down a little. section 4, Fabric, which i dont have. Mood board, no pictures, 6 Collages, no pictures. so you can imagine the stress i felt when he said i had to show him all of those by tomorrow when i had to redo everything. my heart was racing really fast, it's worse than O levels. 5AM my body couldn't take it much longer, i almost threw up. ): that's when i knew i had to sleep. lied down, GOD DAMMIT I COULDN'T REALLY SLEEP because i was so freaking tensed up! and worried for my project! i was half asleep until 7AM. got up bathed and left home. i was so freaking tired and really my mind went blank. i sat down on the mrt seat, on my way to school. i didn't move my eyes were staring at one point, i looked as if i've been possessed, then a man seating two seats away just looked at me, cause my my eyes would move to one point to another and my body won't move at all. i think he thinks im weird, like those mental kid. seriously i was feeling stressed. my heart couldn't stop racing since 12AM. when i reached class i felt hyped, stress, and really really stress. i kept moving my body because i couldn't stay still. after presentation i felt a little relieve. went for vik lim class, the class which i had to show him everything BUT i brought NOTHING AT ALL! first i apologised to him telling him how sorry we are for not being able to complete because it was just too much, to my surprise, he wasn't that angry, GOOD JOB VALERIE. so yeah I'M SAFE. HEHE. i realised, when i looked back, i consider my life lucky. if i wasn't i would have probably died at the age of 13, i have a few near death experience, most of it has to do with VAN, mind you it wasn't a car. what i meant was, the van just passed my face, if i had taken a really small step forward, i would have gotten hit and died on the spot, because it was speeding. near death, all the van was speeding, and if i took another step, i don't even think i can survive. i'm always pushing my luck, because of things that happened between me and someone else, it's always my friend being the sway one and i'm always safe, well most of the time. (: Thank God for his protection. (: lucky in a way that when shit happens it'll naturally cleans up itself. (: ALRIGHT IM GONNA SLLLLLEEEEP, hopefully i can, i dont really feel tired. words spilled @ 6:00 PM /
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