Valerie

Fashion muse

2011-11-10T20:18:00.004+08:00

i simply love him, Chi Zhang. he's my current fashion muse as im doing on menswear collection.

i need to start panicking.

2011-10-11T19:05:00.003+08:00

I'm lazy. I just feel like rotting on my bed. and best part is i'm not in a panic state, when i should be. cause i'm the slowest in class. hmm. i'm like, whatever, takes out my work, do a little, watch how i met your mother. i love barney. Alex intro-ed to me, apparently i guessed what happened in the particular episode he showed me, didn't intrigue me. one fine day i decided to watch from the start. yup, i'm still at season one. everyday watching 1-3 episodes? can't watch too much it gets boring. lol. started watching big bang theory too. okay i need like 48hours in a day to watch and do my projects. God, i need motivation to start on my work. ): i'm looking more forward to bangkok in Jan, first week. BUT i need the money to pay for my braces. fml. why do i work? because i want to have a beautiful smile (braces), i want to take inspirational pictures (camera), i want to go to BANGKOK!!!!, i want a new phone (iphone 4S because my phone is beyond hope). i want to SHOP! but that'll probably be somewhere in feb! no money. all my money earned are to buy all my wants and needs. i know i can skip the wants, however i'm pretty sure it'll benefit my future. and guess what's the saddest part, i'm paying for myself. actually i don't really mind, IF IM EARNING MORE THAN WHAT I AM RIGHT NOW! i earn so, yeah i can say i have money, but i can't spend it. i'm not a fortunate kid where most (90%) of the time parents are paying for expensive stuff. NOT LIKE NAZ, ask and you'll receive! envy. but i've never regretted being born in this family, i have awesome parents which i wish they were more strict with me when i was a kid, BRINGING ME TO SWIMMING CLASS, PIANO CLASSES! haha i find people who plays the piano rather charming, esp males. aww awesome to the max. however if naz were to know how to play the piano i think i'll get turned off and probably not be charmed by other guys who can play the piano anymore. hmm. i'm not racist ): fine, just a LITTLE <:

i don't know if you ever noticed this model, Henrique Fukuoka, he's like everywhere, in posters of everlast (i almost typed everyland), gyms, slimming, mrt stations, bus stop. HOT MUCH. and guess what. I HAVE A PICTURE TAKEN WITH HIM. he is so charming, apparently van doesn't like him because he has the arrogant face. HAHHAHAH.

as we grow older we mature further, however i feel rather sad for people who never put themselves in other people shoes, learn to accept and listen to other people's idea rather than to always think that he/she is always right. to YOU who show me the door instead of asking me to stay, i wish for once you put yourself in others shoes and think how they would have felt. for once stop thinking average, because you don't dare to dream you call me naive. Just because you don't believe in yourself you say that i should grow up and look at reality. well sorry to tell you that all awesome people who made it big today was because of one small little dream. i may not be mature enough, i have not met the working world right now but you don't know my story. 20 years of my life, im always either schooling or working (holidays) i know schooling is still better but one of the days we have to step out, work and build a family. that's why i rather work now, i'm working towards my future. school may be fun, but who says life can't be? as long as i don't give up, i know i can. that's why i got myself inked. in every childish things i said there is always a mature reason behind. i'm glad you asked me to leave when i said i wanted to. i'm glad i was half drunk and my emotions got the better of me. i'm glad i deleted off all your text messages before my head is cleared. ever wonder why i don't get jealous or i don't get angry when an average girl would have been? have you ever consider why i don't have the time for you? i do get jealous and angry over certain matters, but i put myself in your shoes and thought it would have been ridiculous to start an argument with you, because i didn't want to hurt you. i could have forgiven you to what you've have done, instead of sincerely apologizing, you just told me 'you can choose to leave but don't hate her' how could i not have been even more angry when you said that. i was waiting for a sincere 'sorry' i would have forgiven you and told you we can start afresh, and naz would probably slap my face and told me 'wrong move val' when you love someone, nothing else matter as long as the person is by your side. no? but i'm glad you said that. i got over the emotions, but i won't lie, i still miss you, i still want you. however this time round, i'm listening to my head, because my emotions are stupid. no i don't hate you, i never will. i'm thankful for what have happened because it made me stronger.

frustrated!

2011-09-26T00:04:00.005+08:00

i think i must be mad, i prefer vik over gary. although vik nags alot but i learn alot from his naggings, and that's what i came to school for right? to LEARN. although at times vik may be super unreasonable but Gary's worse. seriously everyone have already confirmed one of their designs and look at me, im redoing it for the THIRD TIME! i seriously want to strangle him, spit at him, and punch him. he was like okay show me more collage work, i did more. and suddenly BAM he says "i don't know where you're heading, you have no specific direction, i can't tell what you want to do" i said i want to do futuristic, he asked me what's the trend now, i said clean, simple, lots of coats. he told me not to do futuristic because it's not in trend. he asked for my colours, i said i wanted to do one colour with a touch of black for all garment, example all red with a little black. He asked me why? i said because now the trend, designers are doing one colour, and anime is so colourful, lively and fun, so i thought doing one colour would be a great idea and im doing bright colours. guess what he said. "just because the trend is all colours doesn't mean you should follow right?" WTF, first tell me follow trend then when i do for one part he said don't follow other designer. WTF.

OH AND DID I MENTION THEY REJECTED WHAT I WANTED TO DO.
my inspiration was from anime big eyes.

so i decided to cut out the shape of an eye and made it big and different in size, draped it, and got this:

which i thought was a mother fucking cool outcome, i really loved the idea and wanted to make a vest with that hood.

he said it was too costumy, do something more realistic. im like but im doing like a simple vest? how can it be? i mean come on look at all those student who were able to showcase their work and have it on WGSN (wgsn is some top notch website with all the latest trend, latest runway etc, and only those who paid can access, which my school paid a huge sum of money so that us, students, can use it) and it's not wearable outside. you say you're preparing us for the real world, 2 years we've been train that way, why cant you let us have some freedom on our 3rd year? how can i call myself a designer if i can't let my creative loose. even if i make out the outfit you think it's more realistic, i wont be happy, i wont be satisfied because it's NOT what i want to do. you praise those student's work on WGSN, you praise laselle fashion show (which i think it's not wearable, some outfit, but it looks fucking cool) and when we tried to do the same you said it's too costumy, not realistic, you say no. where's the freedom of designing?

this is the 3rd time he has said no and i was like 30% nearly halfway done, redo. fuck. it's demoralizing, look at everyone else they are so ahead of me, look at me. WTF. i really felt like deferring a year, FUCK, but i keep telling myself I CAN. I AM NOT WEAK! STRESS? SO WHAT?! BRING IT ON! self motivation, but normally it takes awhile for me to get back on the positive side. right now, i think i'll just think of one design, and PUSH. he reject, i will really blow and ask him "Tell me, what do you want?" vik at least when he rejects he tells me what he wants to see instead. Gary? he will just vaguely tell me what he wants, and when i ask him to be more clear of what he says, his answers always leaves me thinking of one thing, and that's not the thing he wants to see when i showed it to him, he'll be like no and telling me some other things. WHICH DRIVES ME CRAZY.

YOU DON'T LIKE IT DOESN'T MEAN OTHERS WON'T TOO. i was hoping to do something very creative and try to get a scholarship in one of Japan's school. but he doesn't want to see very creative, he wants to see analysis, research and a little creativity. but sorry that's not how i work, i wont restrict myself in exploring other areas. you restrict yourself so much, no wonder you haven't made it big yet. oops.

everyday shi hui's shuffling.

2011-08-22T11:20:00.030+08:00

lazy days. TODAY I DON'T FEEL LIKE DOING ANYTHING *whistles* I JUST WANT TO LAY IN MY BED *whistles*
HOLD ON A SEC, it's more like, everyday I don't feel like doing anything. and my workload is piling up. *whistles*

MY WEEKEND WAS AWESOME. Desaru Resort down in Malaysia.
they didn't have much over there to do, but with two idiots with me, it's more than enough to fill up my excitement.

AH PNG AND ALEX. my two most beloved bestbestbest among the best friends.

well, we were almost late to catch the 30 mins ride ferry. the ferry's cheap cost about 8$ two way trip (: cheap right. bus ride $2, baggage fee about 1 - 2$. it wasn't entirely our fault because their web page stated 630pm the bus from tampines will fetch us to changi terminal. when we called them at about 620pm, they said that the last bus was 530pm, and they close at 640pm. shi hui panicked. it's amazing how alex and i were really calmed about it, HAHA. we called a cab down, the taxi driver was damn cute, his taxi was in front of us, and there i was worrying how long the taxi will take to arrive. the taxi ride took about 20mins. cab driver sibei slow and we were like can you drive faster we're late. the taxi uncle was like saying why we don't know how to be early, so last min. and we explained to him it's not our fault. and he was like trying to insist that it's out fault. which irritated the hell out of me. -.- we managed to get the people over at the ferry terminal to wait for us. it's really funny to see shi hui panicking. she was like "alex how, it's already 6.37pm" biting her finger nails.

3 days of junk food. i'm so not use to this kind of lifestyle, because i don't take much junk food.

First night. Movie night. and shuffling. HAHA, yeah we tried to shuffle but fail badly. however it was hilarious.

2nd day we had breakfast buffet. SDG13/pax

i suck at buffet cause i feel full damn easily. so it's not worth my money to go for buffets. and i LOVE to eat, so it kinda sucks. went to the beach after. wanted to do some water sports but tooooooo expansive. want to do Jet skiing, parasailing, snorkeling (but i can't swim -.-, seriously need to learn how to swim and dive and do CPR) well CPR can be useful at times what, save a life.

the water park is not what we expected. really small.

we went for spa. mine was oil massage for my lower back (because of old injury) and my tensed up shoulder due to carrying heavy stuff. about $56, definitely way better than the one i had in singapore!

$67 appox. altogether. the food was bad. it tasted as though i can make it myself but better! the drinks was horribly mixed. it's a small bar next to the beach. and for all you people who are wondering how my hair looks like. yah. i look like a damn butch. that's why i hate my hair now.

went to see fire flies, SO PRETTY! they look like reachable stars. very very beautiful.

3rd day, pack up catch the ferry JAWS to singapore. (: had dinner at delifrance, which was horrible. HORRIBLE FOOD. like seriously?!

and you have to try this, no it's not a penis. it's coffee eclair at delifrance. an i toast a little of it, just so that the coffee cream on the top melts, it's hot on the outside and cold in the inside. haha sounds a little wrong. but it's damn good. how i found out about this? it was a mistake. my mom bought this one day, and it was early in the morning, my brain wasn't working, so i thought i need to heat it up, halfway through i realized i didn't need too, by the time i took it out the coffee cream had already melted and there were bubbles, so i just ate it. OMG IT WAS DAMN GOOD, 3 - 4mins in the oven is good enough, it'll be better if your oven can let you choose where you want the heat to be, select the top heat, you just need to melt the coffee cream. SINFUL, but damn good. i havent tried the chocolate one yet.

OH and if you're wondering how's school. piece of shit. i wanted to do on vampire as my final collection theme. i did a little on it already, they rejected my theme. they said too emo, like alot people wants to do emo. and i had like so much feel and interest in it. so i changed to Japanese anime, i mean i love them. but to create a collection through different elements is tough! and i don't have much feel of it. screw the school they say we can do anything for our collection, but REJECT REJECT REJECT. it's who i am, and what i like , and they just don't allow me to be myself. screw up. ohwell. i'll still do my best (: it's week 3? and i havent done anything, im so screwed. hmm. i really feel like doing my year 3 next year, but i don't want to. JIA YOU. (: which got me thinking what i wanna do after NAFA. further my studies of cause. but i'm planning to work 1 year first, play too. however my teacher advised me not too, like you'lll lose the momentum, which i highly doubt it? i mean i waited about 8 months for NAFA to start. 1 year isn't much of a difference. i do which to go to Japan to study, still, despite all those natural disaster. i hope they lower the school fees because of that. (: hahahah, if not i'll most probably get a student loan. (: during my 1 year of work, i'll probably save enough money to travel around Europe (Paris/London/Venice), backpack around United states, Definitely headover to florida for the harry potter theme park (: during that one year i'll learn basic French and Advance Japanese. (: French is because Milan, Paris is know to be a fashion spot, therefore if ever i head over there, at least i know the basics, well maybe i'll just stop at intermediate (: when i get my B(A) / Degree Cert i'll probably be 24/25 years old. and i feel that i'll have a Japanese boyfriend. i mean there is a chance right? well im excited to go to Japan! though it's foreign to me and i don't know anything there, it's a new experience i'm willing to take. People love to be at their comfort zone, i do too. i'm afraid to step out of my comfort box too. but if you never step out, how can you experience something great and new outside your box? you don't know what's going to happen, and that what makes like interesting. like M1 says "One life, Live it" and i really do believe in that short sentence, you may think that it's stupid of me, but at least i'm willing to take on anything new. and when i die, at least i know i lived to the fullest, no regrets because i have done it. (: oh and i definitely have to learn self defense martial arts, perhaps wing chun cause of ip man. like fucking cool and shuai. self defense it to protect myself while im in Japan (; Get a driver's license, learn to swim. that's about all? work hard, play hard! i believe once im out in the working world, a chance like this will be hard to come by. (:
hmm, if i didn't have any interest in fashion, i'll most probably dream to be a Pâtisserie. when i was young and till now, i wish to open a pastry shop, beautiful pastry out on display, taste awesome too, but i never really know how can i link it up with fashion. like fashion retail. well, i got so many years ahead, will think up of something yah (:

WARNING! if you have heard about what happened between me and Sauce, you don't kneed to read the following.
It was a saturday night. my third day at Sauce. worked as a waitress, i am being paid $7 an hour, but will increase if i do my job well. but looking at the manager, i doubt he'll ever increased it. others are being paid $10/hour because it was a different manager. 3am, i was super tired. and the manager came up to me.
M: manager. V: me
M: what happened to the 4 order sheets?
V: i threw it away
M: why?
V: cause i wrote it wrongly
M: where is it?
V: in the dustbin? *duh*
M: do you know why every night we are here counting the order sheets?
V: no?
M: You think it's stupid?
M: if you got nothing to do, just clock out and get lost. Everyone here is sitting and doing something.
*in my head, dude not everyone.*
M: why do you think i asked you to wait for a brand new order sheet?!
*obviously because my old order sheet ran out and you're getting a new one for me?*
it's like all his questions are really dumb questions, never gone through his head.
well i didn't want to say anything cause he'll probably give me nonsensical answers. example of stupid people.
V: i didn't know. nobody told me about it. this is my third day doing it, and nobody told me, nobody told me off when i did it on the first day so i thought it was okay because most restaurant you can do that.
M: how do I know whether you opened a bottle with the order sheet and threw away the order form?!
well obviously he wasn't paying attention to my words, i really wanted to say "what's your CCTV for then? display? check your bloody stocks against the cashier! if anything went missing check your CCTV then? you fucking dumb or what? i didn't say that cause he'll probably give me a stupid answer. and i don't argue with stupid people, only makes me angry more.
V: then i'm sorry *with an attitude*
went to the toilet. came back he asked me into the room for a 1 to 1 talk.
M: What's with your fucking attitude.
yes he used the F word on me, which made me EVEN MORE ANGRY. first off, you want me to respect you but look at your own language, look at how you treat your staff. Respect you? please.
M: you're just giving me the attitude that you're working part time and just fuck and go.
i didn't say anything cause i really just wanted to leave this place and go home.
V: Honestly, yeah.
M: is this how you talk to your parents?!
and he started talking about the four order sheets, which i think it was ridiculous, i didn't want to argue back because it was pointless to argue with this kind of people.
V: if you're not happy with my performance then i'll just leave.
Manager calms down a little..
M: next week come and get your pay
V: Whatever *with an attitude, and walks off*
Manager got damn pissed and threw his key into the drawer.
i felt damn zai about myself, like super cool when i said whatever, rolled my eyes and walked off. like the i can't be bothered with you anymore. lol. he did use the word fuck a few times. if i did a grave mistake you used it on me i can understand.. but on something i didn't know or wasnt informed. sorry im no push over. i won't say im sorry sincerely. the pay isn't that appealing anyway. and im not afraid i can't get myself a part time job. and you're not the fucking owner of Sauce. Butterfactory owns it. I'm glad im out because i was thinking about leaving cause it ends really late and it drains me. not good cause im schooling. i told my mother about it and she got really pissed with the manager. she asked me to write a complain letter, but i told her all complains goes to him. so she asked me to blogged about it. im glad i didn't use any F words cause if i did want to complain to Butter, he can't say that i was using the F word on him that's why he used it. srew him his initials starts with F, like the word Fucker starts with a F, fits him well. (:

no, i did not get into a car accident and died.

2011-07-24T13:00:00.000+08:00

as my title says, no, i did not get into a car accident and died. i've been rather busy being superwoman coping with two jobs that i do not like. gonna change into a new environment, bye Alteration Initiative, bye Yamagawa. well it's not say i don't like, it's just that i don't really like to do things that im super comfortable with, no new stuff, and i get bored. SIAN RIGHT. well my future job must allow me to move around if not ah, 1year later i'll just quit. and so i'll be starting work at Sauce, i think. which suits my time table better and the pay is more attractive. (: man starting school in aug, feel me sian-ness. FUCCCCCCKKKKKKK. AND I HAVEN'T FOUND ANY BOOKS YET. shit on my life. POOP. well no worries, because i believe everything will be alright. CAUSE GOD IS GOOD TO ME, AMEN. haha. (: i wish to do Mafia for my final collection or Dandy, woman dress in men suit i guess. (: cause it's kinda like my style. don't ask me my style cause i have alot, except girlie style. no not my thing. well, went to USS. mastercard got discount, i paid $52.80?

yeah i had fun, the blue and red ride, AWESOME, but can be better. not thrilling enough. it is thrilling but not alot. hehe. long queue for the red one. when i got off my head felt dizzy. im such a weakling. oh dear. BUT USS CANT BEAT HARRY POTTER THEME PARK!

no i havent been to it. but someone told me there's this ride that goes up 90 degree and down, SEE SECOND PICTURE! OMG EXCITED!!!!! but im in singapore. sian. that someone also told me she spent 1k plus USD 9days in the theme park, which they had different theme parks as well. accommodation included. CHEAP LEH. 9days!! i also want. air ticket another story lah. AHHHHH, I WANNA BUY A WAND!! she showed me picture of the wand shop, looks like the one in the movie. SO COOL. and buy a scarf and their attire. hahaha. no i don't know her, she's a NUS student, i was doing IT fair and she was wearing a gryffindor hoddie jacket and i asked her where she got it cause it looks damn cool. and yah she told me at the harry potter theme park (which i guess it was, and i really wanted to go there badly) and so we started talking and she even showed me picture. T.T my crying face, i wish i can teleport there. the staff over there dressed like students of hogwarts, which was damn funny, cause there were some that was old and fat. HAHA!!! no i don't have a picture to share, if not you can laugh along with me. i so wanna go thereeeeeeee......

speaking of IT fair in NUS, the first two days watch youtube with leah almost the whole day. second day the crowd was a little higher. but still. hehe. well i think i talk too much. my job is to set up domain for the students, so that they can excess to the school internet. it takes 20mins to 30mins. if there's problem, HELL LONG. haha. and i feel awkward if i dont talk to them, like 20mins is long, and if im gonna sit there staring at the laptop whenever it restarts it like weird. so i'll just talk to them. (: i mean it beats you and me staring at the screen waiting for it to load finish right? they are all nice people. (: i still like the China girl (her accent aint that strong) that talked about the harry potter theme park. she damn pretty, damn fair and damn slim + tall. so many plus points can. when she first came up to me she was really really piss cause someone told her to come over to our department to upgrade ram when she should have gone down instead. and it's not all in one area, viewing of laptops is in the hall, to collect the laptop, they have to go to another place (which they have to walk uphill) and get their laptop, after which they have to take the stairs and come up two levels to join the school domain. so yeah i understand her anger. and moreover her laptop had some problems which she then need to wait a little longer. if i hadn't started any conversation with her, she probably would have scolded me, maybe in chinese and i probably wont understand her. lol. i like her, no not like in a lesbian way.

and yes, i do wish to spend more time with my grandmama, so please pray for her. my dad told me she may not make it through her next birthday. which saddens my heart. although i've been saying mean things about her, such as her nagging is a killer and it pisses me off. but she's still my grandmother.

MOVIE MARATHON IN DAYS

2011-06-19T11:55:00.015+08:00

UPDATED PLEASE CLICK "SHOP NOW" (: thanks dears!

well, this whole week i was practically watching movies everyday. so i'm just gonna do a review and talk a little about the movie.

