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frustrated!
12:04 AM
Monday, September 26, 2011 i think i must be mad, i prefer vik over gary. although vik nags alot but i learn alot from his naggings, and that's what i came to school for right? to LEARN. although at times vik may be super unreasonable but Gary's worse. seriously everyone have already confirmed one of their designs and look at me, im redoing it for the THIRD TIME! i seriously want to strangle him, spit at him, and punch him. he was like okay show me more collage work, i did more. and suddenly BAM he says "i don't know where you're heading, you have no specific direction, i can't tell what you want to do" i said i want to do futuristic, he asked me what's the trend now, i said clean, simple, lots of coats. he told me not to do futuristic because it's not in trend. he asked for my colours, i said i wanted to do one colour with a touch of black for all garment, example all red with a little black. He asked me why? i said because now the trend, designers are doing one colour, and anime is so colourful, lively and fun, so i thought doing one colour would be a great idea and im doing bright colours. guess what he said. "just because the trend is all colours doesn't mean you should follow right?" WTF, first tell me follow trend then when i do for one part he said don't follow other designer. WTF. OH AND DID I MENTION THEY REJECTED WHAT I WANTED TO DO. my inspiration was from anime big eyes.  so i decided to cut out the shape of an eye and made it big and different in size, draped it, and got this:  which i thought was a mother fucking cool outcome, i really loved the idea and wanted to make a vest with that hood.  he said it was too costumy, do something more realistic. im like but im doing like a simple vest? how can it be? i mean come on look at all those student who were able to showcase their work and have it on WGSN (wgsn is some top notch website with all the latest trend, latest runway etc, and only those who paid can access, which my school paid a huge sum of money so that us, students, can use it) and it's not wearable outside. you say you're preparing us for the real world, 2 years we've been train that way, why cant you let us have some freedom on our 3rd year? how can i call myself a designer if i can't let my creative loose. even if i make out the outfit you think it's more realistic, i wont be happy, i wont be satisfied because it's NOT what i want to do. you praise those student's work on WGSN, you praise laselle fashion show (which i think it's not wearable, some outfit, but it looks fucking cool) and when we tried to do the same you said it's too costumy, not realistic, you say no. where's the freedom of designing? this is the 3rd time he has said no and i was like 30% nearly halfway done, redo. fuck. it's demoralizing, look at everyone else they are so ahead of me, look at me. WTF. i really felt like deferring a year, FUCK, but i keep telling myself I CAN. I AM NOT WEAK! STRESS? SO WHAT?! BRING IT ON! self motivation, but normally it takes awhile for me to get back on the positive side. right now, i think i'll just think of one design, and PUSH. he reject, i will really blow and ask him "Tell me, what do you want?" vik at least when he rejects he tells me what he wants to see instead. Gary? he will just vaguely tell me what he wants, and when i ask him to be more clear of what he says, his answers always leaves me thinking of one thing, and that's not the thing he wants to see when i showed it to him, he'll be like no and telling me some other things. WHICH DRIVES ME CRAZY. YOU DON'T LIKE IT DOESN'T MEAN OTHERS WON'T TOO. i was hoping to do something very creative and try to get a scholarship in one of Japan's school. but he doesn't want to see very creative, he wants to see analysis, research and a little creativity. but sorry that's not how i work, i wont restrict myself in exploring other areas. you restrict yourself so much, no wonder you haven't made it big yet. oops. words spilled @ 12:04 AM /
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