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12:58 PM
Thursday, December 9, 2010  WARNING SUPER LONG POST, DONT READ IT IF YOU DON'T LIKE READING LONGGGG JOURNAL ENTRIES im at workkk. wekkkkkkkkk. NO i'm not slacking. im on my break. OMG. 1PM, another 5 long boring hours. WORK, i hate annoying people but they make me laugh because they are really annoying. like today. i called a food industry. and they lady on the other went something like this.. OL: Food industry doesn't have a certifaction body. Me: oh i'm not too sure. OL: You should know. it's your job. *im already starting to feel a little piss. ROAR. sorry my period just came this morning ):* Me: I would like to do an update on my sytem. OL: Where you calling from. Do what update. You should know that food industry don't have this *in my head, i called many food industries and they do have ~.~* Me: well i'm just a part timer doing what im told. OL: It's your job to also know this Me: Okay. Thanks. bye. what i really meant to say was it's not my fucking problem if you don't have a certification body. and i'm not gonna stay here for long, so why they fuck should i know all this. if they didn't tell me of cause i wouldn't know. and why should i ask when im unfamiliar with the certification body? so stop fucking around with me, you're not my boss. thank you. (: BUT you know. i can't say that. HEHE and and i found some really weird names, i wish i can type it out but i can be sued for it. :/ it makes me laugh. ((: like there's one that sounds like banana. AND AND, MUTHU! HAHAHA. omg, shihui and i were making jokes with imaginary people, MUTHU was like the main one. i wanted to laugh on the phone. ((: Oh the only part i love about this job is. you get to laugh like people with funny names. ((: WOOP. my day brightens at.. 12NOON, LUNCH TIME. 4PM, 2MORE BLOODY HOURS. 6PM WOOO IM OUTTA HERE. every hour where i take toilet break. LOL. yes every hour. i feel as though im getting younger at heart day by day. i got overly excited when i saw this balloon man having a ladybug balloon on his wrist. i wanted to have one myself, but i told myself to grow up. HAHAHA. and i've been drinking milk and ribena every mondays to fridays. HEHE the blackcurrant and strawberry one is nice. i like {: okay gotta grow up. (: I WANNA HIT 21!! it's like the LEGAL AGE FOR ALMOST EVERYTHING. right?? TEEHEE Just the other day kim was talking about working life, how she felt, scared. if you're asking how i feel, i feel scared too. fear is part of our emotions, so there's nothing wrong being scared. esp when your dream is as big as mine and very very uncertain, all the more should you fear. {: YES I AM SCARED, i don't know who i can share this feeling with, even if i did i doubt their words will sink in my head.. oopsy. here's how i planned my life to be. 17 YO - Attend an Arts school to do fashion design because i have the passion for it, and i hope that they'll drill me real hard, AND YES THEY DID. do i like it? well some parts.. and i know it's for my own good to go through such hardship. at times i want to give up, but i told myself, if i give up, im giving up on my dream. and i don't want that of cause (: 21 YO - GET MARRIED, im just kidding, don't even have a boyfriend wanna get married sia. hahahaha. (: OKAY GRADUATE WITH A DIPLOMA IN FASHION DESIGN. create a BIG BANG in my final collect and hope to obtain a scholarship to Bunka College. BETWEEN 1- 4 years i'll graduate with a degree in fashion design. let say i graduate in 4 yeears time, i'll be 25/26! wow. old. i hope to work in high end brand companies. and save enough money to start my own label. of cause i wish to be like alexander wang and all those designers who have their collections on the runway. BUT, along the way, of cause sometimes you don't get what you dream. why? money issue. im getting my braces done in Jan -$2900. I want to get an Iphone 4 -$300, computer table -$200, book shelves -$200, treadmill -$300, Facial -$500, tattoo -$500, other self expenese -$1.5k AND IM LIKE SLOWLY SAVING IT UP. i have a problem saving, sian. in addition, im going to Korea next dec. WINTER CLOTHINGS, AIR TICKETS, HOTELS, FOOD, SHOPPING, TRAVEL. MONEY MONEY MONEY. that is why i love MONEY. although it only gives temporary happiness, IT IS STILL HAPPINESS. hahahah. name me one thing that gives you happiness 24/7. love don't count. i would like to see you being happy with no fights 24/7. sometimes loves only brings temporary happiness, like, you're happy he surprises you. you're happy to see him after a long while. but slowly the happiness will turn to feeling, content/okay, if youre seeing each other too often. if you're saying im wrong, you must be with him/her for awhile only, say after 10years, see if you're still happy 24/7 with him/her around. *mmmmm, strawberry ribena, damn nice. should try it. gonna buy 2 more later!