Something Borrowed

Genre: Romance Comedy
Story plot: Rachel White and Dex met during their law school years. They had feelings for each other, however they kept mum about it. While having dinner together, Rachel's best friend, Darcy, coincidentally showed up. Dex and Darcy had great conversation together, Rachel feeling awkward and upset left them. Dex later proposed to Darcy. Rachel still has feelings for him, Dex too still have feelings for Rachel, just they they both thought the other didn't have any feelings.

well, the story line was great, funny, and sometimes gets you emotional. i would give it a 3 outta 5?
My rating:

Hangover Part 2

Genre: Comedy
Story plot: Same story line as hangover 1, if you haven't caught hangover 1, you have to watch it, it's hilarious! instead, Stu is getting married to a Thai lady, played by Jamie Chung (she's like damn pretty and hot. GOD! lol) and their marriage is to be held in Thailand. And same shit happened, they ended up in Bangkok, so instead of looking for Duct this time round, they lost Lauren's (Jamie Chung) younger brother. So they had to trace back, find clues, and find Lauren's younger brother, Teddy. Stu had tattooed his face (HAHA), Alan shaved his head, Teddy lost a finger (and he didn't even freaked out, weird, i would have gone "WHERE THE FUCK IS MY FINGER, FUCK THIS SHIT, i must be dreaming *slaps myself* FUCK THIS IS REAL" lol) and the monkey's really smart, and if im not wrong i read that the monkey got addicted to nicotine. LOL. CHOW'S FUNNY, as usually, SMALL DICK. lol!!
My Rating:

Green Lantern

Genre: Action/ Adventure
Story Plot: The universe is filled with different planets with different species. Some were selected, protectors of peace and justice, they are called the Green Lantern Corps. Few had fallen, one of the alien then chose Hal Jordan to take over his place as a green lantern. The caused of those green lantern had fallen was because of a fallen guardian, Parallax who was consumed by the power of fear. The power of will was the source of power for the green lantern but Parallax saw that the power of fear is greater, and if one can control it, it's power can be ultimate. All of the other guardian disagree with it, but he was determined to prove them wrong, he was later consumed by the power of fear and turned into a monster, they other guardians then sealed him, and later he broke free from the seal by consuming the fear of others. there'll be definitely a part two which i can't wait.
the movie was rather disappointing. too draggy at the beginning, i was hoping for more action / fighting scene. but too much words. fighting scene was cool, but too little i guess.
My Rating:

Kung Fu Panda 2

Genre: Family / Comedy
Story Plot: In KUNG FU PANDA 2, Po is now living his dream as The Dragon Warrior, protecting the Valley of Peace alongside his friends and fellow kung fu masters, The Furious Five. But Po's new life of awesomeness is threatened by the emergence of a formidable villain, who plans to use a secret, unstoppable weapon to conquer China and destroy kung fu. He must look to his past and uncover the secrets of his mysterious origins; only then will Po be able to unlock the strength he needs to succeed.

Funny, as usual, im pretty sure everyone will want to watch this movie, both children and adults. (: it was GREAT, wouldn't say awesome, great i suppose (:
My rating:

I can't believe i missed pirates of the caribbean: on stranger's tide. ): downloaded but it wasn't DVD quality. SAD. sorry i only download DVD quality movie. this means i have to wait. ): AH THE FIRST MERMAID DAMN PRETTY!!!! OMG. hahaha FASTER DVD COME OUT!

GONNA WATCH XMEN ON MONDAY :D EXCITED MUCH!!!! heard it wasn't that good though, but i've watch all xmen movies and it was awesome. (: please don't be a disappointment! (:

I SERIOUSLY CAN'T WAIT FOR TRANSFORMERS! 1st and 2nd movie, totally LOVED it. 3rd, i'm sure it'll be awesome too ! :D

watched the trailer, thai show, a group of school boys wanting to form a band to impress girls. the trailer's funny, wouldn't want to miss this one out!

TRAILER = AWESOME. MOVIE PLEASE BE AWESOME TOO. :D naz said harry potter's lame. SORRY I LOVE TO WATCH HARRY POTTER. AND I'LL DEFINITELY WATCH THIS ONE!

right that's all i guess. (: June holidays SO MANY MOVIES! woop

Chio si bo? but the price Kena Sai. $280SGD but i found cheaper ones $150USD. BORWN ONE. damn expensive loh. waiting for iphone 5. saw some reviews, heard it'll look different from the usual iphone (finally) well i hope it looks totally different. would totally fall in love with it if it is. (: this time round i'm getting an iphone. everyone's laughing at my sony phone. HEY i love my sony phone. hahahah.

VIVI. ANNA SUI

2011-05-30T18:39:00.036+08:00

it's call the stay home monday because i'm sick. in my stomach. think it's one of those gastric problem day, even vomited, yup was that bad, but not as bad as the one i vomited out whatever i in take, which includes water, felt really nauseous the whole day, well thank God it ain't that bad. DIDN'T GO TO WORK. and boss called me asking about money don't balance because i forgot to input the balance amount which the customer will pay another day. SORRY. it's really too many things to remember that i sometimes do forget. SORRY. i really like staying home and do nothing. and i have 3 weeks to do that? after my internship that is. and i still havent found 5 topics for year 3. you think 3weeks will be enough? need enough research to come up with a 5000 word report. 5 or 8, don't remember. was thinking of doing something with feathers. BUT I DON'T KNOW. problem liao. dang. im sure they will reject all 5 topics. screw you. i keep thinking of birds, but how the heck am i gonna do a 5000 word report on birds. it's like doing on mushrooms. LOL. no link. i really have no inspiration on what to do. maybe during the 3 weeks i'll explore singapore, try to get some inspiration. ZOOO AND BIRD PARKKKK. lol. HELP PLEASE! was thinking about doing the joker, like the playing card joker. FUCK LAH, it's all because of the stupid word report, limited choices. i can bull shit my way through, but the one i did last sem on seashell, 3000 gave me a pretty hard time. feathers, maybe those red indians? that'll be cool. just don't understand why must we do 2 collections when we're only gonna show one. waste time.

and i'm online shopping like crazy.

got this second hand shirt. 8$ like a cool only.

this pair of shorts, love the patterns $36.69 (taobao spree. from http://taiwansprees.webs.com/)

something you don't see everyday, a unique colour combination. $29.43 (taobao spree. from http://taiwansprees.webs.com/)

well pair it off with a dark denim shorts is enough. (: $10.55 (taobao spree. from http://taiwansprees.webs.com/)

Leggings for $16.07 which i havent really thought of what to wear with it. but im sure i'll be able to match it with something. hahahah.(taobao spree. from http://taiwansprees.webs.com/)

Black shoes $30.89 (taobao spree. from http://taiwansprees.webs.com/)

my round specs went out of stock. SUPER SAD PLEASE!!!! )))::: looking for similar ones, hard to find. (taobao spree. from http://taiwansprees.webs.com/)

A pair of shorts for $24.30, stocking up on jeans and shorts. i never really like wearing jeans reason being i got a ugly hips, really you don't see it cause im always wearing shorts. BUTBUTBUT!!! i'm so determine to lose fats i'm running almost every day. and of cause, getting rid of my stomach, WILL AND DETERMINATION!! i will get there. before school re opens! (taobao spree. from http://taiwansprees.webs.com/)

$10.74. i know i have flabby upper arms, but i likey the top. and trying hard to lose those flab, but seriously HOW AH. i don't know what to do sia. (taobao spree. from http://taiwansprees.webs.com/)

$12.20 (taobao spree. from http://taiwansprees.webs.com/) i thought that this was cute (:

$9.53 (taobao spree. from http://taiwansprees.webs.com/) this one cause it's pretty ^^ pair it with skinny jeans and a slim fir biker jacket. woooph hot.

$10.26 they had this stripe version, but i already got the strip tank top so i went for the polka dot one. cute. (taobao spree. from http://taiwansprees.webs.com/)

this because i love the colour. $11.95 (taobao spree. from http://taiwansprees.webs.com/)

i'll probably wear this w a white tank top (those with a few buttons in front) accessorize a little, eg rings, and cool shoes. im going for the cool image now. $12.20 (taobao spree. from http://taiwansprees.webs.com/)

$10.72. i kinda see people selling those shirt collars. which are pretty easy to make. and selling it for like 20$ plus? like super ex, but they only come in black and white. haha, like that i also can, any colour, any pattern (provided the fabric has that pattern) and any shap, eg peter pan collar. cool right? (taobao spree. from http://taiwansprees.webs.com/)

$16.07 (taobao spree. from http://taiwansprees.webs.com/)

$13.60, CUTE RIGHT!!! (taobao spree. from http://taiwansprees.webs.com/)

$16.31 i got this cause it's really cute!! couldn't resist! don't know what to pair with, all i can think of is some oversize throwover. (taobao spree. from http://taiwansprees.webs.com/)

$6.12 i'm becoming like ris low. NOOOOO. hahahahaha. leopard preents. but you gotta admit this is pretty. (taobao spree. from http://taiwansprees.webs.com/)

$7.36, blog shop selling at like $25, i only got it for 8 bucks! HAH. spend money also need to know where to spend it at. LOL (taobao spree. from http://taiwansprees.webs.com/)

$8.06 i would wear it with a bow tie instead. (: (taobao spree. from http://taiwansprees.webs.com/)

$12.90 love the colour! (taobao spree. from http://taiwansprees.webs.com/)

Tribal Rope Necklace from http://staticfumes.livejournal.com/. $20

bought two pair of shioes from melissa2ks.

$26.90 (: from http://www.therobotninjas.com/

lace shorts from ashincans.livejournal.com, $25

i love the fingerless glove. don't know where to buy! and love her head wear! Anna sui!

their wallets are so preeeetttyyy, i want one. the brown and cream one, damn chio. i like the cream one but the size i prefer it to be the brown one. small. (anna sui)

i seriously effing love this picture. anna sui.

the other day i was bored at work and they caught me on camera, not that i give a damn. there are like cameras everywhere, but i don't give a shit, i just read VIVI magazine. because there's nothing for me to do and you want me to reprocess (re fold) all the garments to be collected again? slowly dream. i aint doing work that is already done. internship students pay like shit work like dogs. awww, i love june issue of VIVI, WHY SINGAPORE FASHION CANNOT BE LIKE THAT. it's like... when there's one trend, everyone follows that ONE trend and every shops you see sells similar things. boring. yawns.

now where on Singapore do you see girls dressing like this? it's so pretty, i would, if i was more feminine

this i don't mind, but i doubt i can pull it off.

me likey the one on the far left, the knitted long cardigan, perhaps i'll do something similar. TIME TO SHOP FOR FABRICS!!!

IPHONE 5, heard it's gonna be like an iwallet? acts like a wallet lah. that'll be awesome. ezlink, atm cards, credit card, phone, internet. AN ALL IN ONE DEVICE. anythings possible. like credit card/nets, all those credit card machines are plug on right? well i think an iphone can be plug on to. like eg, you pay for your stuff, they have this wire that is connected to the system, just plug in your iphone and sign you're good to go. and for security purpose, when you have to remember your signature, so that if anyone steals they can't use your credit card. so if you have multi cards, it'll be like paypal. cool? I THINK IT'S BRILLIANT, for people like me who doesn't like carrying a bag around. this is all you need. but i doubt it'll happen anytime soon. sigh.

that's all will be updating my blogshop sooooon, like in 5mins (:

(:

2011-05-28T20:26:00.004+08:00

complains, that's all i normally do don't I? hahahaha. well, i must say, yes it's really about doing your best, presenting your best and keeping everything neat and tidy that makes the business run so smoothly. it does give the people feeling good about the place, but i wouldn't really say the same to the people who are working for them. like you say, it's only natural for humans to forget, therefore you have to follow the procedure step by step and not jumping a step. it's my fault for forgetting, but isn't only natural for humans to might have slip one or two steps? i don't really give a shit if my boss reads this. which i think they might have. oh who cares. if i'm unhappy i say it. or even better i show it. example, my boss scolds me, when i know i'm wrong just that i simply forget, my body language shows it. i would show them the, can you just shut the hell up body action. and i kinda guess they understand. no need for words to argue and get enrage over, just simply show them my body language and they will stop after awhile. but not to be utterly rude, i'll just say "okay" well. i doubt i'll be working in a retail store. change of plans, i wanna work for a big ass rich company and slowly, if i can speed things up that'll be great, work my way up. maybe in future i'll open a small shop down in orchard. i don't really know, but i'm guessing if i want to make big $$ i probably won't be working in Singapore. why earn just 1.5k? i'm aiming for a 5 digit monthly pay. super! excited much. just thought of my internship, which kills the mood because i'm only able to end it on the 1st of JULY! OHGOD THAT IS DAMN LONG!!!! cause i need to remodule. and one so happen to be in between my internship. )))::: i don't wanna remodule. but bo bian. knn.

i'm waiting for the day that i'm rich. which will come. and with what i am able bring a light of hope to those in need. which i forgot, as well. oops. if you ask me why do you need so much money for, as long as you live a happy life that's it. but to me, happiness is seeing that big smile on someone else's face when i've done something for them. and i'm not just talking about my friends, but also to people. i guess that's how i want my life to be. i found my purpose, and i will live to it. i don't want to really wanna type down how i feel because i don't want people to think of me as some "act kind" person or trying to make myself sound like a good person. only time will reveal. and i do hope before i die, i'm able to bring a little happiness to as many people as possible. and of cause to myself. TRAVEL AROUND THE WORLD!!!!! WOOOO. looking forward to that.

WHAT IM LOOKING FORWARD IS ALSO, bracesssssssss. i know im saying it alot of time since i was in sec 4? HAHHAHAH. but this time round i die die die die die die wanna put, end of july? internship money plus part time jobbbbb!!!! with the pay coming in, i'll be rushing down to the dentist to get them on before i spend it on SHOPPING. hahahahahah. uh oh. so hard to save money. but i'm trying my best. (: haha, everyone who has read my fortune said my life will be great, and i'll be rich, ain't that awesome? i know. hahahahahahhah! it's not you why should you care right? hahahahahhaha. what else? they also said that i can save money but also im a spender. which i kinda think it's true. i'll save save save then SPEND IT ALLLLL!!! if not money earn for what? you die also cannot bring money with you. one life, LIVE IT! and also I KNOW HOW TO LIVE LIFE! hen hui xiang shou ren sheng. well to me, it's really all about hardwork and spending all that hard earn money because I deserve it!! keep money for what? no money then earn loh!!! hahahha, if i've been fired and no money? find job loh. when there's a will there's a way. i won't leave any money for my kids in future. im only planning to have 2. the lesser the better, but not 1. more money for myself. HAHAHHAH. i mean it's true, education, clothes, food etc. money goes to children, HOW TO ENJOY YOUR OWN LIFE! it's your life not your children's. i'll only leave them the house. one reason being, i want them to learn to value money, and know that money is not easy to come. what you've earn is what you deserve to spend. okay lah also im selfish lah. ahhaha. but really it's all of good intentions, unless they have a life and death emergency then of cause i'll help them. but i really don't want them to grow up showing off that they are rich (when it's the parents that are earning money) and they can get what they want without putting in hard work. because it's really hardwork and determination that will take you far. hehe, oh oh, you curious about my love life???? it's not bad. with a noddings. hahaha. like he was saying not bad and nodding his head. but overall my life will be awesome. that's for sure. i'll make it happen. hmmm. i so wanna shop you know. sian much? and do an industrial piercing, and rook piercing. cool look no? i like. AND GET A TAN! im so fairrrrrr, and after tanning i become fair very fast. WALAN EH. no happy. i wanna keep a cat. meow.

have you ever been afraid to love? love is an emotion that is so hard to control. sometimes you want to say no, but somehow you just say yes. like you know that if you continue, it's wasting of time because you don't think you'll marry him, but in that moment because of love you said yes. but that'll cause more pain in future, won't it? people don't change so easily. and i don't believe it when someone says he/she will change for her just to get them back. okay maybe let your expectations a little loose, but you won't change completely. unless it's like years. well i'm just waiting to see what will happen. of cause i wish them both the best. but one just don't see a future with the other. so why carry on? you love him/her, but do you realise you're gonna hurt that person more in future? i hope your thoughts change a little. only reason why i don't encourage them is because of that, however i do believe that they can be together if both of them are willingly to try together, if one of them don't (which is why i keep insisting them not to be together) just split up. but they seem to be doing fine. my words may be harsh but it has its meaning. love is beautiful. but i don't think i have the right to love, because i'll only be destroying it. i want to love, but i don't want to hurt the other party. i have my expectations. you may say then don't expect. you don't understand. it's not that simple, simply just to tell myself don't expect. i've been trying to tell myself every single time not to expect but my emotions can't be control. it's very very very hard. that's what i meant by my heart and head thinks very very differently. i still have yet to control my emotions. ): sad face. which is why i'm afraid of going into a relationship. i'm afraid of hurting him with my expectations. when when i don't get what i want, i get angry and start an argument over it. it's something i need to learn. no expectations. but i really don't know how. and other thing is i can't love someone for more than a year plus. which i really hate most about myself. ohwell. life will be awesome. YES.

so many personal stuff. because my life is boring. internship and part time job. nothing interesting happened, YET.

taking the blame.

2011-05-23T20:45:00.006+08:00

i don't know why but i'm always taking the blame of someone else's mistake. but it's aint those really major mistakes. so i just tolerate loh. just don't like them nagging at me at the same thing over and over, when i purely forgot, you don't have to nag at me what i need to do, because i know, it's just that i merely forgot about it at that moment. i'm a human, not a robot. don't get mad at my small mistake, it's not as though i made you lose millions of dollars, or your stupid waygu beef. think i spelt that correctly, it's some expensive beef. unlike you, i do not hold grudges, i do not make small matters look as though it's a really big problem. i'm not like that i simply, let it go. but it kills my mood for awhile. NEVER MIND, candies/ice cream are valerie's best friend. sometimes. LOL. well work has been ehhh, how should i put it, well it's not my thing i guess. yamagawa, my manager isn't around, his in japan, coming back on the 20 plus? don't come back better ah!!! hahahah, wait don't come back i no money take, knn. which reminds me, well i kinda don't wanna live that long, like until 50 years old? live so long for what? BUT, if im not mistaken, if i die before i can get my CPF money, the money goes to the government ? NOOOOOOO. it's my money!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! so i bo bian must live till i'm 65, take my money first then die. HHHAHAHHAHAAHAHAHAHHA. well i'm really giving my best in both work areas, yes they say im a fast learner, i take initiative in doing things without being told, yes i'm reliable. they can even tell the others to be like me (so bhb) and yet they still want more out of me. what more do you want? tell me? i'm giving you my 100% you expect me to give 200%, you think i some magician? do so magic to surprise you? you're asking too much of me, which makes me hate what i'm doing. and in turn i don't wanna give my best. stop asking and you'll see the best of me. sorry i'm not a perfect human. neither am i a robot. i can be the best among the best or i can be the worst you've ever seen, it all depends how you treat me. you can have your expectation, but if you're grooming me to be like you? sorry that ain't happening. i don't like it when someone makes a mistake, you have to ask me to come over to listen to your nagging to them. did i make that mistake? i didn't, am i doing a good job? yes i am, because i don't make alot of mistakes. it benefits me? no? it kills my mood. because i don't like people nagging at me.

today the most nagging, i was like for 10mins, she made it sound as though i was late for 1hour. and i knew she wasn't happy. as compared to the first few days, my performance is getting from bad to worse, because i totally dislike my internship. and i forgot to let one of the part timer know that i haven't keyed it in yet. so the data when she printed the hard copy had some errors. and nagged at me saying i should update before sms-ing the customer to collect. it was so busy, everyone was using the mac, it's only natural for humans to forget about it until some time later. again, i didn not make you lose millions of dollars or rich customer or spoil the garment. if i didn't update JUST TELL ME AND I'LL UPDATE IT. it's only fucking updating! if it's not updated then just update it, just tell me i didn't do it. why must you tell me off? wtf? i know it's my wrong for not updating. and i even made sure all of today's record was keyed in. -.- still not satisfied? go hire superman. and garment folding, you think can just fold nicely is enough? NO, got technique one, you have to fold a certain way. i literally rolled my eye. place inside the bag, also got placement one. so what if looks nice? if you pull it out and it's not stacked properly, it's not considered as a good job. and i made sure every garment was folded nicely into the bag, whatever needs to steam, steam it. now you think i'm a good worker right? no im not. she skype saying she told me and the other part timer she already told me and her to process the clothes. you know how mad i was? I DID EVERYTHING, I CHECKED YOUR BLOODY SYSTEM, I STEAMED THE BLOODY GARMENTS, I FOLDED EVERYTHING NEAT AND NICELY, you got bloody hell so many camera's around your shops for what fuck? display ah? you want me help you decorate it? FUCK YOU. and i had to take out the garment and fold it AGAIN. and she said black garment don't iron direct, might leave don't know what lah. KNN. i steam the black pants on the ironing board, the iron base wasn't even touching the damn fucking garment. isn't the same as you hang it against the wall and steam it? ISN'T IT? im just putting on the board because the iron is heavy! and i have to lift it above my head. seriously? still ask me to work as part time after my internship? i thought im not good enough why are you asking me? i will just say no. im honest and straight forward, if she asked me why? i'll just say, i don't want to be pressured by your expectations. i'm new i make mistakes, don't make it sound as though the mistakes are damn fucking serious. stop asking more out of my best. i keep your shop clean at all times, i smile at customer, i pin customer's garment, i ask for work when i have nothing to do, i handle customer's quries, i check finished garments, although at times i may reach late, it's not as though it's the peak hour, can't you just close one eye? because when im late i make sure i will make up for that number of mins im late. i steam the garments before putting it in the bag. i make sure all loose thread are trimmed off even though it's not that area to alter. what more do you want? i'm already doing everything im suppose to do. what more? you're asking so much until i don't feel like giving my best in what i do. so fuck it, after 8weeks. bye. no more. i'm not gonna work there in future anyway.

people always expecting more and more out of others. when will they realise it's more than enough. well i guess it's more for bosses? stop pushing people to give beyond their ultra best, because it will make them feel the displeasure and pressure from you. i'll no longer keep my silence when you push too hard. aiyah, go like i say hire superman, batman, ultraman, teletubbies! hahahahahahahhaha.
oh and she asked me and ade to read some shitty thing about their shop. like closing, what to do in the shop, and opening. EVERYTHING I KNOW ALREADY. i feel like crushing the paper and throwing it in her face and tell you I KNOW, you don't believe? TEST ME. when she gave me that paper i was so fed up, so that's how you see of me? why don't you read through and tick what i've been doing for the past two weeks without being told by you? of cause opening and closing it's not my business. i did and do everything. and still can ask me to read through it? seriously. i don't like it. i don't like her not seeing all the effort and initiative i put in what i do. and when i don't, sorry i don't think i should continue. people like you who sort perfection are stupid. you think highly of yourself you never put yourself in others shoes, everything has to be your way in what you call "perfection". it's just bullshit. after 8 weeks? don't expect me to come back. im sure there are places who love people like me. bye. chu~

somehow it just makes me so angry and also makes me feel that im not good enough when i already am good enough. just want to cry it out. i won't question life.

where does your passion lies?

