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MIA
7:43 PM
Tuesday, October 5, 2010 urgh. i dont have the time to blog. once a week okay?? i only have 3 weeks to complete everything. i have to redraw my pattern re sew my mock up? maybe not i'll just do the final. and i'm panicking. holy shit. i still have yet to master my guitar chords! GOD PLEASE GIVE ME MORE TIME!!! sigh. im wasting too much time! anw aint nothing much happened over the week! this morning lesson was like funny. because i showed vik my garment, he was super not happy, and i was like, max didnt even say anything, you have to say until i have to change everything. SIAN. just redo lah. and he said "who would want to wear this" i wanted to laugh and say "oh now you know, who design one, YOU" and so. imma busy please please please do NOT ask me out. (: woah damn sleepy today. (: i kinda feel that the school's trying to kill their students. not only is the school building is unattractive, the school system is like wtf? why must we take elective when it has nothing to do with fashion? okay maybe one or two that are offered. my elective is Guitar, because it's my interest. besides other electives are all taken up. worst part is, you have to fight for your space. not everyone in the school gets to take elective because the class is already full. and if you don't have enough elective points, you can't graduate. wtf is this ? you have to wake up 9am in the morning to book your elective. i tell you i was damn piss on that day i booked my elective. i can only take up 24 credits a sem, this sem my modules that is compulsory adds up to 20credits. plus i have to retake some other modules totals up to 22 credit points. i wanted to take a 4 credit module elective. because we only need 4 credit for elective, and 3 sas (sas is totally different from elective, sas is you do another course, wtf has it gotta do with fashion?) i called the school and told them about my problem that i cant take up more moudles and i need to clear so many! they asked me to go to the head of my department and ask for approval. 11am, most of the elective, NO SPACE! wtf, so i quickly booked the guitar elective to ensure my space first before asking my head. fine in the end i didnt ask, i'll probably dont get to have an elective or sas because it's full. and i have so many things to do for my course, i dont even have the time to practice on my guitar. fuck this shit. ): my advise, just go to laselle, i heard it's less stressful over there. yes i have a friend from NAFA who went to laselle, and she told me that. (: tell me what i wanna hear. i tried. i really did. i tried to take away this bitchy part of me. i can't, now. it's not that i want it. i didn't ask for it. im trying very very hard. i hate myself because of that. everyone has their flaws, and mine is just that. i've told you my story, you told me yours. you said you'll be the best. but you weren't. you said things which makes me smile. but soon after, you were just like the others. i say sorry not because i, neither you, were wrong. i said it because i treasure you. you misunderstood me. everytime you said "things ain't working out. Iet's just be friends" you'll never know how much tears i shed just for that sentence. i'm sorry for being me. i'm sorry for asking too much. im sorry for always picking a fight. i just wanted a simple "i love you". i just wanted some attention from you. i just wanted you to ask if im okay when im down or sick. i just wanted you to hold me like you own me. now, forget what we had, though it was short, but i did give you my best, well not entirely. hehe. God knows i'll do anything for you. i want to text you. i want to say "i love you" & "i miss you" BUT! i don't want you for myself. because i don't wanna hurt you anymore. you'll never know how hard is it for a stubborn little bitch at heart to let go. if you love someone, all you want is for them to be happy. and i can't give you, not because i don't want to, but it's because when my bitchy part acts up, i just don't care until the very end. that's when i say i'm sorry. and i really am. i didn't want that side of me to act up, sometimes i just lose control. sorry. WHOOOOOP, dont worry about me, i'll be fine I was thinking about her thinking about me, thinking about us, what we're gonna be. opened my eyes, it was only just a dream. what's not meant to be yours, accept it, and move forward. happiness is a choice. (: 3 days concept i guess. i'll find someone who would love me, and means it. (: words spilled @ 7:43 PM /
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