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eye infection ):
12:27 AM
Sunday, September 26, 2010  those small little words i wish to say yet i'm so stubborn, i don't want to give in. it's not because i want to win, but it's because i have to let go. i can't choose, and i don't want to hurt anyone. moreover i don't want to get attached. i really wish to hear things like "babe, i'll be by your side, let's see what we can do" and not asking me to choose when i really don't know what to do. if you really love someone, go for it. no? i mean if i had a girl (yes im deciding to be a les) and if she asked me what to do, i'll just say, "babe, i'll show you more love than he or she can, i'm selfish, but i want you for myself because i don't do shares. but if your heart weavers, or chooses another and not me, i'll let you go, your happiness is all it counts" getting replies like "just leave it as it is" ain't really helping. i wish to just text you "stay with me for i am weak without you" BUT I CANNOT BE SELFISH! my heart breaks. but it ain't that bad. my heart just yearns for you but my mind tells me you're not worth it. you're just like al the other guys. and my feelings will sure to fade after awhile. but when you love someone, nothing else matters. man, love is just a feeling. it comes and goes. it's just that i have yet find the one that comes and stay. that'll be nice. (: God knows i'll do anything for him/her. because you make me weak, and i just want to care and protect you. although i may be a bitch sometimes, but please understand i'm still a girl. at the end of the day, no matter whose fault is it, i'll just say i'm sorry for my immaturity, because i don't want to lose you. i don't like guys who doesn't fight for what they want. okay not like doing scheming stuff and get it at the end of the day by doing all those. if you were in my shoes what will you do when two of them say the same thing "it's okay, i'm fine with it, it doesnt matter if you choose him over me, just know that i'll be by your side" it's something like "your mom and girlfriend is drowning, both of them can't swim, and there's only you around who would you save" (AH-HUH, thought you can say things like "ask someone else to save your girlfriend or my mom can swim when i say "if both of them are drowning, who would you save?) yah what do you want me to say or do. no commitments, but i don't do two timing. one is enough. i don't like it when you don't show interest when i get all excited. i don't like it when you don't tell me things and all the sudden you tell me when you already did it and i'm like what? i don't like it when you say things but don't mean it. i don't like the feeling that i'm being used. i don't like how i tell you my problems you don't really care, you just cared that i'm unofficially yours. i don't like the fact that you think that it's a small problem that's easily sloved i don't like the fact that you walked out because i kept saying i don't want any. when in actual fact i just didn't want to go for the wrong one. i didn't like the fact of how lousy i felt i was when you tell me things. i didn't like the fact that i can't say all those things i say to my partner, because i'll think of the other's feeling. i don't like the feeling that im not being loved. i didn't wanna hurt anyone, and all those things i said about myself to make you walk out, although it hurts, but i don't wan to hurt you, so it's best that you leave. it hurts. but i'm gonna end up losing interest in you, it's better to let go now than later. i don't like so many things about you. but i simply just don't care, because we're all humans. God puts us in situations that we can handle, so is this the right one? i'm going through this alone, and you're not helping, you'll just happy by the fact that we're "together" weren't love meant to be simple ? it is. when it's only just THE one. i don't know why i always get myself in this kind of shit. yups at the end of a day, i'll just go for a girl (: i say all those is because i want to see how you handle things, i want to see if you're worth it to just go for you. but i guess i was wrong. toodleoo then. fuck my eye infection that has been going on for two days. sucks to have red eyes. and i♥you, had, have, having to. what matters most, is that i won't hurt you. whoops. words spilled @ 12:27 AM /
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