2011-05-07T12:03:00.005+08:00

reasons as to why i don't want monday to come so soon:
1) internship, $4/hour zzzz, i rather look for a part time office job for 2months.
2) kickboxing, 10 session every tuesday 7pm to time unknown
3) work 3 times a week 6pm to 1030pm
4) the only day i can really take a break from is on sunday
5) i need to find days where i don't have anything on after intern and jog my fats away. AHH GAINING WEIGHT, not funny.

yah i couldn't sleep last night because i'm wondering about life. like some people do jobs that doesn't involve alot of risk. example, an office job, start a family, buy a nice house, have a family car, go on holidays. or be a banker, i heard bankers earn alot lohhh. seesh, i also want money! money's my best friend. hahaha. they say diamond is a girl's best friend, honestly, i don't like diamond, not say don't like but not very interested. weird i know. and it makes me wonder, do they do it because they are interested in it and have a dream to be a wealthy banker? or aims to be a boss of a company? or they're doing just for the sake for having a good life? in terms of money. not their passion. are they really happy in what their doing? or are they just afraid to take a big risk?

and in turn, it made me remember something important. when i decided to be a fashion designer when i was 17, i never gave a thought to whether it was just an sudden interest that won't last. because im the type of person that will take interest in something and loss it fast. my impulsive interest and excitement made me not think of that issue, is it what i really want to be or was it just an interest that will last for a short while? i thought it was all about just designing of clothes and sewing the garment out. i didn't know about pattern drafting or all the other shit. when i started off at year 1, i didn't really liked any modules, which includes fashion design module, why? because not only do you need to do 40 designs, you still need to do colour, fabric, trend and theme research. i didn't attend classes, my grades wasn't that great, i even failed a few modules. however i'm the type who doesn't give up halfway. which i wanted to, but my character was what that kept me going. then i decided to work harder for the sake of my grades to be better, i did enjoy it. the effort i put in and the results i got, i was satisfied. until yesterday i realised it wasn't the passion to be a fashion designer that kept me going, it was just my character. i have forgotten, it's my dream to be a fashion design. how could i have forgotten. instead of telling myself i don't want to fail any modules, i should be telling myself, isn't my dream to be a fashion designer. don't forget. don't lose that interest. even for someone who loses interest very fast can find that one thing that cultivates your interest for a lifetime. and fashion will be that one thing. i've decided on this path, i shouldn't stray away. instead i should cultivate this interest. and i started to cry, because i forgot that one dream that i was aiming for, i wasn't aiming at my dream, i was aiming for better grades.

i've taken a big risk in doing fashion, because it's my passion, and passion is what brings people to do their best. if you don't love your job you won't perform well, in turn you'll progress slower. how long can you last? maybe it's money that makes you want to keep doing, wouldn't you slowly start to dislike your job then? then again with no money problems arise. right? aiyah you watch channel 8 dramas you know what i mean liao! if you don't have a passion start finding, you're never too young to have a dream. and that dream is what keeps you going, wanting to give your best and also gives you a great satisfaction when you achieve great results. if you don't know what to do, start from your interest in certain subject. eg, science, biomedical? nanotech? or POA, banking and finance? or whichever subject you love. if you don't love something you won't give your best. what's life then? if it doesn't bring you happiness on most days. what's life then when you're not doing something you take interest in? once you die, you can't live again, what if there's no such thing as heaven and hell and your soul just goes into darkness like you've gone for eternal sleep. why don't you just die now then? it saves you the hatred, saves you from the hardship you have to go through. if you don't want to die, why don't you just live your dream?

some people may achieve awesome grades but might not do the jobs related. if there's no goals in life, you won't know what you're suppose to do, and you'll be doing things which you find interesting but never really give a thought to whether or not you'll be doing this a lifetime. it's really the passion and future that makes you want to give your best. you don't know what's install for you. as long as you give your best, results will be there. i'm afraid yet excited to see what the future holds, but im sure God will lead me when i'm in trouble. (: hmmm. don't know my mind wondered for 1hour plus -.- that's why i couldn't sleep last night!! haha

so where does your passion lies? be it banking, office, designing, lab work, everyone has different interest. what's yours? and if you have, never forget that dream because it what's drives you to give your utter most best.

fashion.

2011-05-02T22:38:00.004+08:00

and so i did a little revamp on my blog. how is it? cool? aww i haven't been to http://lookbook.nu for quite some time. love their fashion!
so many different styles going on. some of my personal favourites.

so sad that singapore is so damn effing HOT, sometimes, weather wise, if not i'll be wearing lots of layers. any oh how, i've decided to be a little active in my blogshop. *YAY* baseball jacket anyone? i live, eat, shit, drink, pee, jog, breathe fashion. hahahah.

through not so many thanks from the module fashion forecast which i took last year and totally don't remember a single i learnt in class, i kinda feel that baseball jackets will be a hit.. no? so you're saying, you can't wear it out, then wear it in! okay i know that don't make sense, but who cares! wear to your lecture hall! wear it at home! wear it to the mall! wear it in your dog house! wear it to the swimming pool! wear it to the bar! hahahah. oops. okay let's not go any further. im not crazy, i'm just being valerie. haven't been myself for quite some time due to stress. i feel that i think too much, literally. and it makes my stress over little things. resulting in a bad headache, and panadol is starting to have no effect. OH-NO. anyway just one of the few baseball jackets that i've purchased, and it's on its way here YAY, this is my personal favourite. price wise i have to look through again cause not all those jackets are from the same shop.

and it's super duper limited like 2 piece per design cause im not sure if it's sellable. and if it is, there will of cause be a perorder. excited? I AM. cause i purchased ALOT of items,,,, for y own usage. hahahah. SHOPPING HEAVEN... im like stocking up new clothes for year 3 so expect to see me dress like no other because i don't follow the trend over here, i prefer to create my own. (: and yah. i still wanna shopppppp. no money... sian. the money i earn from sales will go to my mom cause she gave me 500 and i spent it on stocks and my own stuff, and i have $280+ don't know go where, must call the bank and ask, damn fed up loh.. i calculate calculate and calculate, im missing money and ibank didn't state it inside. i think i did a purchase from elsewhere and transaction was not successful, so i did a few times before my order got through, and i think my money went to the failed order, so i emailed them and they said they don't credit failed transaction, the bank will credit it back to my account if it does happens... now im only waiting for them to update my bank account statement before i call them up. EEEESH! they better give my money back... IF NOT I WON'T VOTE FOR YOU...which reminds me... the other day, the pap members ah, come to my doorstep and distribute flyers. ask me what i thought about this election, i just told them, im not eligible, so i don't know... i should have just added "and i don't care" which i really don't. it's not as though they'll give my $1000 SGD for voting for him. haha, im pretty sure i gave them sighs like, im not interested please go away, but they don't seem to get my black aura (i was quite pissed) maybe i should draw my eyebrows more black hor? then they get it. and also they said that he will personally help out family, im like, you know how many hundreds and thousands of people you're gonna help anot? help me? i still need to queue and wait my turn HOR!
aiyah don't waste time lah, just vote for me..

vote for me and i'll give you FREE ICE CREAM!! lol. it's comfort food okay, do the other electors give you comfort food, NO THEY DON'T. LOL.
joke only ah. haha, i typed pap on google cause i was looking for the election thingy image so that i can paste my face, but that picture above is the best and i photoshoped it. the wonders of photoshoppppp hahahah my banners, i used photoshop as well. a very useful software. ohyah back to i typed pap, and my results? pitures of the vagina. i think it's some infection. idk didn't really went to investigate further. lol.

yupo, im super free, except im working part time, and im looking for an internship. hopefully i made it in to the alteration shop. (: fingers cross!

HELLOOOO LONG HOLIDAYYYYY

2011-04-28T12:15:00.015+08:00

shiok bo, holiday until aug 1. HAHHAHAHAHA...... so happy yesterday. so happy now. and i'll still be happy after. hahahahahah. i've been discipline-ing myself like fuckkk only. because if you know valerie, i'm the type who follows my emotions, when i should be following my head... BUT this time round, i manage to convince my heart to DO PROJECTS! as much as i don't feel like doing, not because i'm lazy but because i just don't want to do it right now, i have to. so i kept telling myself, i have to do it if not i won't have the time to complete it. basically everyday for 1month+++++ i don't rememeber how long it was, all i know is it was damn long. long before my birthday also, the only break i took was on my birthday. where i really let myself have a nice break. everyday go home do projects, days where i didn't have school the next day, i stayed up till 3am to 4am just to complete as much as i could. okay not every week. fine it's just two weeks before submission. but i manage to finish it the day before assessment, 9.30pm. suppose to sleep at 10, but my body clock was so used to sleeping at 3, 4am, i couldn't sleep until 2plus 3. -.- the next day i was feeling tired plus i had work later -.- assessment went okay except my customer profile, i had alot of typo errors, and they just had to make a big fuss over it -.- my mistake for not reading it through before printing it out. but hello, this is not an english module? if i remember correctly, im taking fashion design not english courses. -.- omg. at least they said they see my effort in it. cb they don't see my effort i'll show them my fist. i did everything until swee swee some more.

i even went to computerized the pattern making information sheet. just to make everything neat and presentable.

my children's wear. i love the ribbon ^^ bought it at spotlight. ^^

the thickness of my children's wear. i remember vik showed us an example of a students children's book about the same thickness as mine, and i remembered saying this "walan eh, so thick and he expects us to complete everything in less than 3 weeks? he fucking siao bo? this person also another siao kia please, no friends, everyday go home do project only, cb i cannot one" hahahahah what happened in the end? EVERYDAY GO HOME DO PROJECTS LOH! when people asked my out i'll always say not free. moreover im working 3 times a week. hui mian says im some superwoman. lol like what i said to leah, wo shi chao ji ren, and she'll always correct me, it's chao ren, what chao ji ren. ahhahaha.

inside. i love the feather bonding, damn pretty hor??? (((::::::: shall do some handmade bag, wallets out of this idea and sell. good idea? and the pockets, i wanted to do cute stitches but eliza (my sewing teacher) said i couldn't use the machine if there's no teacher around. ): so i had to print on transparency.

my mens wear sketch book. cool no? i used my old belt. initially i wanted to head down to far east to get a cheap belt. but i was like i don't wanna go town just to buy a belt. i have my projects to do. and im super lazy. so i was on my bed thinking HOW!!!! and suddenly a thought came through my head. why dont i just use my old belt that i never use anymore. TADA. YAY NO NEED GO TOWN. hahahahaha.

cool right, my back ground is black with a little smoky gray, and i even burnt the top and the bottom my the pages.

overall i did alot for this term's menswear and childrens wear. i even put illustration and fabrics for my design development. so hardworking neh, cannot take it. that is why im so mother effing happy when assessment was OVER.

hahah the only problem i had was my market research, which i should have just flip through fast. and customer profile. the colour of my illustration -.- like seriously?

eg the white areas, wrongly placed, they liked my illustration, however they thought the white parts was unnecessary. oh you should tell that to gary then, he's the one that thought us to leave a few black spots to make it look 3D. hohohohoho. or maybe i just placed it on the wrong areas. oh well. don't give a shit.
my technical flat the pants stitches abit wrong. what else? my garment...

my harley davidson design. okay fine it's vik's design. again. lol. i wanted to do a biker vest. but he said it'll be too hard and drew a design of his own.. and went... why can't you draw like this,, then add here,,, okay you edit from here.. im like what.. okay just go with your loh. hahahah. and he nagged at me saying that he told me not to use this fabric but i die die wanna use. i told him. no i didn't even show you my fabric. he said yes i did. in my head i was like FINE i let you say, okay loh, you win loh, after this 3 months holiday i don't argue with you, you king lah hor everything you say is right. hahahhahaa. my image fit harley davidson hor??!!!! hahaha. each person was only given 10mins to present but i think i took 15mins. cause by the end of 10mins i didnt even open my children's wear project. i just ended my mens wear, i thought i could leave, but they said they wanted to see my childrens wear sketch book. and only two things they complain, the image taken off the web is copy righted, i cannot do prints on web images, im like okay okay. and my illustration colour. that's it. i should get at least a C or a B, if i get a D, i will seriously rent a car and bang vik down. HAHAHA, imagine vik dies tomorrow (touch wood) i'll be the first suspect sia. hahahha. aiyah vik may nag alot but i think he knows alot, therefore we learn alot. i don't mind him teaching year 3 loh, cause i prefer the teacher to nag at me, so that i learn. im more in the serious mood to do things right. i mean when the teacher is nice, they tell you nicely, im not in the mood to do their things seriously, i'll just be llike, okay loh if abit wrong,,, nevermind lah.. just submit. when the teacher's harsh, i'll be more serious in my work, i want to make everything neat and nice. don't know lah. who cares i got 3 months of holiday!!
okay assessment, once you're done presenting, you can leave, but yesterday debra wanted to speak to us so we had to stay until everyone has finished. damn sian. know what she said to us? pick 5 topics for year 3, do research and show it to her. that's all. im like wtf??!!!!! give me a gun so that i can shoot her down.

eh, have you ever met someone who thinks that they are high and mighty and you're just a piece a shit? i've never until i started working. one incident made me real mad. 3 customer, one of them gestured at his sake glass while talking to his other two friends. i didn't know what he wants, so i asked "sorry?" he didn't look at me and say a word he just continue talking to his two friends. i gave a puzzled face and just stood there, until one of his friends pointed at the sake bottle. and then i get what he wanted. he wanted me to pour sake into his glass. my face from (: to _I_-.-_I_ . i poured i didn't make a big fuss over it. i just walked away and complain to my friend. seriously? and he didn't even look at me to say thank you he just continue talking to his friends. im like wtf? you think you some mother fucking emperor ah, and im your servant ah. i know it's my duty to pour sake/beer if i see the cup is empty. but what's with that fucked up attitude. cb buy the cheapest sake only, you damn high and mighty why don't just buy the most expensive one lah. what you liked that among all the other sake ah? it thought more expensive the sake the better it taste? so what you like cheap stuff ah? KNN. CUM LAN PLEASE. you gesture one more time i will go to the stupid mode.. what? you want me smash the sake bottle in your face ah? okay. *SMASH* the mother fucking sake is some more poured in a small bottle so that they can pour easily and it's less than one arm length away from him. CB SIA. i think i will really punch his face if i cannot ren. CB SIA. it's not like i don't know this kind of person exist, i know. but won't you get angry as well? knn sia. i know im a nice person, but ah you step on my tail i make sure i'll punch your mother fucking face. test me. though you have to really do something that makes me boiling mad cause i have a very high tolerance. but im pretty sure i'll show you my fist if i cannot control myself. i know that once i lose control i won't think of the consequences. regret? maybe a little, but i'll get over it. tsk. may your body be ripped apart and your soul burn in hell, for all of eternity.

OKAY, HOLIDAY!!! hahahaha.

i only show kindness to those i know doesn't look at my kindness as though it's a natural thing everyone should do for them. and they don't appreciate it at all. i know who you are, the only reason i show kindness to those who doesn't appreciate me is because that's just who i am, but just wait a little longer, i'll be sick and tired of you and i won't show anymore kindness because i lost the interest in giving it to you.

zzz

2011-03-23T13:15:00.007+08:00

hello world of stress, hello dear projects that is suffocating me, hello my sweet little datelines that are coming up, hello my charming quizzes that i'll face upon the week after and the next, hello to the many things i need to memorise in my workplace, most of all, I WELCOME YOU, MY SLEEPLESS NIGHTS THAT IS COMING UPON ME AS WE SPEAK. ZOOOOOM. i shall make it out alive and in one piece. OMGGGGGGG. i'm writing down all the things i need to do before week 14 (submission week) and guess what it's week muther effing 10. -.- one month what still got time, dey one month still not enough kthxbye. pattern drafting, i okay with it, leah hates it, i used to hate it, but once you get the hang of it you'll be A OKAY! which reminds me, i have a drafting test on monday. FML. which means on top of redrafting my final outfit and to draw out the final pattern, i have to draft out two other outfit because i was absent on those two days. oh life is great *roll eyes*, i have a ppt presentation which leah and i are to present on the week after next (monday) zzz. Tuesday, fashion designing, the most tedious module of ALL MODULES, HALLELUJAH. i have to do 20 collages (it's basically putting images on your theme onto your model to form an outfit) and i have to redo all the finished of my 80, wait 60 designs, im too lazy to do another 20, and also i have to add design but still make it urban casual. something you can't get outside or everywhere else, but still urban casual. you know what i hate most about this module, it's the damn 80 designs, why? because everything has to be wearable, unique, it cannot be a designer wear kinda thing. you ask me do 30 still okay, but 80? in a short period. please rent a gun and one bullet and pull the trigger, please aim for my head, instant kill. you aim elsewhere and if i ended up in the hospital still alive, i'll shoot you back. zzz. and and CHILDREN'S WEAR! research, market research, colours, fabric, 80 designs and design development. i ask you how to finish, you think i those zai kids ah, no life, everyday go home do projects -.- plus mock up of shirt and pants, AND THE FINAL OUTFIT. there's this girl who did 3 mock ups, im like WTF, you serious? i haven't even started on my mock up -.- it's not the end of my miserable life, have to complete the weaving (which i will do so on thursday), do presentation boards for computerized class, design a skirt through some software, which i totally blurred out, but somehow i know i'll make it through it because i'll just play around with the system and somehow found the damn thing which i need to use. and yah that's it, i'm okay with everything i know i can finish, it's the children's wear that im more concern, it may look like wow, that's not alot, it ain't, trust me. research alot takes up alot of time. and the design development. 1 month is not enough. BIRTHDAY, BYEBYE! can't celebrate this year? well i've already planned out my schedule (i realised im a person who plans out things, i can't do without a plan because i'll forget, well not for outings, more for projects, i like to plan my time.) im a messy yet somewhat organized person, contradicting right? hahhahaha, messy yes, i just dump my things everywhere, but when i have the time, i'll pack up the whole house WITHOUT THE HELP OF MY BROTHERS! zzzz.

and time to TALK not complain about my workplace. HELLO MY BRAIN ISN'T LIKE SUPEEERRRR okay, i need time to absorb and learn. it's only my 5th day, don't expect me to know everything. wah i cannot take it when they say "you're studying now so you should be smarter, thus learn faster" im a learner, i love to learn new things, but have it ever occur to your mind that i have projects i need to attain to? dont expect me to take out the menu and start studying it because i don't have the time. the only time i can learn is when im working. which is every tuesday, thursday and friday, 6pm to 1030pm. i will learn, provided i have the time. i forget, because im human, not a computer. have you seen how many bloody pages are there in your menu? 25. and it's not like one set meal is to one page. -.- on top of that there is a buffet menu, WOW how awesome. okay fine so they say they dont want me to learn the menu first, learn the basic, yeah sure, okay, but still I DO FORGET. esp writing of orders, im used to writing in my own ways, give me some time to do it. and also, it's like i want to do something, but they're so afraid i might do it wrongly and thus just take what im doing and do it, the only thing they aint worried about is when i refill green tea ----> you see this face -.-""""""""" yah one of the days i kena from the manager loh, im so used to saying boss, which i heard he didn't like, so yah the MANAGER, he said like dont just stand there do your work, im not paying you to do nothing. im like, you blind of something, what's there for me to do when all of them all doing what im suppose to do. of cause i abit bu shuang, but heck loh, if im the boss i'll say the same thing. oh and i heard the restaurant got spy camera, see if you got slack anot. wtf? IT'S OKAY, im only working for 5 months, 12 days a month. DOTS, i tell you yesterday i was really damn tired, my bag was full, im carrying about handbag which has my laptop (heavy piece of metal) and my sketchbook which weighs 10000000000kg. plus i had school since 9am, 12noon end class, 1plus started sewing until 5pm and then went down to see leah do the weaving (slacking only) 530pm go to work, not tiring meh? i was slow yesterday because my brain just wanna sleep. you what is sleep? sleep means my head against the pillow, i close my eyes and start dreaming of people i wanna murder. that is call sleep, uh huh, this my shit, all the girls who wanna be like this (is that how the song goes? idk) then yesterday kena again, i really wanna punch someone's face, when you take out a dish from the kitchen you have to strike off the dish on the order form, so i was looking for the dish, and i strike out one only, which suppose to be two for two different orders, then the new guy took the dishes out, wasnt me, and served, to one table, when it was suppose to be for two different tables, in the end the person who worked there like forever (3years) said it's one for the counter, the new guy said it wasn't on the order form, then the person who worked like forever asked me to go to the kitchen and pointed out that there was, i kena. at that point i really wanna punch her face. nvm i wont be seeing her anymore, she's leaving. i tried to be friendly with her cause she didn't talk to me, she gave me the wth face. so be it, go fuck yourself. i can be nice, only to who i wanna be, push me over my tolerance limit, and i'll show you what's one hell of a scolding/ lecture. don't know why i always kena scolding for nothing, what do i do? just diam diam loh, i give you scold, it's not that im timid or scared of them, i just don't want to cause any commotion, it's not worth being angry over imbeciles. unless it'a a big matter then yes. if not just say okay okay okay loh. zzz. nvm REN only.

