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i need to start panicking.
7:05 PM
Tuesday, October 11, 2011 I'm lazy. I just feel like rotting on my bed. and best part is i'm not in a panic state, when i should be. cause i'm the slowest in class. hmm. i'm like, whatever, takes out my work, do a little, watch how i met your mother. i love barney. Alex intro-ed to me, apparently i guessed what happened in the particular episode he showed me, didn't intrigue me. one fine day i decided to watch from the start. yup, i'm still at season one. everyday watching 1-3 episodes? can't watch too much it gets boring. lol. started watching big bang theory too. okay i need like 48hours in a day to watch and do my projects. God, i need motivation to start on my work. ): i'm looking more forward to bangkok in Jan, first week. BUT i need the money to pay for my braces. fml. why do i work? because i want to have a beautiful smile (braces), i want to take inspirational pictures (camera), i want to go to BANGKOK!!!!, i want a new phone (iphone 4S because my phone is beyond hope). i want to SHOP! but that'll probably be somewhere in feb! no money. all my money earned are to buy all my wants and needs. i know i can skip the wants, however i'm pretty sure it'll benefit my future. and guess what's the saddest part, i'm paying for myself. actually i don't really mind, IF IM EARNING MORE THAN WHAT I AM RIGHT NOW! i earn so, yeah i can say i have money, but i can't spend it. i'm not a fortunate kid where most (90%) of the time parents are paying for expensive stuff. NOT LIKE NAZ, ask and you'll receive! envy. but i've never regretted being born in this family, i have awesome parents which i wish they were more strict with me when i was a kid, BRINGING ME TO SWIMMING CLASS, PIANO CLASSES! haha i find people who plays the piano rather charming, esp males. aww awesome to the max. however if naz were to know how to play the piano i think i'll get turned off and probably not be charmed by other guys who can play the piano anymore. hmm. i'm not racist ): fine, just a LITTLE <: i don't know if you ever noticed this model, Henrique Fukuoka, he's like everywhere, in posters of everlast (i almost typed everyland), gyms, slimming, mrt stations, bus stop. HOT MUCH. and guess what. I HAVE A PICTURE TAKEN WITH HIM. he is so charming, apparently van doesn't like him because he has the arrogant face. HAHHAHAH.  as we grow older we mature further, however i feel rather sad for people who never put themselves in other people shoes, learn to accept and listen to other people's idea rather than to always think that he/she is always right. to YOU who show me the door instead of asking me to stay, i wish for once you put yourself in others shoes and think how they would have felt. for once stop thinking average, because you don't dare to dream you call me naive. Just because you don't believe in yourself you say that i should grow up and look at reality. well sorry to tell you that all awesome people who made it big today was because of one small little dream. i may not be mature enough, i have not met the working world right now but you don't know my story. 20 years of my life, im always either schooling or working (holidays) i know schooling is still better but one of the days we have to step out, work and build a family. that's why i rather work now, i'm working towards my future. school may be fun, but who says life can't be? as long as i don't give up, i know i can. that's why i got myself inked. in every childish things i said there is always a mature reason behind. i'm glad you asked me to leave when i said i wanted to. i'm glad i was half drunk and my emotions got the better of me. i'm glad i deleted off all your text messages before my head is cleared. ever wonder why i don't get jealous or i don't get angry when an average girl would have been? have you ever consider why i don't have the time for you? i do get jealous and angry over certain matters, but i put myself in your shoes and thought it would have been ridiculous to start an argument with you, because i didn't want to hurt you. i could have forgiven you to what you've have done, instead of sincerely apologizing, you just told me 'you can choose to leave but don't hate her' how could i not have been even more angry when you said that. i was waiting for a sincere 'sorry' i would have forgiven you and told you we can start afresh, and naz would probably slap my face and told me 'wrong move val' when you love someone, nothing else matter as long as the person is by your side. no? but i'm glad you said that. i got over the emotions, but i won't lie, i still miss you, i still want you. however this time round, i'm listening to my head, because my emotions are stupid. no i don't hate you, i never will. i'm thankful for what have happened because it made me stronger. words spilled @ 7:05 PM /
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