* YES MONEY. i think i'll bank loan if i cant get the scholarship. but im not sure if they bank will loan me the cash. damn ex sio the school. $667 Admission fees. $500 other fees. $10,000 tution fees per year! ): that's like 40k for 4 years. ): sometimes i wish i was born with a silver spoon in my mouth. if i were to work, i have to work a few years plus alot of savings!! )): if not i'll just go to another fashion school in Japan. sigh. so fear? yes i fear. because im human. name me one big shot who doesn't feel fear once in awhile. name me one person who knows when he is ready.. okay maybe there are, but once they stand on the spotlight, im pretty sure they have doubts of whether they are still ready. i feel that im not ready all the time but i still go for it. because if i don't do it, i never will cause im always feeling unready. i mean it's natural to feel that way. but, when you do, you got to give yourself a little push until you're in the spotlight, and give it your best, because there is never a perfect solution to everything. you may have a little wrong here and there, but you learn from your wrongs and improve. (: there's why i don't mind my teacher giving one hell of a nagging. because I DO LEARN. and when im unsure, I ASK, YES I GET SCOLDINGS (because im always skipping class :x) but i learn (: that's also part of life. ready or not, just go for it, because you'll never know when will your next chance be. FEAR, YES I FEEL YOU, but im not alone because i have people around me. and i know i'll be okay. (: being in a design industry is pretty hard. i mean i get look down sometimes why? cause in their mindset im just a no brainer. well i dont get that all the time, just a few occasions. i wanted to scream at their face. but it's not worth it, because i know im worth much more than them, my turn to shine will soon come upon me. soon. moreover, you crack your head thinking of what to design. you think it's easy? doing POA is easy, doing math was a piece of cake, doing science was fun. design? im kinda new to it cause i didnt take art in the past because i thought taking art means no future :X HEY! different thinking now because i love art. (: for all those easy topics you need a book and start understanding and feeding information to your brain. design? inspirations. where? EVERYWHERE. there's no book answers for designs. YOU THINK OF IT. in other words. ORIGINALITY. and it's always a yes or a no, there's no maybe. on paper, you get it wrong, you take your pen cancel your wrong answer and fill in the right answer next to it, in design, you think it's nice, you think the teacher would say it's a good job. but he thinks otherwise, one word, redo. and don't all design student hate that one little one. REDO. this means, starting from scratch. so you think design is easy, you just pick up a pencil and start scribbling and call it art. you're wrong. you think we just sew in school. hell no. we have theory too. we have history. and every single dress/pants/shirt your sew, you need a paper patter before you start to cut your fabric. and other stuff. but hey it's what i enjoy to do. (: i know there are people out there who says, hey my parents didn't like me to do what i want, they want me to do this or that. my parents didnt like the idea of me doing fashion because when i was in sec 3 my mom told me to do banking and finance, that's why i took up POA. only when i was in sec 5 did i realise i have a strong interest in fashion. i was scare to tell my parents that i wanted to take fashion, when i had the guts to say, my mom said no, and my dad strongly disapprove. i reasoned with them and eventually im here (: and they too understand that it's my life and my choice. i know that they think it's for my own good not to do this, but i feel that i should take the risk. my life, my choice, you may not be happy with what im doing now, but nevertheless, i'll make sure that one day you'll be proud of me. that day, i'm sure it'll come. (: wheeee oh and it's friday now, i know the date is like thursday but i didnt manage to finish typing during my lunch break. HAHA. wheee did packing today. 3hours for 90$. WAH MONEY MONEY MONEY, I LOVE MONEY MONEY. haha, and people call me the materialistic girl. (: what you dont know is, i don't like to spend other people's money, which includes my boyfriend (no, i don't have a boyfriend. it's been like 10months). i prefer to give than to take. i prefer to bless and receive blessing not from people's money but in other areas like grades or stuff like that. (: im ending my work on the 14th!!! my period came this month and im happy all the way, moody for awhile then happy again, this is the second time this happened to me. good. im in the festive season.  that's my wallpaper! (: I'm planning on a AWESOME Christmas celebration on Christmas day itself. for all the lonely people such as myself. who doesn't have a boyfriend to spend it with ): hahahah!  IM BUYING THIS FOR CHRISTMAS!!!! FROM BAKERZIN, $54  AND MAYBE HONEY BAKED HAM, $68, but joce said turkey ham is better, shall try to look for that. MAYBE.  MY HAIR COLOUR, BEFORE.  MY HAIR COLOUR AFTER I WENT TO A SALON TO DYE. but it faded three days after -.- now it's damn brown, plus a little blond. SAD. i like the colour above but it wont stay ): the back half of my hair from ash grey became ash blond. LOL.  i like her tattoo! love the shading, will do the shading like that ((:  DONE. im gonna butter on friday. (: it's my third time clubbing. not lying. and i just wanna look at the place (: im interested in going to the gays and lesbians club. SOON. :D after Christmas! words spilled @ 12:58 PM /
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