TOODLES.

hmm

2011-03-20T14:47:00.013+08:00

i know i have tons of work to do, but im just lazing around. procrastinating, OKAY shall start sewing after blogger k. wooo MAY HURRY COME, wait, vacation = no vacation. zzzzooooppppp. because i have attachment and have to take up one SAS (2days, 8 hours each day), 2 modules i need to clear, Fashion Design Basic 2 and Pattern Making Basic 1, 2weeks in total, i am not looking forward to intensive seeing of Chew han lim and gary's face. -.- 8 hours a day. oh my god. and and if possible, im taking up one elective, which means i clear everything i need to clear, just concentrate on my year 3. (: AND IM WORKING TOO. OHMYGOD, im gonna die. -.- IM WORKING AT i shall not name the place in case you wanna see me. my uniform sucks.

see what did i tell yah. chui to the max, look like some maid please. -.- the old uniform is just plain green top and black pants and a green apron, that's it, so much more classy which fits the stall's image. the food here is EXPENSIVE loh. one dish can cost 20plus, bento can cost up to 88$ sashimi cost, eh, damn expensive. -.- buffet more worth, $35+++ for lunch, $38+++ for dinner. you can eat alot then why not? it's fresh. though i never really tried their food, im always smelling like food at the end of the day, cannot take the smell. lol. but not too bad, im being paid 8 an hour (which is a dollar higher than my admin work) lol. 8 not bad okay, only work 4.5hours, 3 days work, tuesday thursday friday. i rather the place be busy, then time will pass by fast yah. what's even better, all chinese speaking. ZZZZ. okay so i can improve my chinese, I THINK. but it's all basic chinese which i can obviously handle. MY CHINESE NOT F9 OKAY! D7! LOL. im suppose to get a C6! like just pass only, zzz. yah i'll be working until July i guess? i'll continue if only i can handle school as well. perhaps another month or something. see how things goes.
I SO WANNA TATTOO,, "Ausdauer" which means perseverance in German and "exultant" which means happiness in english. lol. one on each wrist. cursive and looks classy. and change of hair style

hehe, but i'll do that long long later, need to lose some fats on my face, hahahah. (:
and i wanna keep a tarantula, like a cool only.

this is how im gonna celebrate my birthday..
1) im gonna bake fruit tarts (w/o the fruits, i just love the tarts and cream) the day before, so that when i wake up the next day i can eat it in the morning, what a sweet way to start my day :D perhaps i'll make 20. (: cause im turning 20, no biggie, 21 then it's a big deal. 20 is like, im so far from 18 which is the legal age for almost everything, 20 GOD IM SO NEAR 21 WHICH IS THE LEGAL AGE FOR EVERYTHING. i think, now they're changing it to 23 is it? like seriously? wtf?
2) i am going for a Hot stone massage
3) go home and nap
4) perhaps ask some people out for dinner or not cause everyone's busy.
5) if 4 does not work out, i'll probably rent some CDs the day before to watch, or look at some cds and go home and download 3days before. hahahahahah. *looks at all the CD shops and thinks to myself* why buy CDs when i can download it for freeeeeee. HAHHAHAHAHHA.
6) mom probably will buy me a birthday cake. (:
7) get a rook piercing on my left ear.
8) buy new ear rings for all my piercings
9) go drinking? maybe see if they want to (: if not i'll walk to henderson wave and look at the stars.
10) home sleep like a pig.

IT'S LIKE A ALL TO MYSELF DAY. amanda still can ask me, you not gonna celebrate your bd????!!! im like, isn't that celebrating? HHAHAHAHHAHA. aiyah, i just really want to relax on my birthday, haven't have a nice break in like the longest time ever. ): yeah...

what's your horoscope?

2011-03-06T14:34:00.003+08:00

do you believe in horoscope personality? i do, to a certain extend, we do posses certain qualities of your own horoscope, am i right to say that? although not everything is true but certain part of it do. and guess what? Leah told me they discovered a 13th sign Ophiuchus. due to the change in the earth rotation.

Capricorn: Jan. 20-Feb. 16.
Aquarius: Feb. 16-March 11.
Pisces: March 11-April 18.
Aries: April 18-May 13.
Taurus: May 13-June 21.
Gemini: June 21-July 20.
Cancer: July 20-Aug. 10.
Leo: Aug. 10-Sept. 16.
Virgo: Sept. 16-Oct. 30.
Libra: Oct. 30-Nov. 23.
Scorpio: Nov. 23-29.
Ophiuchus: Nov. 29-Dec. 17. (Yep, this one is new — read all about the Ophiuchus way of life here)
Sagittarius: Dec. 17-Jan. 20.

Read more: http://newsfeed.time.com/2011/01/13/horoscope-hang-up-earth-rotation-changes-zodiac-signs/#ixzz1FnasTo3v

and the new horoscope personality is said to be:
The Good Side
The Ophiuchus loves to seek change in their life. They hate the mundane routine in their everyday life. They tend to get very impulsive and will follow their guts, even if they tend to get it wrong most of the time. These people are happy people who love to have fun. They are a tad too honest. These people are described as intellectual and clever beings. The Ophiuchus tends to think with their hearts not their minds. These people are intensely passionate. The Ophiuchus personality traits shows these people are very creative and imaginative and love to feed their curiosity. They can be called as human magnets. This is because they rank really high in the charisma quotient. These empathic beings can easily pursue people once they turn on their charm along with their knack of persuasion. They are motivated with their sense of justice and can be called a bit eccentric. They are lovers of art and language. As I have already mentioned they are are passionate beings for whom the art of lover comes quite naturally. They do not like any kind of restrictions, rules or authority over them. They want to live life on the edge and want to succeed in whatever path they choose. Do not talk senseless, irrelevant things to an Ophiuchus. They hate it and want detailed information, not trivial bits. They are proud people who tend to be a bit arrogant. So, keep telling them they are the best, the numero uno and they will eat out of your hands. Never ever treat a Serpentarius zodiac sign as an inferior or subordinate. They love to seek the unknown and gather new wisdom. They are a bit secretive and tend to take a defensive stand when challenged. They are also not a very popular being on the social circuit due to their arrogance and pride. They can be called the apple of the eye for their parents when young. They are flamboyant beings that shows even in their dress sense.

The Bad
These people have a jealous streak in them. As they tend to get bored with the daily routine, it comes as a no surprise that they find it very hard to have a monogamous relationship. These people think with their heart and therefore tend to get judgmental too soon. They are restless beings as they are forever seeking new wisdom and tend to get a bit irresponsible. They are masters of procrastination and can have violent temper tantrums, that fortunately are short lived. Although they are humorous beings, they tend to have a sarcastic sense of humor. This makes them a bit unpopular on the social circuit. These people tend to have only those things around them that they feel are useful. Unfortunately, they apply the same thought when it comes to having friends or relations around them.

and imma aries, i'm proud to call myself an aries, but if the do change, imma Pisces. serious?

it looks like two dead fish please. omg.
Ruled by new age Neptune and fortunate Jupiter and with a feminine (receptive) nature, Pisces is reactive in its energy. A Mutable (changeable and communicative) sign, dreamy Pisces is the exaltation of Venus, the goddess of love and artistic sensibility.
It is a Water (emotional and compassionate) sign and you, the Piscean, are creative, sensitive and deeper than you appear on the surface, although you can be emotionally vulnerable, clinging and rather melancholic.
now, which part of me fits a pisces? now nothing of me fits a pisces. im so a mother fucking aries, well not all aries. I FOUND OUT MY MOON SIGN. imma Capricorn!! hahahahah, i always thought Capricorn was a Leprechaun, until that very day when Leah talked about horoscope then did i realise it wasn't. HAHAH. and i didn't know Sagittarius exist. HAHHA, sorry lah i don't follow the horoscope also, like i said i only follow it to a certain extend. okay fine to a small extend. and i'm.... Serious, responsible, cautious, organized, ambitious. Likes order, appreciates social status, hates irresponsibility and sloppiness. ---> so trueeeeee. and whatever they say so on sound so negative, NO NOT ME. HAHAHHAHAH.

i know i should be doing my work but..... imma so lazy. i'm left with scanning all three books, editing it. change the market research. put all my documents neatly, which means lots of editing, and mind map and customer profile. don't sound alot right? but it's really time consuming. PLEASE LET NEXT WEEK END QUICKLY!! (:

single hood FTW

2011-03-05T12:03:00.014+08:00

Pictures are from weheartit.com thanks leah for introducing this site, i really love some of their pictures

i have to keep telling myself, why single hood is still the best
1) you have your own freedom
2) you can do what you want
3) you don't have to text the same person everyday.
4) you're happy every single day
5) you don't have to worry about having your heart broken
6) you don't have to get mad when someone promises you something but in the end don't do it, because the person is not like your lover.
7) you don't expect anything
8) you can jokingly say "i love you" to people.
9) you can hug people (not like i like you hug lah, just a hug, sorry im a hugger, i love to hug)
10) you don't have to spend money on him
11) you don't get disappointments.
12) you can go round looking at cute and handsome guy and go "omg did you just saw that guy, he is so cuteeee" to your girlfriends. not that you're interested in him, you just find him cute.
13) im only 20, for me to find a guy is easy. why? because i know what to say and what to do for a guy.
14) im so busy with school and friends.
15) no restrictions.
16) more money for myself.

just like what a friend of mine posted - money doesn't bring happiness, it brings crazy ass happiness. hehehehhehe. money makes the world go round. not to say that being in a relationship sucks. i know how it feels and trust me, single hood is way better. okay fine, sometimes i secretly yearn to have a boy, buttttttttt, nahhhh. my heart is still too afraid to love. awww. i'll only love someone who shows me he's worth my everything, and he's unlike the others. and there are reasons as to why i don't want to love. okay fine, i sort of tried talking to someone, however it turned out like crap. and the whole conversation was so fucking lame, thanks to the ideas of SOME people. HAHAHHAH, omg laughing when i read the whole conversation again can't believe i sent that, any-o-how, his reply was obviously "please fuck off". the only reason why i sent was because everyone encouraged me too. GUESS WHAT THE MOTHER FUCK I SENT "hi (: saw your profile picture at the side bar, it says to reconnect w you. how's your day?" dude, i don't understand why i let naz talk me into typing that. maybe too much blood rushing to my head, ps i was blushing, for a very long time. his reply was just telling me how he battled to stay awake but always failed. then came my intuition. his kindly telling me to fuck off. but you know you just want to talk a little to confirm that theory. so i tried talking, i asked two questions he only answered one. his replies was one basically one sentence. i read between the lines, and it is very very fucking obvious he is saying fuck off. it would be nice if he had ask how was my day, out of courtesy. okay then i don't know why i followed kim's advice and all the other idiots who encouraged me to continue talking even though he didn't reply to my "lol. okay. hmm" kim was saying some guys are really dumb, she had to talk to wc everyday, he's is like wc. and i kept telling her, maybe, but my gut feeling is telling me since the beginning he is not interested. and another idiot asks me to follow my heart, hahahahaha, i went like my heart says it's not worth it, my intuition says don't do it. NOW WHY DIDN'T I JUST FOLLOW WHAT MY INTUITION SAYS. WHY!! so i asked how was his day again, thanks to idiots who asked me to. hours later i felt like a fucking despo. and i panicked. and spammed some asses phone to tell that guy to not read the message and just delete everything. and it took forever for him to reply me, i couldn't wait so i just send him a message, i was being honest, i told him how lame the start was, and how a fucking despo image i portrayed at the end. it's just not me. and also asked him to delete everything. i didn't even bother to say "let's restart" because it's really not worth me spending energy trying to get someone to like me. nah i won't regret it, better ones are to come. (: all he says is "no worries, everything erased" i wanted to send "_I_" it's like i really made an effort okay, it took me alot of courage to just send one bloody cocked up message and this is what i get. i'm not those type of girl who will just sit there and try to talk to him, because that's just not me, i'll just play it cool and walk away, if i can't have you, then that's just to bad for me, i won't cling on to you and beg you to show some interest in me. people should learn to walk away from situations that does not welcome them, why be dishearten? just tell yourself better ones are to come. oh and i just send in a ":)" was i pissed off? yes i was, i mean can't you be more nice? but i didn't want to look like some immature brat who doesn't think before she acts. so it's nicer to put a smiley face even though i didn't want to. let's just face it, imma nice person. HAHAHHAHAHAHAAHHA. and which reminds me, i told donovan about it, idk why, maybe cause he never fails to make me laugh. all he text was "HAHAHHAHAHHAHAH. that's fucking lame! and darn funny" which in turned made me laugh and thought how fucking lame it was too. i asked him how, he told me to dig a hole and put my head in it. lol. aiyah, i know some people find it too embarrassing to post it on the blog for public's view. but i got over it and thought the whole incident was funny, so i decided to share! SPREAD SOME HUMOR. just laugh at my face if you have to, because i'll just laugh along with you, unless if im having a bad day. i'll just roll my eyes at you and give you the "are you serious" face. hehehhehehe. it's good to be me, i can never be sad for too long cause imma always looking on the bright side of life. (: wait was thinking if he could read between the line of my smiley face, that it's really not a smiley face, maybe i should have just put (_I_: to make it obvious. HAHAHAHHAHAHAH. joke only ah. only remember the good stuff. and valerie does not hold grudges, man i don't feel like a girl, cause girls normally hold grudges, right?

We live in a world built on promises constructed by liars. from http://wordalogy.tumblr.com/ true to a certain extend.
and if you're feeling shitty like me, read fmylife.com love entries, it made me feel better. HAHAHAHHA. laughing at others misfortune.

always looking on the bright side of life.

2011-03-03T16:24:00.012+08:00

i feel much better, definitely, thanks adeline for showing me some care and concern (: thank you for all who encouraged me. im fine now. really. i dont like the idea of giving up. not my style. when i see an obstacle, i face it, and charge straight on. BAM! WHACK, AND OUT I COME FEEL STRONGER! AINT NO MOUNTAIN BIG ENOUGH TO HOLD ME DOWN. expect for people who are 2-10 times fatter/bigger size than me. anwwww. TRIUMH COMPETITION!!! submitted my work. OHGOD THANK GOD IT'S OVER. i honestly don't think i can win. comparing my work to others, i feel so downgraded. ): my sewing ain't that good either. ohwelllll. sob sob. you know what's the suckiest part? submission was to be on tusday, i panicked cause i was not done yet, went to school w no illustration board, inspiration board, only my garment. at the end of the day we had to go down to their office and submit it to them. well, on the bright side, we have one more day to complete, on the other side, FCUK, ANOTHER SLEEPLESS NIGHT TO TOUCH UP ON MY GARMENT THAT WONT STAND A CHANCE AGAINST OTHERS. and my glues sucks ttm. some of my pearls are falling off. ): also there'll be a voting going on. really? i dont really like the idea of voting, why? first of all it's unfair, see what if A's design is plain, not bad, but she has millions of friends because she's sociable and B's design is really WOW, off the roof kinda work, but she has like 1 friend, okay maybe not 1, how about 1.5? hahahah joke joke you get my drift. if voting plays a hugh part, don't you think it'll be unfair? well if you say voting plays 20% or may 10% then, that's fine. i wanna say BUT!!!!! but i don't know how many percent. in any case, voting will be up on the 7th march, will post on the link. would appreciate much if you can kindly vote for yours truly, me. HAHAHAH joke. would be nice that my likes aint as far as all the others, imagine my "likes" 39, and imma like a happy kid, then i see the others, 1,000,000,000 likes. i'll feel like shit. KNN, i straight away call them ask them to take down my garment. so demoralizing. my back hurts, i need a massage ): this triumph thingy is tiring. ): and still must do vik's sketch book plus 80 design by tuesday, it is just me, or do i feel that the lecturers are a little mean? ohwell.

the theme is 125 years of celebrating woman. my concept.

Pearls have lasted for more than a century; femininity should also be the same. The wire used represents the strong structure, in olden history, woman was considered people who are only to stay at home and complete household chores, education was not provided for them as they consider woman to be more inferior compared to man. Pearls represents the history of a woman, from century ago, pearl has already been used as accessories and even garment details. I chose to use pearls not only it brings out the femininity of a woman but also the shine of the pearl and it looks very strong, not easily to be broken. That’s how a woman should be, they shine too, not only man, whatever a man can do, woman indeed can as well. The strong outlook appearance represents that woman, despite our feminine appearance, are also strong. The whole ideal is to give the view of how women should portray themselves, some of us many look weak and fragile, but in actual fact we are as strong as a pearl. Some of us may look strong but still give off the feminine feel. The “Stem” in the mirror shows the growth of a woman. The different sizes of pearls represents the different type of woman, by using pearl, it indicates that no matter how different we may be, we are all still a woman, strong as can be and ever shining. The red silk satin fabric is to create the whole feminine look of a woman. Overall it looks feminine, and the structure gives out another feel to it, that we woman are stronger than what people may think. Celebrating 125 years of woman to me means celebrating how we GROW from being nothing in society to a woman who is able to live their dreams, to show the world that we can be strong and at the same time still have our femininity.

long hor? but they say don't exceed one A4 size can liao. plus i know the english i used abit wrong ah. like keep repeating myself. oops i was really really tired.

looks kinda simple plain and boring right? DUDE I ONLY SPENT LITTLE AMOUNT TIME DOING IT, cause i was like. SIAN anyhow do liao, damn tired.

Inspiration board.

one week tutorial cant even take a break. the next 7weeks is gonna be hellllll. and i realised 1MONTH5DAYS more till i turn 20!!! 20 isn't old. the big 2!! i'll be treated more like an adult than a kid. i think. nah. hahha, 20! im still like a kid. whoop. i should act my age, but being serious is so boring. LOL. i prefer to be 21, means i can go to R21 MOVIES, i can sign a plan, i can go inside casinos! MOST IMPORTANTLY, I DONT HAVE TO LET MY PARENTS SIGN CONSENT FORM FROM THE SCHOOL, pathetic right? shouldn't it be, students under the age of 18 should let their parents sign a consent form if the school organise a class trip? MY SCHOOL IS, student below the age of 21! can you believe it? they don't see us as young adults, we are like primary school kids, what's next they want us to hold our partners hand and line up two by two and walk in a straight line?

OH, and also, reasons as to why valerie lin jinjuan life sucks at the moment:
1) triumph made me lose alot of sleep, thus my eyes are a little puffy.
2) I GREW BIGGER, thanks samuel. you motivate me to run everyday (okay that's a good thing)
3) VIK's sketch book and 80 designs are making me panic, bang the wall and die. (i don't know what english is that, but i just felt like saying it.)
4) i'm broke thanks to triumph, i spent nearly 150$, to think that i can win.
5) some bloody faggot gave me a itch of my life. i think it was on monday, i sat on the mrt station stone chair, was going home, then my right thigh started to itch, VERY BADLY, i couldn't stop scratching, unsightly, i know, but you know me, i dont give a shit. wow i went home and still god damn itchy. at night, worse, disrupt my sleep. zzz. i tried scrubbing with soap, put the prickly heat powder and the burno cream. it itch for 3 mother effing days, on and off. now's there's a big lump on my right leg. yesterday i decided to use the soap bar and scrub that area up and down MANY EFFING TIMES, and i applied alot of the burno cream. seems to work! today, not so bad. HOORAY.
6) i dont have the guts to talk to some cute guy. okay maybe not really don't have the guts, just didn't want to have my heart broken again, 3 times in a year isn't a very nice thing you know. it made me think twice of being in a relationship, i should just be a lesbian, why? get together, at the end of the day i'll just tell her "babe, we should go our separate ways, cause there's no future for us, singapore doesn't allow gay marriage." i can imagine two scenario. one is a very stupid and lame and the other is well just the normal way. okay the lame one reply i get it "but honey, we're not gays, we're lesbians" lame right? totally. if she ever say that i'll slap my forehead and go, CHEKACHEKABOO, dammit i think projects are making me go insane. well the normal way of reply is "we can migrate" and you should know how the whole scene will turn out, me constantly trying to shoo her away, but she constantly trying to hold on to us. things will turn ugly. you know, if you want to create a drama out in public, piss a girl off. thank goodness im not 100% girly.

reasons as to why certain things made happy :
1) mum bought ice cream!! wait iscream!! hahahah that's what she texted me.
2) ice cream makes me happy
3) i played w my dad's baby lobster and tortoise, to de stress myself. HAHAHHA

i used a chopstick to get it out of the plastic tank because there were alot of baby lobsters plus i didnt wanna get keup by one.
i asked my dad before i played w it okay. ahhahah. i literally went "pa, the lobster keup pain anot? i play w it ah?" and he said okay. so i grabbed one, unlucky basturd, and opened my mouth and took a picture. it struggled when my mouth was closed and stayed still when my mouth was opened. hahahaha.

the tortoise even cuter, crawl until the edge of my palm and jumped, i got a little shock, didnt know they could jump! lol. of cause i manage to grab hold of it before it hits the ground. lol. anw my dad bought it to release it, some Buddhist thingy. i was thinking of their fate, so small, sure release liao all the big fish eat them up. ke lian, their life just ends like that. HAHAHHA
4) i bought myself a new pair of glasses!!

if you're wondering why i didnt get some cool in style specs, like those black or white thick frame, well, i wanted to get a spec that makes me look smart. HEHEHHE. really!! but leah said i look the same ): well maybe what she meant was, i look the same, with or without the spec i look smart. LOL. and im addicted to that chocolate (: grow fat and die early. booo.
5) sleeping make me happy. lol
6) stalking some cute guys profile makes me happy. I STALK OTHER PEOPLE TOO. lol. im no stalker, i just see see only.
7) i bought clothes from k gmarket, waiting only.
8) i don't remember already, but im always thinking of the bright side of life. (:

yah think that's all. oh and one more thing before i end.
why guys in a relationship should have a female best friend. OBVIOUSLY TO MAKE THE GIRLFRIEND JEALOUS, no no joke only ah, please don't smack my face. because the female best friend will always think of her buddy's relationship and think of ways how he can surprise her, girls what they should know what they want from a guy, unless she basturd dont wanna help her buddy loh. dont you think that's a good idea? unless your gf is those kind everything also get jealous one then sad for you loh.

YAHYAHLAHLAH need to face my projects! should make those "jia you" banner and tie around my forehead, and put a mirror in front of me, if not cannot see, the banner serve what purpose sia.

---

2011-02-25T23:02:00.002+08:00

haven't blogged in awhile. to be honest, i haven't been feeling good lately. im tired, im stressed out. so many things to do, so many things to think about. life is full of shits. on thursday, i really wanted to cry my heart out. i went home, and i did. too much workload. just by thinking of what i need to do by tuesday. im suffocating. i don't know who to talk to, i don't know who i can rely on. and i texted naz. he's not good w words, all he says is "don't emo ><" his comfort words are like one sentence. which really didn't help. most of the time i helped myself. always telling myself everything's going to be alright. sometimes i just want to run to someone whose arm are wide open welcoming me home. i bet you do get that feeling sometimes. it may not necessary be your boyfriend. most of the time, i don't want people to tell me things i already heard like "life's like that" i just want a warm hug that makes me feel at home, that makes me feel that i can go through it. i don't normally show my emo side to people, only to those i feel close to. im always trying to bring a smile onto people's faces. my goal is to always always put a smile on the people's face, people whom i'm comfortable with, it doesn't matter if im unhappy or not. i tend to put people first. sadly. i feel so so so negative at the moment. i kinda feel i give people the feeling that im childish, not mature enough, and their encouragement is always on level 1. like im some 14 year old who needs to hear all those shits. i know already. i don't need to hear those. i want to go to someone throw my arms around him/her and cry my heart out because i really can't take the pressure. have a nice chat, maybe some ice cream and i'll feel better after that. better in the way when i tell myself i can do it, it makes me feel that i can do it. unless you have anything new, any words that can create a deep impact in my life, then tell me, if not, i'll be sick and tired o hearing the same thing. imma positive person, im strong and independent. but sometimes even the strongest do cry. i may appear to be happy, always laughing and joking around, that's because i don't want people to worry for me, because i know i can handle my own problems. but sometimes i do show my emo side, it's when i really feel too much pressure is upon me. well i know i'll feel better soon. soon. (:

oh my ~ Godd

2011-01-30T18:20:00.005+08:00

i think God thinks that im too smart, therefore He wants me to be more stupid. hahahahha. i don't know why but everytime i hit onto something, my head always kena. ALWAYS. like 99.99% of the time. and it hurts so bad. there was once i kena concussion can, let me tell you my stupid tale. i was in underwater world, and i didn't know that there was a pillar behind me, i got excited after seeing some fishes (ya lah i know lah, so easily excited one, that's why imma happy kid, BOOYA) so i wanted to jump and turn around, bang i hit the pillar, i tell you i had concussion, i really did because i used alot of force when i jump, that was the worst among all the other experience. last Sunday, i went over to alex's chalet, just the two of us, again. ahha but welly came on tuesday, that's not the point, we decided to go escape since we had nothing to doooo, i sat the pirate shit and hit my head, yes again, when the ship was in the air, i decided to relax my neck a little, then when it swings down, guess what i knocked my head against the metal pillar behind. i swear to God i'll become super stupid one day. one day. my week went well. been staying over at alex's chalet for 3 nights? yah yah. watched burlesque , my second time watching, i tell you it's effing good! and the ladies, oh so hot. hahaha. BAM Christina is AWESOME. well nothing much to talk about this weeeeek, school was okay. went out yesterday, watched green hornet, funny, but i wouldn't really say that funny, it was a so so movie. yup.
OHOH and i shaved half of my head on friday. i told my ma, she said CNY how? need to wear hat uh? i told her no need lah. after reunion dinner, came home, my mom looked at me and said, where's your shaved head? i turned my head and said "neh" and she went "Chey!" hahahahhaha.

my bro damn cute. my mom opened his wallet and saw no money inside, asked my bro if he spent all his money already (my mom gave us 100 to buy CNY clothes) my bro didnt answer, then his face was like want to smile but forcing himself not to smile. then my mom asked again and he replied in chinese "if i told you you have money you sure take my money!" omg i cannot stop laughing please, i told my bro, GOOD ONE!
the other day i was halfway through making a skirt for CNY then i asked my mom "nice?" she said "nice meh?" then i replied "walao where got mother say not nice one!" we both laughed and she said "aiyah okay la okay lah nice lah." lol
my mom's awesome.

and im falling sick. STILL IMMA HAPPY KID. and in mid feb or somewhere there i'll be offically single for 1 year and counting. OMG i never thought i could be single for one year, because the max is 2months. sweeeee. im happy. i really am. being single means, i don't have to spend money on him, i don't have to spend time on him (which i do not have), i don't have to think about what to do when we meet up, being single feels good. all to yourself. got best friends can liao. (: heheheh. and i realised my taste in man is like errrr. two types of guys im attracted to, first is the smart looking kind, decent looking, has the brain, a little like nerds. NERDS ARE COOL OKAY, to me, i like nerds. hahahha. then the second type is the one that has awesome tattoos and piercing, has that bad boy look, still charming. NOT AH BENGS, i am not into them, turn offs, sadly i attract ah bengs, WTF WHY. im not a ah lian. -.- sobs. and those two types im into, i can never seem to use my charms to charm them over. HAHA, fine i got no charms but whatever. hahah, two types very different hor? im imagining what if you combine two together. EWWW CMI. im thinking of nerdy glasses, hair gelled to the side, buff, tattoos and piercing, wtf, cannot make it, FAIL ONLY.

i've been having nightmares. first one, which is the one i dream about most is, my teeth falling out one by one, at first it's still there then my teeth will become very lose, i'll try to make it not fall out, but it just falls. effing scary. which i went on to the internet and found what it means...
Symbol of Powerlessness
In many dreams of teeth falling out, the dream starts with just one tooth falling out followed by the rest. Dreamers often try to stop the teeth from coming out but to no avail. These dreams may signify a waking life situation that one feels powerless to change or stop.

Tooth Loss Dreams as Fear of Change
Fear of change is one of the top fears many people have and this fear is reflected in dreams of losing teeth. Given that waking life tooth loss is associated with transition, dreams of tooth loss may symbolize fear of change -- especially involuntary change such as a job loss or a failed relationship. Lost teeth can be symbols of a loss in life representing the fear accompanying the change.

Fear of Failure or Embarrassment
In waking life, people often cover their mouths when they are missing teeth, usually out of embarrassment. Dreams of losing teeth can mirror the same feelings of embarrassment. They might point to something one has done that one wants to ‘cover up’ for fear of embarrassment if found out. Alternatively, these dreams may indicate that there is something one wants to do but is afraid of doing for fear of the embarrassment of failure. It may be the psyche’s way of saying that there is something one wants to do but fears doing because of the embarrassment if one fails.

Poor Health and Financial Instability
Accidents and aging are two reasons teeth fall out. Improper nutritional is another. Teeth fall out when one’s health is not being properly looked after. In dream-speak, this may take the form of not being nourished spiritually, mentally, physically or emotionally. Since nourishment is taken in through the mouth, losing teeth may also indicate fear of financial loss – the inability to put food on the table or in one’s mouth.

Abandonment
When one is abandoned one is involuntarily left behind, powerless to stop or remedy the situation. Feelings of abandonment can be likened to the feelings one experiences in tooth loss dreams. Feelings of abandonment may feel similar to the feeling of the hole left in the mouth in tooth loss dreams.

Loose Lips Sink Ships
Dreams of tooth loss can have yet another meaning. They may be warnings that one is revealing too much information with the lost teeth standing in for the secrets one is revealing. Alternatively, dreams of lost teeth can symbolize lies or being lied to by another.

The most important thing to remember with any dream, tooth loss dreams included, is that they are not prophecies. Dreams are reflections of what is going on in the psyche and are meant as guide posts to help one be more successful in waking life. So despite the bleak meaning most of these interpretations carry, it is important to realize they are meant to help, not hurt.

got it from http://www.suite101.com/content/teeth-falling-out-in-dreams-a46402

and my second nightmare is when i struggle to stand up and walk, my legs would feel so heavy, and i'll keep struggling to stand up properly and walk, and i keep falling down, but i never come to a point where i decide to crawl. i just simply want to stand up and walk properly so i keep trying and trying. and my vision would slowly fail me as well.
which means..
It may be sign of losing control or symbol of low self confidence.

Projecting yourself walking slowly or not able to walk basically means deep down you are not capable of doing something that you are willing to do in reality. That has something to do with your personalities or things happened lately that caused you dream of it

and lastly, falling off a building? i think it's a building. if not just free fall. haha. dont remember cause i stopped having dreams that im falling. i would dream that i tried to fly but always fall halfway. sometimes i'll just continue flying. that only happens when i know im dreaming.i feel damn stupid, in my dream, i know im dreaming and i tried fly (because you can't do that in reality, so im like hey im in my dream let's fly, haha) but halfway through i got scared and i landed back on the ground (fuuuuukkkkk), and i'll try again (not satisfied), and i dont know why it has to be night time. damn funny in my dream, i know im dreaming and i want to change the dream, like you know, i wanna travel to rome hahahahaha, or something else, but cannot, then i'll be inside my dream wondering why i can't change my OWN dream. ohgod. ahhahahah. yes and i googled it...

Sometimes the dreamer may desperately want to fly but cannot leave the ground. This usually indicates a deep longing for liberation accompanied by a limiting fear. Is there something going on in waking life that you are excited about but fear starting or fear you'll fail if you try?

In waking life we are limited--we cannot take to the skies like Superman. Therefore, flying dreams can be symbolic of liberation from limits or 'rising above' a situation. Flying dreamers are usually flying high in the sky--the sky being a symbol of spirituality. So these dreams may symbolize an expansion in spiritual awareness and leave the dreamer with feelings of empowerment, hope, peace, and exhilaration.

Dreams that start off with flight but end with crashing to earth usually indicate a loss of control or fear of failure. Ironically, these dreams may also point to a fear of success. If you've become accustomed to a certain way of life--even a bad way of life--leaving it behind can be scary. What's out there? What will I do with all this freedom? I know how to handle the bad stuff but what do I do with success?

This leads us to pure falling dreams. Falling is not something we generally chose to do--it is something that happens to us, something over which we have no control. Therefore falling dreams are usually symbolic of severe anxiety, feelings of helplessness, being overwhelmed emotionally, or feelings being pushed beyond one's limits. Falling dreams that occur shortly after sleep are usually a bit more mundane: shifting from an upright to prone position may cause a drop in blood pressure which the dreaming mind then translates into a falling sensation.

Flying and falling dreams are like two points on opposite ends of an arc--freedom and liberation on one end; fear and limitation on the other. Look at your waking life and try to identify which end of the spectrum you are on. If you're on the flying end keep on soaring to the stars. If you're on the falling end try to identify what's holding you back--then go chase a star yourself!

http://www.bellaonline.com/articles/art8844.asp

sweet? i got bored and decided to find out. quite interesting

Dear God, please take half of my life.

2011-01-23T10:31:00.006+08:00

I've been sleeping early, like 9, 10pm, waking up at 7 - 7.30am everyday, and during mid day i'll feel tired. WHY. i mean i have enough sleep! about 7-8 hours a day, (9pm - 10pm i'll be rolling on my bed until 11pm, 12) this sucks. sometimes i'll even take afternoon naps. waste of my time. i need to focus and do my work. for today, i need to do my trend research, mind map and pasting my research in my sketchbook (but i'm so lazy) and also im meeting alex later. his chalet. he's alone, my poor baby. aww. hahaha! BFF since secondary 1! omg, we clicked instantly, love him to the max. he has been busy with work, therefore we couldn't meet that often, ohgod how i miss those time where we hang out till late doing/talking bullshits. even though i'm 20, im sorry if i don't act like one. and my memory is failing me, i keep forgetting my age. HAHHAHAH, sometimes i'll think that i'm 18, other times i REALLY forget. and often i'll turn to Leah and ask her "what's my age ah?" HAHAH, she wanted to slap my face. AND WAH PIANG, WAH LAO AND WAH LAN EH, i tell you ah, this year, the year 1 projects all fucking easy, i damn dulan, the school took out the major projects in every module? because im taking 3 year one modules, and each module has like 2-3 projects? and the school took out one project for each module and lessen the workload, and that one project is the one which requires alot of work. WHAT THE FUCK, okay let me say that again but with more emotion WHAT THE FUCK, KAN NI NA BEI CHAO CHEE BYE!!!! LOL, uh so vulgar, vulgar girl, heheheh but i cut down alot already hor, now i only say Fuck! im sucha engluish womaen. lol say it with a weird slang, e-glu-ish wo-ma-en. i can be your engluish teacher! and immma very the broke LOH. omg. all my money went into buying of fabrics and other materials. ): sobsob. this weeeeeek nothing much happened. except me talking alot of bullshits, and doing alot of weird stuff. too much sugar. been stuffing candies into my mouth like almost all the time. OHNO, and i gained 0.5kg, WTF. im suppose to lose 3kg, now i have to lose 3.5kg. ohgod, it's so hard to lose weight, and it's not like i don't exercise. man lose weight so God damn easily. i mean look at my bro, he lost 5kg, 5!!!! that is like 1.5 times? more that what i want to lose. NOOOOOOOOOO, this is so unfair and i run more than him, NOOOOOOOOOO. God just throw your thunderbolt at my fats and zap it away. HAHA. shoot multiple ones at different areas.. teehee. oh i finally went jogging, after like one month? of not jogging. uh and lemme tell you what happen. i was jogging happily, okay cancel the happily out, then a fucking tree vine was sticking out and i didn't see it, hits onto my face and scratch me. ouch. and it hurts. it really does, now i have a red line across my face. )): and it's visible. ))):::: ---> alien eyes, FREAK OUT! lol.

Dear God,
i pray that my popo will get well. she's been having health problems. please heal her. or please take half of my life and give it to her.
when i was younger my parents would bring my brothers and I to my popo's place for lunch every weekend, but as we grew older, we stopped visiting her, the only time we see her was during Chinese new year. from the way she acted, we knew she loves us very much. and i do too. even though i do not see her that often, i still do love her very much. when i heard that she was admitted to the hospital (she has been in and out of the hospital) because of irregular heartbeat. i went to my room and started praying. i cried that night. i guess im selfish huh? i only pray when i'm feeling heartbroken, i only pray when i needed something. But i have never once forgotten my dear Father up in heaven, i have never forgotten all the blessings He had given me. and i've been so selfish. i've stopped going to church, but does not mean i don't love Him. yet everything i've asked of Him, He'll answer me. Our Father who loves us no matter what. therefore i prayed and asked Him, please to take half of my life and give it to my popo, i feel that i have not spent much time with her. and it's not too late. i just wish for her to get well soon. God, you should stop blessing me and bless those who really needs it. Bless those people whom are very dear to me. and my family, esp my mother. please give her strength, because whatever hardship im going to face, i can deal it , please show Your grace and mercy to my family and friends. Father i thank you for all the blessings that are to come. I thank you for everything you have done for me. and i'm truly sorry.

xoxo,
Yours Forever Faithful Servant,
Valerie.

P.S i do hope people who read it, keep my grandma in your prayers. please and thank you.

oh and btw, even though sometimes i may feel irritated by my grandmother (not my popo, my ahma) it doesn't mean i wish her to die early. i think people have been mistakenly thinking that i wish for her to pass away soon. that's not true. although i may complain about her alot, i still love her. she is after all my family. just a few days ago, i reflected on my behavior towards my grandmother, and realised i've been rather rude to her, right now, everytime i feel angry towards her, i'll tell myself to cool down and treat her nicely, she's 87. weak and fragile. and im the only one who is mostly at home, therefore i should be taking care of her. although she nags alot, but she loves us alot too. she sewed blankets for her children and grandchildren. sometimes we tend to only see the bad points of people and often feel irritated by them, and in turn we fail to see the one thing that is important, that is the love they showed towards us. we will never see that until we lost it. im pretty glad im able to see that before you know. so im using whatever time i have to be a good grand daughter.
HAHA omg im making myself sound like a goooooood person, cannot take it sia.... when the fact is im not! SOB. zzzzz.

((((((::

2011-01-16T13:58:00.022+08:00

WOOOHOOO, i bought a pair of wedges onnn, ehh, i don't remember when, sometime last week. with mclyne. LOL i've been going out with her like almost every day when im free during my holiday! teehee. <3 her. anw, i bought for $49.90, sobs. but it's awesome, totally rock. :)

and yes that is how i pair my shoes with rock awesome clothing. love my jeans, gues what i did it myself. lol.

remember when this jeans were quite in last year or two years back? omg memory of a goldfish, sucks. yeah i didn't really wear it out because my legs are super short, therefore you cannot really see the ripped area. T^T. so i decided to cut strips in between out to have more holes lah, then i ripped it more so that the hole look wider. then i bleach over night. AWESOME OUTCOME, no? i love mah jeans.

my first week of school was.... okay loh. didn't do much. have to do a number of things today. omg feel so guai, do homework sia. you know uh, when i was in secondary school, i only attend school like 2 to 3 times a week. lol, i rather stay home and sleep. but i did alright, got study also hor! lol. when i came to NAFA, it was so hard to kick the habit of not going to school, at the end of the day my results suffered because of my attendance. OMG RIGHT. but im slowly retaking modules, and will complete all those i need to retake by end of year 3 sem 1 ((::: haha. haiyooo, abit sian. but bo bian. don't wanna retake one more year! woop will be doing mens wear this semester. and the theme i picked this sem is...... BANG BANG.... HARLEY DAVIDSON. wheeeeeee, im gonna have fun, plus i need to sew a top and bottom. thinking of doing a vest. weet weet. excited. moreover im starting to get a bit serious. OMG, so not me. i wanna play sia. eeesh. going to be 20 liao still wanna play. lol. i keep forgetting my age. lol. but 20 not old lah. THE BIG 2!! WOOHOOO. but abit sian leh, 21 more fun. teehee.
wooop friday, sat was helping out in the open house. not many people uh! stayed in the specialized sewing room almost the whole day! demo and explaining to the visitors about the different kind of machines, walao i can become expert in all the specialized machine loh, demo so many times. but it was quite fun. sat there were more parents, one can ask me if got insurance for the students anot, if anything happens while using the machine. wah i don't know sia i just said not sure, never really come across my mind. and can also ask me, what's the dropout rate. im like. eh eh eh. LOL of cause i did reply to her, i use myself as an example also -.- for me stress lah, but as long as you preserver, you surely can do it. then ask me very stress anot in this course. i was like. why can't you ask me questions like if my daughter/son cannot draw is it possible for them to enter. or why is the school building so boring.LOL okay maybe not the second one. ask me questions i never thought anyone would asked me. tsk. and i went to max tan talk, sat with huimian, max kept looking at us, and i think he's a little nervous, the he asked "anyone got any questions?" "valerie?" then i was like huh? *shakes head* and they were like feeding us like crazy. lunch plus snacks in the late afternoon. i mean it's cool, but ALOT. like we're some hungry ghost. chicken i think i've gained more weight. AHHHHHH!!!

i<3shane dawson lol. funny guy. and his dogs are effing cute to the maximum! if i can, i would like to keep the short and fat sausage dog. DAMN CUTE CAN. hahahahaha

From "Fashion Inspirations" awesome book. (: but damn heavy!

got it off the net while doing my banner.
and i came to realize that i want to stop caring for people who doesn't even bother about me. i will stop trying to be a good friend to make up all the years i've regretted. (don't think too much uh, im just trying to be a better person trying to please everybody, trying to be different than what i was before) i don't get back the love the same way im giving it to people. so why should i bother? i shall only be good to those who has been great to me. although it's only a handful, but i'm still thankful that i have great friends. i've been trying so hard to be there for people, always taking out my own free time and even sacrificing my busy schedule for people. THANK GOD IM STILL ABLE TO COMPLETE MY WORK. now, i don't want to do it anymore. i love people more than myself. i want to love myself, i don't want to be disappointed in people anymore. either do i expect any miracle to happen, because it won't. just those few people can make me the happiest kid in the world. God please bless them more than you have to me. YAH that's all. teehee.

SCHOOL!!!!!

2011-01-04T19:45:00.019+08:00

SCHOOL OPENING ON THE 10TH JAN! my class time table damn sian compared to the other two classes. here's my class time table (those in bold are those additional modules i have to retake/take) :
Monday 9am - 12pm Pattern making, Textile (year1 module) 2pm to 4pm
Tuesday 9am - 12pm Fashion Design, SAS 3D Design 3pm to 6pm (THANK GOD LEAH IS WITH ME IF NOT I'LL DIE DURING THE 3 HOURS BREAK!)
Wednesday 11am to 1pm Textile, 2pm to 4pm computerized, Computerized (year1) 4pm to 6pm
Thursday 9am to 12pm sewing, 1pm to 3pm pattern draping.
Friday - NO SCHOOL!!! if i can't get SAS Fashion -.- which is 9am to 11am every alternate week!
i think FD4A3 time table is realllly damn awesome!
monday - 9am to 5pm (1hour lunch break)
Tuesday - 2pm to 5pm
Wednesday - No school
Thursday - 4pm to 6pm
Friday 2pm to 5pm

so which time table would you prefer? walao eh. puuuu~ have to wake up early.
been rotting for two days, and i love it. for the fact that i've been going out so much, working, partying, i just want to stay home and ROT! going out tomorrow! puuu~ dont really feel like though. anw was browsing through my phone gallery, found some photos i wanna shareeee

IT'S CALLED "ONE HELL OF A SHIT" if i am to sell it. i think it's carbonara pie, from Hanz. my mom bought it and asked me to warm it up and have it for lunch. i couldn't finish it, and it taste like chicken pie. eat until can sian one you know.

this is good, like seriously. GOOD chocolate ice cream, need not be so ex lah but the one from mama shop, cheap and good. add banana and LOTS OF MAPLE SYRUP!! omg, i had that for 3 days straight! feels like im in heaven. MAMA MIA! and im not really a big fan of chocolate ice cream. i know im a weird person, i love chocolate, but not really into chocolate ice cream. i love strawberry flavoured products but not into strawberry itself. hohoho.

FROM BAKERZIN! i wouldn't say it's damn good maybe a 7 out of 10. i still LOVE their sakura flavoured one!! OMG CAN'T GET ENOUGH OF IT!

MAKING LASAGNA. so many ingredients for it, but it turned out quite tasty. JOCELYNE EVEN CAME TO MY PLACE THE NEXT DAY, SAYING SHE WANTS TO EAT MY FOOD. SO PROUD OF MYSELF. of cause i follow recipe lah, not a chief you know. haha! among all i must say, the mash potato's the best (: and really easy to make.

that's my messy kitchen! but i cleaned it up. just don't like my mom consistent nagging when she saw me cooking halfway because i made a big mess out of it. IT'S FUCKING ANNOYING! and it's not like i don't clean up -.- she'll go like, AIYO WHY SO MESSY! HOW CAN YOU BE SO MESSY! LOOK AT ALL THE MESSY! HAIYEH!, and i'll be fucking irritated because it's not like i'll leave it to her to clean it up. i swear to God i'll never be those nagging ladies because it's damn annoying. -.- menopause. tsk.

Christmas lightings at Queens Condo! didn't get to dip in the pool ))::: cause it rained cats and dogs that night! ):

yeah i recently bought sleek make up. cost me around 60 plus USD? which includes 13USD shipping. i wouldn't recommend it even though it's cheap it's not very good. yeah i bought a few items..

the compact powder! i shade i bought was too dark!! haha so i had to use it like a blushing. the sponge inside sucks, so i suggest you either get a new one or a brush.

Concealer which is so so to me. well okay the compact powder and concealer were the best among all, but still... i don't really like the eye liner and pencil.

Packaging looks good right? haha. the brush for this stinks. and like no colour one loh -.-

You have to put it on twice you want the darker effect. but if you're putting eye shadow first, it aint gonna come out well. i dont put alot of make up and only on occasions where im going out and want to look my best, i use Red Earth Liquid Eye liner, it's a small white bottle and a little costly but good to use! got it at SASA (:

Brown Pencil Eyeliner. smudges easily. ): but still okay.

It's a test kit, only cost me like 2USD. pretty much so so.

and they gave me a free lip gloss! hehe. i feel that Diaso one use like soso not bad leh. 2bucks only. hahaha! but of cause sleek make up is better. (:

TEE HEE i spent 1.5days watching this, Kaicho wa Maid-sama!, from http://www.watchanimeon.com/anime/kaicho-wa-maid-sama/ funny sia. sorry im a anime person. watch alot cause some are really funny. (: when i first saw the picture, i never thought i would wanna watch it cause it looks stupid, but i had nothing to do, so yah i watched it. funny luh!! but sadly it had to end so fast ):

I LOVE POCKY!!! STRAWBERRY FLAVOUR!! hehe i saw the blueberry and lychee in my mama shop so i decided to buy since it cost me only $2.90 in total! well 7-11 will definitely rip your money off by selling it at maybe $3 plus? CONFIRM. lol. the lychee one not bad, the blue berry one too. but i still prefer strawberry :DDDD OMG. I WANNA HAVE ONE NOW!!

PUU~ that's all i guess. wah HUNGRY! gonna eat. CHIAO~

OH AND ALSO. IM NOT EMO CAN! just because i say that when it's time for my to die then just die loh. if i die later then die loh. BUT IT'S REALLY WHAT! it's not like i can choose, that will be suicide okay! if God wants me to die, then just let me die! and somehow people still thinks i'm emo and goes "you can talk to me about anything" im so angry that i wanna laugh. im a optimistic person OKAY! get that! IM NOT EMO! lol!

2011 will be a good year!

2011-01-02T00:06:00.016+08:00

went ice skating on the 28th. Went over to marina bay sands. buuuuut. it wasn't an ice ring. and it's in the middle of the mall surrounded by food courts. leah, yvonne, leah's three little cousins didn't want to skate anymore because of the crowd watching.

it looks big right? but it really isn't and it's not real ice, i don't know what's it made of either. doop. so we decided to head over to Kallang ice skating ring. 2hours. oh it was fun. and i fell twice. the first one was OUCH! BIG UGLY BRUISE. BUT I STILL WANNA ICE SKATE. zzz.

i know i' one day slow, BUT HAPPY NEW YEAR. i had an awesome start of the year. and i got this feeling 2011 will be an awesome year for me because 2010 was the most fucked up among all the years! i spent my new year in two clubs. teehee. i went to zouk at 930PM, and they havent even started yet, which i thought they would. paid 80 for a friend and mine! my zouk is a really nice place, but im not into trans music, very hard to get high!

yes just the three of us! haha! left zouk at about 1? went to rebel! (: yes i do prefer rebel because they play R&B and pop music which i know. VIP AREA TOO. but i prefer the dance floor because everyone is dancing and it makes you want to dance too. VIP room, like not everyone is dancing, then don't have the mood leh. but dance floor alot of horny guys loh. -.- wtf. hahahahah, they come close i siam. cannot take it, i grab hold of mclyne's hand and just move away. but got one i damn pissed off. some asshole was playing with my hoodie. keep hitting my hoodie, i turn but dont know who did it, until i fed up, just walk away. should wear a shirt that says "i just wanna dance, so please fuck off" at the back. hehe. and Amanda was damn funny!!! 9seconds of Martel ? ehh 9 seconds of some hard liquor. and she's drunk. okay not really that durnk, but she couldn't stand properly. i only can't stop laughing at the part where she lied on the couch like some dead person. hahahaha!! an awesome start of the year. (: my third time clubbing, i wouldn't say i hate clubbing. just rather spend the time sleeping. but once in awhile, i don't mind, it's not like im doing anything wrong, im just dancing with my girls. ((: my mom's really cute she sent me a message !
"Wishing all my Darlings A Cery Happy 2011. May David become a pilot flying around the world. Valerie become a distinguish designer well known thru out europe. May Lowell become a doctor n Kimmy become a millionaire zipping around in Ferrari n Lamborghini. And lastly may I clear all my debts soon. love you all."
aint my mom the sweetest. i love her to bits.

and i just spilled water on my laptop mouse pad. and it didnt work. i was like OHFUCK. ): super sad! but after awhile it started working again. see what did i tell ya, 2011 will be an awesome year! (:
heading to Butter this friday, lesbian and gay club on wed! WOOHOO gonna try Graveyard and sex on the beach, and maybe tequila shots teehee.
OHOH I MISS LEAH! hope she's having a blast in taiwan! she'll be back on the 6th! OMG SO EXCITED TO ASK HER HOW IS IT THERE! hahhaha. which reminded me. we were chatting about traveling the other day, loooong time ago. i told her i really wanna see the vernice carnival. go to rome see their history buildings. fly to paris! go to USA disney WORLD! and Korea! and Thailand. she wants to go to alot of asian countries, when she said Taiwan, i was like. IM NEVER GOING TO CHINA! she corrected me and said Taiwan is not China. BUT I DONT REALLY CARE. CHINESE! CHINA! hahahah. anw as i was saying! IM NEVER GOING CHINA BECAUSE IF THEY STARTED SCOLDING ME I WOULDN'T KNOW WHAT TO SCOLD BACK BECAUSE MY CHINESE IS SO POOR!! all i can say is FUCK YOU! because i think fuck is a word which is recognised internationally! hahaha!! that's not fun you know. and imma going Korea Next year end. SO EXCITED! with leah, Yvonne, maybe Leah's sis, mclyne, jocelyn! OMG! EXCITED! gonna learn to speak their language SOON! :D weehee. 2011 beginning was a blast! 2011 shall end it with a big bang! KOREA HERE I COME! and few years down the road, mom's planning on bringing us to Europe! OMG! can't wait. (: may i not find love this year! :D

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

2010-12-25T01:47:00.004+08:00

up coming collection sneak peak! http://floridkiss.livejournal.com

All i want for Christmas is you.

TEEHEE. OMG IT'S CHRISTMAS! MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ONE AND ALL. LET'S DRINK AND BE MERRY!! Christmas this year came cheap. sorry i'm saving for my braces. okay, I JUST ENDED MY VACATION MODULE YESTERDAY, FRIDAY. monday to friday (5days) 9am to 6pm with a one hour break. do sewing. sian right? i know. BUT I ENDED at 1230 ON FRIDAY! WHEEEE. went over to anchor point to buy board games, went home after to sleep super tired! i told myself this week, NO GOING OUT, cause im schooling, need to go home and sleep. woah, tuesday, wednesday, thursday, went out after school. with a heavy bag ): ohmygosh. anw, it's over. sleeping soon i guess. IT'S CHRISTMAS ! i love christmas and halloween. (((:::: teehee, went cold storage and spent $150! came home my mom told me she received a $150 Taka vouchers. could have just gone to TAKA cold storage. FML. hahaha. anw will be at queens condo tomorrow for christmas gathering. (:
ALRIGHT WILL WRITE MORE ANOTHER DAY. sleeeepy. GOOD NIGHT

LET'S ALL BE MERRY BECAUSE IT'S CHRISTMAS! :D MERRY CHRISTMAS!

C(:

2010-12-09T12:58:00.009+08:00

WARNING SUPER LONG POST, DONT READ IT IF YOU DON'T LIKE READING LONGGGG JOURNAL ENTRIES

im at workkk. wekkkkkkkkk. NO i'm not slacking. im on my break. OMG. 1PM, another 5 long boring hours. WORK, i hate annoying people but they make me laugh because they are really annoying. like today. i called a food industry. and they lady on the other went something like this..
OL: Food industry doesn't have a certifaction body.
Me: oh i'm not too sure.
OL: You should know. it's your job.
*im already starting to feel a little piss. ROAR. sorry my period just came this morning ):*
Me: I would like to do an update on my sytem.
OL: Where you calling from. Do what update. You should know that food industry don't have this
*in my head, i called many food industries and they do have ~.~*
Me: well i'm just a part timer doing what im told.
OL: It's your job to also know this
Me: Okay. Thanks. bye.
what i really meant to say was
it's not my fucking problem if you don't have a certification body. and i'm not gonna stay here for long, so why they fuck should i know all this. if they didn't tell me of cause i wouldn't know. and why should i ask when im unfamiliar with the certification body? so stop fucking around with me, you're not my boss. thank you. (:
BUT you know. i can't say that.
HEHE and and i found some really weird names, i wish i can type it out but i can be sued for it. :/ it makes me laugh. ((: like there's one that sounds like banana. AND AND, MUTHU! HAHAHA. omg, shihui and i were making jokes with imaginary people, MUTHU was like the main one. i wanted to laugh on the phone. ((:
Oh the only part i love about this job is. you get to laugh like people with funny names. ((:
WOOP. my day brightens at.. 12NOON, LUNCH TIME. 4PM, 2MORE BLOODY HOURS. 6PM WOOO IM OUTTA HERE. every hour where i take toilet break. LOL. yes every hour.
i feel as though im getting younger at heart day by day. i got overly excited when i saw this balloon man having a ladybug balloon on his wrist. i wanted to have one myself, but i told myself to grow up. HAHAHA. and i've been drinking milk and ribena every mondays to fridays. HEHE the blackcurrant and strawberry one is nice. i like {: okay gotta grow up. (: I WANNA HIT 21!! it's like the LEGAL AGE FOR ALMOST EVERYTHING. right?? TEEHEE

Just the other day kim was talking about working life, how she felt, scared. if you're asking how i feel, i feel scared too. fear is part of our emotions, so there's nothing wrong being scared. esp when your dream is as big as mine and very very uncertain, all the more should you fear. {: YES I AM SCARED, i don't know who i can share this feeling with, even if i did i doubt their words will sink in my head.. oopsy. here's how i planned my life to be.
17 YO - Attend an Arts school to do fashion design because i have the passion for it, and i hope that they'll drill me real hard, AND YES THEY DID. do i like it? well some parts.. and i know it's for my own good to go through such hardship. at times i want to give up, but i told myself, if i give up, im giving up on my dream. and i don't want that of cause (:
21 YO - GET MARRIED, im just kidding, don't even have a boyfriend wanna get married sia. hahahaha. (: OKAY GRADUATE WITH A DIPLOMA IN FASHION DESIGN. create a BIG BANG in my final collect and hope to obtain a scholarship to Bunka College.
BETWEEN 1- 4 years i'll graduate with a degree in fashion design.
let say i graduate in 4 yeears time, i'll be 25/26! wow. old. i hope to work in high end brand companies. and save enough money to start my own label. of cause i wish to be like alexander wang and all those designers who have their collections on the runway.
BUT, along the way, of cause sometimes you don't get what you dream.
why? money issue.
im getting my braces done in Jan -$2900. I want to get an Iphone 4 -$300, computer table -$200, book shelves -$200, treadmill -$300, Facial -$500, tattoo -$500, other self expenese -$1.5k AND IM LIKE SLOWLY SAVING IT UP. i have a problem saving, sian. in addition, im going to Korea next dec. WINTER CLOTHINGS, AIR TICKETS, HOTELS, FOOD, SHOPPING, TRAVEL. MONEY MONEY MONEY. that is why i love MONEY. although it only gives temporary happiness, IT IS STILL HAPPINESS. hahahah. name me one thing that gives you happiness 24/7. love don't count. i would like to see you being happy with no fights 24/7. sometimes loves only brings temporary happiness, like, you're happy he surprises you. you're happy to see him after a long while. but slowly the happiness will turn to feeling, content/okay, if youre seeing each other too often. if you're saying im wrong, you must be with him/her for awhile only, say after 10years, see if you're still happy 24/7 with him/her around. *mmmmm, strawberry ribena, damn nice. should try it. gonna buy 2 more later!*
YES MONEY. i think i'll bank loan if i cant get the scholarship. but im not sure if they bank will loan me the cash. damn ex sio the school. $667 Admission fees. $500 other fees. $10,000 tution fees per year! ): that's like 40k for 4 years. ): sometimes i wish i was born with a silver spoon in my mouth.
if i were to work, i have to work a few years plus alot of savings!! )): if not i'll just go to another fashion school in Japan. sigh.
so fear? yes i fear. because im human. name me one big shot who doesn't feel fear once in awhile. name me one person who knows when he is ready.. okay maybe there are, but once they stand on the spotlight, im pretty sure they have doubts of whether they are still ready. i feel that im not ready all the time but i still go for it. because if i don't do it, i never will cause im always feeling unready. i mean it's natural to feel that way. but, when you do, you got to give yourself a little push until you're in the spotlight, and give it your best, because there is never a perfect solution to everything. you may have a little wrong here and there, but you learn from your wrongs and improve. (: there's why i don't mind my teacher giving one hell of a nagging. because I DO LEARN. and when im unsure, I ASK, YES I GET SCOLDINGS (because im always skipping class :x) but i learn (: that's also part of life. ready or not, just go for it, because you'll never know when will your next chance be.
FEAR, YES I FEEL YOU, but im not alone because i have people around me. and i know
i'll be okay. (:
being in a design industry is pretty hard. i mean i get look down sometimes why? cause in their mindset im just a no brainer. well i dont get that all the time, just a few occasions. i wanted to scream at their face. but it's not worth it, because i know im worth much more than them, my turn to shine will soon come upon me. soon. moreover, you crack your head thinking of what to design. you think it's easy? doing POA is easy, doing math was a piece of cake, doing science was fun. design? im kinda new to it cause i didnt take art in the past because i thought taking art means no future :X HEY! different thinking now because i love art. (: for all those easy topics you need a book and start understanding and feeding information to your brain. design? inspirations. where? EVERYWHERE. there's no book answers for designs. YOU THINK OF IT. in other words. ORIGINALITY. and it's always a yes or a no, there's no maybe. on paper, you get it wrong, you take your pen cancel your wrong answer and fill in the right answer next to it, in design, you think it's nice, you think the teacher would say it's a good job. but he thinks otherwise, one word, redo. and don't all design student hate that one little one. REDO. this means, starting from scratch. so you think design is easy, you just pick up a pencil and start scribbling and call it art. you're wrong. you think we just sew in school. hell no. we have theory too. we have history. and every single dress/pants/shirt your sew, you need a paper patter before you start to cut your fabric. and other stuff. but hey it's what i enjoy to do. (: i know there are people out there who says, hey my parents didn't like me to do what i want, they want me to do this or that. my parents didnt like the idea of me doing fashion because when i was in sec 3 my mom told me to do banking and finance, that's why i took up POA. only when i was in sec 5 did i realise i have a strong interest in fashion. i was scare to tell my parents that i wanted to take fashion, when i had the guts to say, my mom said no, and my dad strongly disapprove. i reasoned with them and eventually im here (: and they too understand that it's my life and my choice. i know that they think it's for my own good not to do this, but i feel that i should take the risk. my life, my choice, you may not be happy with what im doing now, but nevertheless, i'll make sure that one day you'll be proud of me. that day, i'm sure it'll come. (: wheeee

oh and it's friday now, i know the date is like thursday but i didnt manage to finish typing during my lunch break. HAHA. wheee did packing today. 3hours for 90$. WAH MONEY MONEY MONEY, I LOVE MONEY MONEY. haha, and people call me the materialistic girl. (: what you dont know is, i don't like to spend other people's money, which includes my boyfriend (no, i don't have a boyfriend. it's been like 10months). i prefer to give than to take. i prefer to bless and receive blessing not from people's money but in other areas like grades or stuff like that. (: im ending my work on the 14th!!! my period came this month and im happy all the way, moody for awhile then happy again, this is the second time this happened to me. good. im in the festive season.

that's my wallpaper! (:
I'm planning on a AWESOME Christmas celebration on Christmas day itself. for all the lonely people such as myself. who doesn't have a boyfriend to spend it with ): hahahah!

IM BUYING THIS FOR CHRISTMAS!!!! FROM BAKERZIN, $54

AND MAYBE HONEY BAKED HAM, $68, but joce said turkey ham is better, shall try to look for that. MAYBE.

MY HAIR COLOUR, BEFORE.

MY HAIR COLOUR AFTER I WENT TO A SALON TO DYE. but it faded three days after -.- now it's damn brown, plus a little blond. SAD. i like the colour above but it wont stay ): the back half of my hair from ash grey became ash blond. LOL.

i like her tattoo! love the shading, will do the shading like that ((:

DONE. im gonna butter on friday. (: it's my third time clubbing. not lying. and i just wanna look at the place (: im interested in going to the gays and lesbians club. SOON. :D after Christmas!

Ngeow company. sounds like a cat. meow.

2010-12-02T13:56:00.003+08:00

My company should switch their name to Ngeow company.
Dear Blog,
Life has been good, or I should say, been better. 2010 was really a bad year for me. I think dear God above is trying to mold me to a better and stronger person. I've suffered countless numbers of heartbreaking incident (sobs much) But i do not care about it anymore. I grew and matured through various obstacles. However one part of me will always remind, the cheerful, happy-go-lucky girl will always be a part of me. And I hope i won't turn out to be a very serious person because i'll be missing out alot of laughter and missing out doing stupid things. As the year approaches to the end, life from deep shit pit gradually becomes better. I do hope 2011 will be a good year (throughout the year i mean, please and thank you!) I mean i was in deep pit shit since the beginning of 2010, so to be fair, or i should say balance, 2011 must be a good year for me, please (;
I feel like blogging in such a poilet manner (:
TEEHEE.
and i just found out, that school reopen is on the 10th Jan. UHHUHHUHH. i always thought it is on the 17TH. bullshit. this means. ending my contract on the 14th. 15th to 19th IM FREE. 20 to 24 Im going to school, 8hours each day. then XMASSSSSS. WOOOO. 27 to 31 school again. because i have to retake certain modules. UH SIAN MUCH! have to clear. )))):::::: then one week of break! NOOOOOOOOOOO. WHAT EVER HAPPENED TO TWO WEEEEEKKKKKKSSSSS!!! OUR HOLIDAYS/BREAKS ARE GETTING SHORTERRRRRRRRRR. waiting for my results. damn fucking long. WHYYYYYYYYYY!!!! HURRY UP ALREADYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!. please no failure, i dont wanna have to go through vacation modules AGAIN. SCHOOL SNOOZEE. i wanna be a tai tai. HAHAHHA. (:
week so far had been good. great. awesome. haha, eh. i worked on sat and sun, was really tiring. but i had fun, it's better than what i am doing right now. BOOOO. dear God, if you can, please struck lightning at my company. BOOOOO. yah. anw, i almost died on monday. very very sleepy. so i decided to drink coffee. OHOHOH WRONG MOVE. i thought it'll help me stay awake. NO IT DIDNT i still felt really tired, on top of that i felt the anxiety causing my heart to race a little. i couldn't stop fidgeting. it's really damn annoying. AWW. but i made it through the day. didnt go to work on tuesday :> wednesday, i had lots and lots of candy. cause i thought sugar will keep me awake. instead i got high on sugar but still feel tired. my talking speed was like a bullet train, which had me repeating myself over and over. HAHA
AND YES TODAY
TGIF TOMORROW.
I WAS MAD ANGRY THIS MORNING. ROAR. they complained, and told me i shouldn't use the internet in the office. IM LIKE WTFWTFWTF?!!! i cut down alot. the only web page i go to is Fmylife.com and i only read it when i want to take a break?? if not i'll minimized it. ON TOP OF THAT, i got some really annoying client, that adds on to my moodiness. but at the end, i just laughed it off. they are so annoying that it's kinda funny. LOL. i then decided to buy HELLO PANDA, POCKY (MY FAVE!! I MISS EATING POCKY! STRAWBERRRRYYYYYY) AND MANY MANY CANDY. AND MUTHU!! hahah, it's between png and i. couldnt stop laughing, imagining how muthu would look like. LOL. i was happy today, i guess. TGIFFFF and im meeting png tomorrow. YAYYYYY...

IM IN A GOOD MOOD. (:
IM GETTING MY TOMS SHOES ON SAT.

work sucks

2010-11-19T15:16:00.006+08:00

sorry no pictures at the moment because i'm in the office. making phone calls. i thought of a nice way to say to people so that they don't think the company is sly. i'll just asked those competitor's customer if they wish to participate in our company's mailing list. SAVE MYSELF FROM GETTING SCOLDING. i tell you uh, i kena a few times liao, but it's really not my problem since i'm only working part time. you wanna scold you call my boss and scold him okay. wah if only the phone can transfer calls, i'll say "please wait while i transfer your call to my boss, if you're not satisfied with what the company is doing, please feel free to voice it out to him." i don't know why some people are quite dumb. they had me repeating what i need to update and verify, at the end of the day they don't know and have to transfer my call and i have to repeat myself. shoot me please. wah and i don't understand why they wanna hire peopl whose ENGLISH IS DAMN POOR. you know what i'm talking about, i don't wanna be sued. WAH i tell you those are the worst bunch. they will go huh? not because my chinese is damn poor, but they don't know who is the person in charge of that division. instead of transferring the call to someone who can help me, they just tell me, i don't know. STUPID OR WHAT, you can bloody hell just transfer the call to some english spoken office man/woman to help me transfer the call. i haven't finished what i wanna say, she hung up on me. fuck you.
some better i haven't finish talking, they keep interupting me. wah punch them. just say yes or no to the question i'm about to ask and then you can hang up. why waste your precious time on me. HAIYO. i don't really like those indian accent people because i cannot really tell what they are saying and i just went, okay, as though i know, but i really don't. lol.
I swear to God, they should really do something about their "bye bye ring ring" i don't know what's the term, when the person transfer the call, the music playing before the person picks up the call. yah some like some haunted carnival inviting you in to the rides when no one is operating the carnival. lol. some sounded like super mario game where you play in nitendo when you were in primary school, okay maybe not you, me. lol. there were some they made me feel sleepy. a few had chinese song which sounded like it was meant for chinese new year. thank god there wasn't any bollywood song. one was cool, they were playing elevator by David, and the music i was listening was the same song. haha. (:

ugh, my company is fucking ngeow, okay maybe it's just this department, because the other one i worked before they were nice people. lol. and so i take back those words i said about my company, only certain department i do not like. not only do they not care if you're dying while trying to speak to the person on the other line unless you ask, when they jolly well can tell that i'm struggling to bomb whatever i know which is limited. but also, money issues. i just submitted my time sheet. i put 0830 to 1800 lunch break 30mins. so a total of 9hours. the person came up to me and said to me nicely, next time if you should put whatever time you come in (because i always come in at 0845, 0850) because im being paid at an hourly rate. and also it's not 9hours, it should be 8.5hours, can you change it. i gave her the very "oh, im so sorry" tone voice and said i only had 30 mins lunch break. since it's an hour i'll just go for an hour next time" and totally ignore the part where i was late in the morning. because i want my money. hello i very nice as not to use so much on the internet already okay. and i clean up the messy call list you gave me. im doing work that i'm not required to do. cb, and why i eat lunch cannot be 30mins, must be 1hour. the contract also never say i should fully use my 1 hour. so fuck you. so fucking stingy then want me to do work beyond what i should do. why the fuck should I? oh the head ask me to do more than a hundred calls. so i did a hundred and 1. first they tell me im only required to call 85 calls a day when i signed the contract they told me to do a hundred calls. you're not paying me more and since i agreed to do more than a hundred, im doing a hundred and 1. fuck you, don't complain about me, im only requied to do 100 calls so fuck you. you're not the one paying me, it's the company, so i come 10mins late... close one bloody eye lah, hello i'm only earning 1008$ A FUCKING MONTH! YOU WANT TO DEDUCT HOW MUCH. I ASK YOU BITCH. i don't like the people in this department, they give me a very bad feeling, so therefore i shouldn't get too close to them. and make sure i don't get caught surfing too much internet. yahhhh. also everytime i walk pass this office lady to get water, that's like 3 to four times a day, im always seeing her play plants vs zombie. FUCK YOU. WHAT JUST BECAUSE SHE FULL TIME AND SHE DONE HER WORK SHE CAN PLAY AND IM A PART TIME AND I FINISHED MY WORK I CAN'T DO WHAT I WANT. WTF IS THIS. TRYING TO FUCKING BULLY ME. sorry you can't because i know what to say what you're about to shoot me something. im not that dumb, i know how to stand up for myself. so fuck you bitches.

OKAY i'm kinda happy today because i just bought a packet of HACKS candy to suck on for the day. candy makes me happy. haha. and i realised, when i speak in a happy tone, people tend to want to be part of the mailing list. see i'm not so bad, even though i may not like the company i'm still helping them out. except for one thing, some numbers are invaild. i know i can log on to their web to check for the new numbers, but i don't want to i shall leave it to the very end. so that i can stay for two months. i wish they pay me 8$/hour ): hahah wishful thought.

wait not so happy because leah is sick, that means we can't go swimming and then far east the next day, which also means i can't stay over at her place. aww. i guess im gonna watch movies tomorrow just to pass time away. which i don't mind. haha. (: i miss those lazy days period. and come to think of it. im working next weekend. OMG SO MANY JOBS COMING TO ME. im so happy. money money money. i love money. HAHHAHAH. must learn to save money. MUST SAVE, BUT I WANNA SHOP. lol!! can't seem to physco myself to save. ohwell. SAVE. that's all i guess. i think you'll be seeing many post on my complaining about people. (: HAHA life doesn't suck that much, it could have been worse. (:

please kill me

2010-11-18T11:10:00.000+08:00

HOHOHO! i so happy Chirstmas is coming. and I WANT to go to town to see Christmas lightings. hope it doesn't rain. and i'll probably be carrying a baseball bat around, just in case some shit face decides to spray snow into my face, they'll gonna get whacking from me. So if you see some idiot carrying a baseball bat, that's 80% me. and im planning to go to korea next Dec. i know long way. so i have to save up. (((((((::::: im so exciteddddddd. woooooo. SNOWWWWWW~~~ AND CHRISTMAS LIGHTINGSSS!!! so i guess no sabah this year. doesn't matter, i'm not in the mood to go on a holiday. (: OH I SO WANNA GO TAIWAN WITH LEAH BUT I GOT NO MONEYYYYYYYYYYY)))))::::: NVM I SHALL BOMBARD HER MAIL BOX WITH THINGS I WANT HER TO GET IN TAIWAN. hahaha.
OH YES AND ASSESSMENT IS OVER. it wasn't that scary. i mean, vik didn't really nag. im pretty sure he knows that we know what we need to do already. only my dress was a failure! too tight and shorttt!!! )): I HOPE I DON'T FAIL ANY MODULESSS!!!! (: hehe 2days after assessment day, i went to resort world to work. give out flyers. i was told that i'm promoting some high end brand perfume. i was cheated. 4days, 7.50$/hour, 1PM to 7PM. good pay, if not i wouldn't be giving out flyers. i pulled leah along! and she only worked 2days! because they require full timer on both sat and sun! they were paying $8/hour. i told myself. JUST DO IT FOR THE MONEY! hahah! and i worked all 4days. it was really tiring and really really god damn BORING. i remembered there was this small kid, who looked as though she had rabbis! Damn funny. she ran and screamed with her mouth wide opened and she was shaking her head. OMG, it was hilarious! oh yes and i was promoting on some freak show. oops, i meant a theatrical circus performance going on at resort world. cheated much? no link to perfumes. cb. and we had a small booth in a small tent which had in total of 10 different booth. we can't move around, and yes it's really boring. i don't know how i lasted for 4days. i really don't know. and i went out after work some more. hiong. but didn't go out until very late lah, need to sleep. a new job on monday. i tell you the work im doing is like wtf. my company damn sly, cannot mention what company. i signed a bloody contract for one month. imma telemarketer, and i only worked for 2 days. i still have 2 months plus to go, and i really don't want to do it anymore. I SHALL THINK OF THE MONEY! come to think of it i deserve more money for doing this shitty work. they kope their competitor's contact list from a third party, ask me to call them and verfiy under the other company's cert. and ask them if they would like to be part of the company i'm working for mailing list. sly anot, it's damn dirty and im doing their dirty work. i really don't like what i'm doing. it's not right. and im only paid $7/hour. i should paid $8 or $9 per hour for doing such a dirty job. i kena twice already can. next time if some idiot scold me i'm gonna just say "it's really not my problem since i'm only working part time, i am not going to work in this company after 2months, but for now i'm just doing my job, doing what i'm told to do. what this company is doing is really has got nothing to do with me" seriously, some can ask me stupid questions then when i ask the person who showed me around, she doesn't really know either. stupid or what? i really dislike the company im working for now. it's where my mom is working. and she intro me the job. she didn't know the details too. i never really showed my nice side because i don't like the people there. black face all the way. like really they have this aura that makes me hate them. i worked for their company 2 years back? i think, then i really don't like the people there. but im jobless and desperately seeking for a job. so i just take whatever that is offered to me. if i knew i'll be doing this shit i wouldn't take up the job. fml. and i signed a contract for 1month. they said i'll sign another one the next month. which i highly think i won't be getting the next month's contract because...
i am only required to make 100 phone calls a day. they didn't state if 1 call means the person picks up and answers my query. and they told me don't call back until i finish my list. so okay. then i'll plan my time nicely. within how many hours i'll make a certain number of calls. once im done, i'll surf the net if not i'll have nothing to do and trust me i surf alot because it's damn fast making one call. i kena. im like wtf? i am only required to make 100 phone calls a day, it's not like you're paying me more to make more phone calls. and if i finish fast, that means they don't need me anymore, so why should i do it fast? and i bet they're thinking if i manage to finish within the month, i don't need to sign another contract for another month because they have nothing for me. smart and sly. yes i can't wait to get out of that company, but where can i find a job that pays me $7/hour and only work for a month? not easy. fml. hehe. what piss me off is that some question the other party ask the person who showed me around don't really know how to answer and i have to save myself. wtf really. you fucking work there longer than me you don't really know. if not you make me say things i don't want to say. fuck this shit. i hope your company falls when my mom retires. lol. so evil. but i don't care. (: if my mom ain't working here, i'll probably stand up for my own rights, they want to fire me. be it, i don't really care. i'm not going to work in an office for the next 40 years. NEVER.
18/Nov.
don't ask me what i did on the 17, which is hari raya, because i spent my whole day dying my hair. which i totally love the front part, but hate my back. i shall dye my back tomorrow. ask leah to help me. i syed my hair like 4/6 times in 3 days? i know damaged! but it is already, so i couldn't care much, as long as i like the colour, the damage, not so jialat can liao. (: hehe, my back will be grey, literally, light grey. doing on friday night i guess. heading over to leah's place on friday night. going to learn how to swim. YAY. (((: finally. staying over then far east to SHOP HOOORAYYYY, on saturday :D 18/nov, go home sleep (:
hehe oh and the person in charge of me today asked me to go up and sit. i looked. her office is just in front of me. the good thing is, a wall is behind me, so when i surf the net nobody knows, bad part is, she'll know im not making calls. being down one level means, i can surf the net all i want, they can tell me nicely not to surf the net, but i dont really give a damn since she is on leave for a week. (: yes being here means someone watching my back, literally, and i have to make calls frequently, but at the same time i can use the net. going up means, i have to make phone calls the whole day. so, of cause i pick being downstairs. i had to come up with a stupid excuse as to why i wanna be downstairs "Very hot ah" ahhaha, cause the air con not working. God is good all the time, All the time God is good. WAHHAHHAHHA. i feel so evil. but i don't really give a shit. (: i should have requested $8/hour. calculated my pay $1008k a month, deducted CPF. KNN. very LOW can. my previous job do admin can earn 1.2k-1.5k part time. and they always overpay me. HAHA. (: this company, sigh $1008. ccb. doing cheap labour. and my hair looks crappy at the back. lol~

HOWDY PEOPLE!

2010-11-05T12:10:00.021+08:00

Dear Diary,
before i start off typing about my awesome week. i would first like to share something i found on the internet.
PAPER WALLET! yes you heard me. PAPER wallet. i saw it down at 77th street for say $23 bucks? it was kinda costly, but i had to admit i ALMOST purchased the one that is a american food menu. HEHE. it was so cute, but i kinda figured that everyday before i go to school i would forget to take my breakfast. yes FORGET. erm, cause i'll be rushing to leave my place for school. and i'll always complain during the morning lesson that im hungry. AND THE FOOD ON THE WALLET LOOKS DAMN GOOD. but it's kinda not worth my money, since it doesn't have a pocket for me to put coins. and so i decided to look up the internet to purchase cheaper paper wallet, instead i found HOW to make one! and it's like 20times cheaper? i mean printing is only going to cost you $1.30 for A3 size per piece in colour. and so i wanna share it with you peeps.

You will need:

1) Cutting Board (Optional)
2) A Pair of Scissors
3) Scotch Tape
4) Ruler
5) Measuring Tape (as long as you can measure 8 inches by 11 inches)
6) A Pen/Marker
7) Paper Finishes Spray (Optional)
OKAY you may be wondering what is this Paper Finishes Spray. It's a type of spray which preserve photo, or pictures. Protects against moisture, fading and smudges. dont ask me if this shit works, i ain't gonna ruin my project because of my curiosity (: but i did try with VERY little water, it does work. and please shake it VIGOROUSLY before spraying. if not your picture will have like "sands" on them, and you can't remove, unless you scrape it away but it might affect your picture, trust me it's based on experience. Oh you can get it at Art Friend. There's one at Brash Brasah Complex (Next to NLB), Takashimaya (5th floor) and Peace Centre (i don't know where cause i havent been to the one at peace centre yet) Yes and it comes in Glossy or Matte. For that small bottle, it's gonna cost you around $8. (: but you can choose not spray on your paper wallet. (:
and your picture can only be one sided, because if your picture at the back is plain white, it doesn't matter because it will not be seen, only at the middle of your wallet when you open it, you can paste picture or sticker to make it look better (:

STEP 1:

Measure 8 inch by 11 inch and cut. if you have white spaces, like mine, be sure that the white space ain't bigger than 1 cm, because if it is, you can actually see it on your wallet.

Step 2:

Fold it into half.

Fold the two side into the middle line.

then fold it half again.

you'll get a long rectangle.

Fold the long rectangle into half.

Step 3:

Open it.

Do a 1cm marking on all the edge of the folded lines.

Draw according to what i've did, or if you want other shapes it's up to you because this will be the opening of your card slot. Need not be so straight.

Snipe it off.

Scotch tape the two lines together.

Fold it according to the picture above.

Step 4:
Fold it back to how you first folded it at the beginning.

Fold it into half.

Fold the two sides to the middle.

This is how the inside of your wallet should look.

The side.

Fold the side of the wallet into the openings.

And you're doneeee!!!!! (((:
if you're like me, can't find any wallet because your 2 years old wallet became thrash and you need a wallet but you can seem to find any nice one that catches your attention, why not do a paper wallet. HEHE. lol. use it for the time being. here's mineeee.

I actually photoshop and did the repeat gun patters myself. (:

the cards made my wallet FAT! haha not money ):

I cut out a small piece of my dream bike and paste it in a way you can see it (:

THERE PROOF THAT I HAVE NO MONEY. lol.

OKAY BACK TO LIFE> let's start from halloween. 31st OCT! okay i didn't do anything on that day. i celebrated on the 30th OCT with a few of my awesome people. Mclyne, Ignatious, Wardah And Leah. I had fun at sentosa's spooktacular.

DONT EVER WASTE YOUR MONEY BUYING NIGHT SAFARI TICKETS. i heard it was terrible. i went two years back, it was terrible, seems like this year's the same. i mean they just let people keep buying tickets. there's no limit. people just keeps coming in. i had to wait nearly two hours to sit the tram. HEHE. sentosa's way better. (: and imma voodoo witch btw. (: i love my dream catcher. got it at $15 at marina square!
HEHE STAYED HOME ON SUNDAY!
worked on monday and tuesday! Stage usher. Wednesday Thursday stayed home and do nothing.. hehe GONNA FIND A JOB SOOOOONNNN!!! (:

and stay home today as well. just wanna stay home and do my projects. (:

PANIC ATTACK!

2010-10-11T14:38:00.002+08:00

you have to watch this. i hope my little girl in future will turn out like this. IT'S DAMN CUTE. and her english is like wow, for an 8 year old.

HOLY CARP! i'm left with 2 weeks to complete everything! HOW! MY GOD! HOW! panicking now. HYPERVENTILATING! SAVE ME DEAR LORD! taking a break. need to draw 30 more designs! 30 which i meant, tops, bottoms, outers, singles adds up to 30. SPORTS WEAR. trying to thinkkkkkk. hehe. OH i've been going out like mad. like thursday out with elkanah and Joce. watched the other guys. funny. but i prefer grown ups, that's funnier. had steamboat at kim's place. IM SORRY HONEY! I BROKE YOUR CUP! oh friday i was so stress over my dress. i hope the whole thing fits because i didnt do a new mock up to see if it fits. and i already cut my expensive fabric! but it's pretty (: shall post up my final garment when it's ready. omg i so love the fabric... went out on sat to celebrate Welly's 21st birthday. i wanted to slap his face for being such a indecisive person. lol. dinner out with ade and alex. and made a mini snow woman at xing wang.

isnt she just beautiful hahaha. ((:

AWESOME SHIRTS! i bought 2 for 10bucks! CHEAP! men's tee. from cotton on at anchor point. cheap deals eh, i feel so cheapo. but im happy!

ending the night with laughter.
Alex (speaks loudly): Smokers are stupid!

*Valerie and Adeline burst out in laughter*
whispers to alex, a smoker is sitting right beside you.
*Alex turns his head and smiled at the stranger*
Alex (speaks loudly again): Paiseh Ah!

♥

don't worry about me people.
smile for happiness is a choice, not whether or not you deserve it.
everyone deserves to be happy (:
it's faster than i expected. 2days was all i needed to get my emotions settled.
i'm happy with what i have. what i've lost, it doesn't matter for everyone loses something.
i don't need to think so much for what i have lost. because ahead of me are people who loves and cares for me,
my babies, bestbuds who never fails to make me laugh. you guys are the best.
i've got over everything that has happened. and better ones are to come. (: that's for sure (:
ONE LIFE, LIVE IT! lol.

MIA

2010-10-05T19:43:00.006+08:00

urgh. i dont have the time to blog. once a week okay?? i only have 3 weeks to complete everything. i have to redraw my pattern re sew my mock up? maybe not i'll just do the final. and i'm panicking. holy shit. i still have yet to master my guitar chords! GOD PLEASE GIVE ME MORE TIME!!! sigh. im wasting too much time! anw aint nothing much happened over the week! this morning lesson was like funny. because i showed vik my garment, he was super not happy, and i was like, max didnt even say anything, you have to say until i have to change everything. SIAN. just redo lah. and he said "who would want to wear this" i wanted to laugh and say "oh now you know, who design one, YOU" and so. imma busy please please please do NOT ask me out. (: woah damn sleepy today. (:
i kinda feel that the school's trying to kill their students. not only is the school building is unattractive, the school system is like wtf? why must we take elective when it has nothing to do with fashion? okay maybe one or two that are offered. my elective is Guitar, because it's my interest. besides other electives are all taken up. worst part is, you have to fight for your space. not everyone in the school gets to take elective because the class is already full. and if you don't have enough elective points, you can't graduate. wtf is this ? you have to wake up 9am in the morning to book your elective. i tell you i was damn piss on that day i booked my elective. i can only take up 24 credits a sem, this sem my modules that is compulsory adds up to 20credits. plus i have to retake some other modules totals up to 22 credit points. i wanted to take a 4 credit module elective. because we only need 4 credit for elective, and 3 sas (sas is totally different from elective, sas is you do another course, wtf has it gotta do with fashion?) i called the school and told them about my problem that i cant take up more moudles and i need to clear so many! they asked me to go to the head of my department and ask for approval. 11am, most of the elective, NO SPACE! wtf, so i quickly booked the guitar elective to ensure my space first before asking my head. fine in the end i didnt ask, i'll probably dont get to have an elective or sas because it's full. and i have so many things to do for my course, i dont even have the time to practice on my guitar. fuck this shit. ): my advise, just go to laselle, i heard it's less stressful over there. yes i have a friend from NAFA who went to laselle, and she told me that. (:

tell me what i wanna hear.

i tried. i really did. i tried to take away this bitchy part of me. i can't, now. it's not that i want it. i didn't ask for it.
im trying very very hard. i hate myself because of that.
everyone has their flaws, and mine is just that.
i've told you my story, you told me yours.
you said you'll be the best. but you weren't.
you said things which makes me smile. but soon after, you were just like the others.
i say sorry not because i, neither you, were wrong. i said it because i treasure you.
you misunderstood me. everytime you said "things ain't working out. Iet's just be friends"
you'll never know how much tears i shed just for that sentence.
i'm sorry for being me. i'm sorry for asking too much. im sorry for always picking a fight.
i just wanted a simple "i love you". i just wanted some attention from you. i just wanted you to ask if im okay when im down or sick. i just wanted you to hold me like you own me.
now, forget what we had, though it was short, but i did give you my best, well not entirely. hehe. God knows i'll do anything for you.
i want to text you. i want to say "i love you" & "i miss you"
BUT! i don't want you for myself. because i don't wanna hurt you anymore. you'll never know how hard is it for a stubborn little bitch at heart to let go. if you love someone, all you want is for them to be happy. and i can't give you, not because i don't want to, but it's because when my bitchy part acts up, i just don't care until the very end. that's when i say i'm sorry. and i really am. i didn't want that side of me to act up, sometimes i just lose control. sorry.

WHOOOOOP, dont worry about me, i'll be fine
I was thinking about her thinking about me, thinking about us, what we're gonna be.
opened my eyes, it was only just a dream.
what's not meant to be yours, accept it, and move forward. happiness is a choice. (:
3 days concept i guess. i'll find someone who would love me, and means it. (:

eye infection ):

2010-09-26T00:27:00.004+08:00

those small little words i wish to say yet i'm so stubborn, i don't want to give in.
it's not because i want to win, but it's because i have to let go.
i can't choose, and i don't want to hurt anyone. moreover i don't want to get attached.
i really wish to hear things like "babe, i'll be by your side, let's see what we can do"
and not asking me to choose when i really don't know what to do.
if you really love someone, go for it. no? i mean if i had a girl (yes im deciding to be a les) and if she asked me what to do,
i'll just say, "babe, i'll show you more love than he or she can, i'm selfish, but i want you for myself because i don't do shares. but if your heart weavers, or chooses another and not me, i'll let you go, your happiness is all it counts"
getting replies like "just leave it as it is" ain't really helping.
i wish to just text you "stay with me for i am weak without you" BUT I CANNOT BE SELFISH!
my heart breaks. but it ain't that bad. my heart just yearns for you but my mind tells me you're not worth it.
you're just like al the other guys. and my feelings will sure to fade after awhile.
but when you love someone, nothing else matters.
man, love is just a feeling. it comes and goes. it's just that i have yet find the one that comes and stay.
that'll be nice. (: God knows i'll do anything for him/her. because you make me weak, and i just want to care and protect you.
although i may be a bitch sometimes, but please understand i'm still a girl. at the end of the day, no matter whose fault is it,
i'll just say i'm sorry for my immaturity, because i don't want to lose you.
i don't like guys who doesn't fight for what they want. okay not like doing scheming stuff and get it at the end of the day by doing all those.
if you were in my shoes what will you do when two of them say the same thing "it's okay, i'm fine with it, it doesnt matter if you choose him over me, just know that i'll be by your side"
it's something like "your mom and girlfriend is drowning, both of them can't swim, and there's only you around who would you save" (AH-HUH, thought you can say things like "ask someone else to save your girlfriend or my mom can swim when i say "if both of them are drowning, who would you save?) yah what do you want me to say or do.
no commitments, but i don't do two timing. one is enough.
i don't like it when you don't show interest when i get all excited.
i don't like it when you don't tell me things and all the sudden you tell me when you already did it and i'm like what?
i don't like it when you say things but don't mean it.
i don't like the feeling that i'm being used.
i don't like how i tell you my problems you don't really care, you just cared that i'm unofficially yours.
i don't like the fact that you think that it's a small problem that's easily sloved
i don't like the fact that you walked out because i kept saying i don't want any. when in actual fact i just didn't want to go for the wrong one.
i didn't like the fact of how lousy i felt i was when you tell me things.
i didn't like the fact that i can't say all those things i say to my partner, because i'll think of the other's feeling.
i don't like the feeling that im not being loved.
i didn't wanna hurt anyone, and all those things i said about myself to make you walk out, although it hurts, but i don't wan to hurt you, so it's best that you leave. it hurts. but i'm gonna end up losing interest in you, it's better to let go now than later.
i don't like so many things about you.
but i simply just don't care, because we're all humans.
God puts us in situations that we can handle, so is this the right one?
i'm going through this alone, and you're not helping, you'll just happy by the fact that we're "together"
weren't love meant to be simple ? it is. when it's only just THE one.
i don't know why i always get myself in this kind of shit. yups at the end of a day, i'll just go for a girl (:
i say all those is because i want to see how you handle things, i want to see if you're worth it to just go for you.
but i guess i was wrong. toodleoo then.
fuck my eye infection that has been going on for two days. sucks to have red eyes.
and i♥you, had, have, having to. what matters most, is that i won't hurt you.
whoops.

monday blues

2010-09-20T21:23:00.012+08:00

you know what? i'm getting lazy to blog. because year two pretty much busy, and there's nothing exciting going on in my life. just complexity. like how i fall for people easily and just snap, i lose interest after awhile. {: i'm just glad i made it clear that, yes i do like you, and no i don't want to go into a relationship. once bitten twice shy. don't go thinking, aiyah valerie always said she will never get into another relationship, after awhile she got herself into one. this time im serious, and it pisses me off when people don't believe me. If it's that way, i've already would have been in a relationship. being hurt, hurting my partner is not what i want, i believe i suck at relationships, and i'm not ready for one. i'm sorry, it's just that i got my heart broken, real badly, i'm afraid to take another step. not now, until i feel that it's right. i kinda get this feeling I'll stay single for awhile. i mean i'm already busy with life, i don't think i have the time {; i love my dear girl, she's awesome.

she's the one in the middle. {: the one on my right is yvonne, my maid. I'M JUST KIDDING!

Just a short update on the past few days.
FRIDAY! - Sewing class. my teacher is super loooooooooong winded. like super to the max until you feel like killing yourself. apparently, we ended class early that day. what a miracle. and i went dinner with my second family, leah's family. lol. at rendezvous hotel. don't eat the buffet there. NOT NICE and it's like $50? not worth your cash, seriously. bought my Dracula book, finally. I initially wanted to report to the library that i lost the Dracula book, but i had to pay about $37? for it. holy crap. so i decided to try my luck at times, and i got it for $20.87. went home, alex (not cheah, chia) came over to watch some mooooviesss, and left pretty late ? i forgot the timing, i was quite tired. it was past my bed time. {:

if you haven't seen sewing machines that can actually eat your hands, well you'll gonna see some now.

yah i'm just kidding about the "eat your hand" part, you can try though. (:
the machine amazed me, VERY much. i mean look at the number of threads that goes into and out of the machine. where the fuck does all the thread goes to, as in how the hell do you thread inside of the machine. trust me you don't want to be there when the one of the threads break. if i was using it and the thread breaks i'll be like "Holy fuck, what just happened? i heard a snap. *looks at the snap thread* i think i must be dreaming this *stand up and walks away* yes i'm dreaming, i ain't gonna thread that"

SATURDAY - eh? i think i stayed home the whole day? it seems like i've been going out alot? just felt like staying home and do nothing. i was so lazy to start on my work. GHOST WHISPERER NEXT WEEK LAST EPISODE. D: i am NOT happy. i missed so many episodes. ):

SUNDAY - I WORKED! did my pattern drafting (and almost died! i was stuck most of the time) i closed the shop at 7.30? Stella was sick, so she couldn't make it back.

I went like wtf? i swear to God, this is so cute and so sweet, i feel as though there's a hidden agenda in it. {: nevertheless my boss is so cute, she get stress over nothing. and she'll be like "i'm so stress i'm so stress" when really, it's nothing to stress about. hehe, i'm working next Sunday too. she'll be closing her stall at the end of the month, she's going over to msia to start business. SAD UH! ):

went to Vivo to meet blackie. HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY BESTFRIEND WHO SUCKS BALLS. ((((: watched grown ups. fucking funny movie. i laughed really really hard. omg. it's really damn funny. AND OMG I swear Jamie Chung and Madison Riley are damn fucking HOT. like OMG, HOT.

(:

SHETERDAY - it's the third weekend. i think i slept through it because i don't remember what happened on that day. i wonder.. lol (: it's valerie's make up third weekend. you say it like this SHIT-TER-DAY. cool yah ? (: i know. (:

THEN COMES MONDAYYYYY!
the first day of the week. although lesson is like not that bad. you'll still feel sian because it's four days away from the weekends! oh tuesday's the worst. why? first 3 hours is some naggy teacher who nags at everything and anything, i meant that literally. the next 2hours is the teacher who PSM alot. you talk back, all hell break loose. and if you can't take it, you'll cry. i'm used to them. lol. all you have to do is say "yes" "okay" "i get you" and you're good. textile was funny because we heard alot of stories on students my teacher told us.
here's some funny ones.
There was one student who drew illustration and coloured the eye red. like the white colour part of your eye, she coloured it red. My teacher asked why she said because she only had red colour pencil. - seriously, i couldn't stop laughing! OMG! she could have just leave it as it is and not colour. HAHAHAHHA!

A male student forgets to bring his pencil case. my teacher was like "if you don't have a pencil how am i going to draw for you" he said okay he'll try looking again. he couldn't find it and hands my teacher something "i'm sorry teacher, i didn't bring my pencil, you an use my eyebrown pencil" and he was being serious. EPIC SIO! and he started taking the plastic out from the pencil. best part is, he didnt realised he could have just turned and borrowed pencil from his friends. LOL

last one, my teacher was saying how a student couldn't draw outfits. and she started drawing what her student draw. it was like shapes, rectangle, and trapeze shape stick together to form a dress, damn fail can! and a skirt which looks like a lantern with mermaid tail. LOL. wonder how she passed the entrance test!

you wanna hear some gory ones?
there was this student who was sewing her outfit. the needle penetrated through her finger. at the middle of the nail, and you can see the tip of the needle at the other end of her finger. the best part is, she still can take the screw driver and screw out the needle. she didn't felt the pain until she got the needle out of the machine. the image got stuck in my head for quite some time. EWWW. imagine the needle penetrates your finger, and the needle is at the bobbin case, there is no way you can screw the needle out of the machine. ohgod. the pain!

another one.
a student had a cut on her finger. she's those type that cannot see blood if not she will faint. it was a 1cm cut. she went down to get a plaster. she coudln't take it and fainted. her teeth hit the lift door. she was bleeding. one of her tooth went inwards. and the other broke. i think it broke. not too sure. she went to the toilet to clean herself up, her face and lips were pale white. OMG! right? ewww

and yah. that was today. walked around town with my girl (:
went home to sleep. two idiots called me while i was sleeping. one was alex and adeline, asked me to hang out until 11. another one was naz, and i swear i wanted to scold him, he called just to ask me how much is the cloth which he did the other day. OKAY TIME FOR WORK! BYEZ

2010-09-17T13:02:00.003+08:00

i'm one step closer!
shall update laterrr. time to go for school. AH SIAN.

you gave me a pleasant surprise, you held my hand, and we ran. I didn't know where we were going, i couldn't care less. I just wanted that moment to last, and i was happy. It was all just a dream. You were all i ever wanted, and needed. But you don't feel the same. fuck this feeling.

oops.

2010-09-14T23:58:00.015+08:00

woah. how time flies like, SUPER fast. just realized i haven't blogged for 1 month 10 days. that's like 41 days. which is like 984 hours. 59040 mins! okay you get my point. anw, i was rather busy last month. rushing through EVERYTHING. which was mad crazy. and still my work look like crap. ohoh alot of shits happened. but i don't really remember. ): just to update last week. i worked at ICK for 5 days. and STELLA'S MAD DIRTY AND MESSY! cannot stand it. the moment i started working, i had to sweep and mop the God damn floor. it's like MY GOD, DON'T YOU EVER MOPPPPPPPPP! why is it SO BLACK! wtf did you stepped on! JESUS CHRIST! lol. and i was pretty much lazy to do my projects. hello they took our another one week of break out, we initially had two bloody weeks. ): how sad! OMG! okay i just need to tank 2 more months! monday was awesome.
i got down and dirty!

proof!

they had a special machine to imprint your print onto the screen. my teacher said the strong light can actually blind a person. and i was scheming in my head. told my gf, just pull him here and open the lid and make sure he sees the light. he'll go blind. lol. my teacher said im damn evil. LOL, and also she has the right to call the police if anyone tries to do that. hehe.

cool yah ? (: i asked my dear teacher if someone eats the paint will they die from it. she said no. i was quite sad, if not i'll bake cupcakes and use the paint as an icing. (: my hands got damn dirty, yes im a messy person, and again i asked my teacher, will i get a bad tummy ache if i lick my fingers cause it's damn dirty. she said, no and why do you wanna torture yourself so much. i simply reply, oh cause i don't wanna go to school tomorrow. she questioned me, you didn't finish vik's work right? me: hehe, yah. (:
i love her. she's so nice. i hope she doesn't tell him what i said about him. if not i'm BASTURD!

that's my knit wear project. looks like you wear it to sleep! and it's so soft!. lol

some of my tie dyes!

a cozy cafe opp plaza sing spot light. (:

admit it it's damn cool. i wanna buy one for my mc but there are so many designs to choose from! i'm spoilt for choices! from etsy.com love the web!

freaking awesome right! i'm so going to get it (: still waiting for my iphone4 ): waiting uh.

don't you just love my key board now ? mad awesome. (: got it at a shop at POMO. pomo is next to peace centre. POMO is also next to SOTA! the incredibly HUGE AWESOME looking school. my school cannot be compared with SOTA. lol.

i'll keep your heart close to mine. So please don't say good bye.

i found someone who is gonna reincarnate into a pig

2010-08-04T21:22:00.017+08:00

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY POST! TO MY DEAREST JOCELYN. actually can cheat loh, just change the date, but im damn lazy

just as my title says. i found someone who will reincarnate into a pig in his next life, that some one is DONOVAN LIM YI HENG! the bloody trouble maker who spat at me during my lower secondary school years (which i dont remember, that's what samuel says, so i trust his words. but apparently donovan don't remember too and says sam has a weird memory. and i remembered smashing an egg into donovan's head, which he dont remember either, fucking pig's brain can.)
he's messages don't link either. example.
Valerie: Cause i dont love him anymore? since you want love. you can have him. haha, you die first, you go to hell, ask the hell person to let you reborn into a pig with your name as a birth mark so that i know it's you
(okay before that we were talking about him getting a iphone 4, and i told him sun bian buy me a bb. he say where he get the money, i told him from his next life when he becomes a pig, slaughtered then got money.)
Donovan: :( fine lo. Name as birthmark eh. Every sunday :)
so i asked him, what sunday ? he say i stupid. I ASK YOU WHAT'S THE DAMN LINK!
another one.
Valerie: Sorry my phone sot. Got your number but not your name. anw, ohhh donovan, the pig brain one.
Donovan: i love You too darling. And no i never send wrong.
Valerie: sorry i don't like pork. lol. you're so sweet but im not your ex.
FUCKING NO LINK.
not yet reincarnate into a pig yet already have a pig's brain. fucking sad, his life.

MONDAY'S CLASS

i know mine look like some kid's one, look at the others, so pretty...

LUNCH AND DINNER

AT MAD JACK DOWN AT POMO! the fish and chips not that nice, but big portion. mine was the grill fish with cream sauce. not that nice. it taste okay.

THIS IS WHY YOU SHOULD HAVE SIBLINGS WHO WORKS IN A F&B OUTLET. FREEE FOOOOD!

this is what happens when you're hungry and there's no food in the fridge to whip up a meal.

LAST WEEK'S WORK! SO KIDDDDDDY RIGHT???

Black Mud Body Wrap from the dead sea.

i decided to give it a try. once a week. can last for months. will let you know the results! and i only paid 50$ for it.
i got it somewhere in vivo. those ulu bridge link one loh. then Plaza Sing has one also B1 i think.

got it from puddingstore at http://www.etsy.com/

THAT'S ALL FOR TODAY! I MUST EAT MORE FISH SO THAT I CAN HAVE BETTER MEMORY! leah said i should drink zhu nao tang. in chinese it sounds okay, but in english. it's like YUCKS. pig's brain soup. EESH. and i saw on tv, that frozen green tea bags helps with eye bags. i saw it on channel 5, the doctors. where there are doctors giving advice and stuff. yah!

i miss being able to love someone unconditionally.

2010-08-01T22:28:00.002+08:00

yes i do miss those time where i put my whole life/time aside just because i love someone.
But i've never really had someone who does half of what i do or half of what i want.
i just want someone who is on my level. who knows when to stop. who is able to tell that enough is enough. who knows how to make me smile on my hardest days. who is able to look after me and hold me close when i'm straying out of path. i do not need to see you everyday, i do not need to text you every single second. as long as you know how to show that you love me, that you are able to look after me because im not as strong as i look like i am. who is able to be there when i'm afraid. who is able to kiss me on the cheek and hug me when i'm crying. who does the sweetest thing because you love me, not because of special occasions. I'm waiting for my Mr. Special, if i have to wait my whole life for you, i will. because it's worth waiting for someone you can share your life with, for all eternity.
i'm sad to say, someone who doesn't bore me. i'm really sorry to say it, it's just me, i don't really like boring people because im someone who wants excitements, surprises and lots of joy and laughter. someone who can be my best buddy and a boyfriend.
As audrey's blog posting, and i got it from Facebook because audrey disabled the copy function

When she stares at your mouth
Kiss her

When she pushes you or hits you like a dummie cause she thinks shes
stronger than you
Grab her and dont let go

When she starts cursing at you trying to act all tough
Kiss her and tell her you love her

When she's quiet
Ask her whats wrong

When she ignores you
Give her your attention

When she pulls away
Pull her back

When you see her at her worst
Tell her she's beautiful

When you see her start crying
Just hold her and don't say a word

When you see her walking
Sneak up and hug her waist from behind

When she's scared
Protect her

When she steals your favorite hoodie
Let her keep it and sleep with it for a night

When she teases you
Tease her back and make her laugh

When she doesn't answer for a long time
reassure her that everything is okay

When she looks at you with doubt
Back yourself up

When she says that she loves you
she really does more than you can understand

When she grabs at your hands
Hold her's and play with her fingers

When she bumps into you;
bump into her back and make her laugh

When she tells you a secret
keep it safe and untold

When she looks at you in your eyes
dont look away until she does

When she says it's over
she still wants you to be hers

When she reposts this bulletin
she wants you to read it

- Stay on the phone with her even if she's not saying anything

- When she's mad hug her tight and don't let go

- When she says she's ok don't believe it, talk with her because ten years later she'll remember you

- Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her

-Treat her like she's all that matters to you

- Stay up all night with her when she's sick

- Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think it's stupid

- Give her the world.

- Let her wear your clothes

-When she's bored and sad, hang out with her

-Let her know she's important.

- Don't talk about other girls around her

- Kiss her in the pouring rain

- When she runs up to you crying, the first thing you say is:
"Whose ass am i kicking baby?"

Don't be with someone just because you think he is the one you can spend your whole life with. be with someone because you are beyond sure that he is the one.
i just want to apologise to all my past boyfriend for being unreasonable, selfish, asking to much and also arguing over stupid little things. i'm truly sorry.
as for now, if the person doesn't interest me anymore, i wouldn't want to stick with him anymore. it's not that i want it, it's just ME.
and is it weird, i like to smell guys with men's perfume on. i really really like to smell them. not weird right ? lol

a little too much of stitch

2010-07-31T14:38:00.014+08:00

did i ever mention that i was a stitch fan? like since i was 15? so long right? and i thought im those kind who will start to lose interest in things after some time. you call that the san fen huo du right? sadly if things dont interest me anymore i will dump it aside. therefore i like to know about things which i don't know, widen my knowledge. imagine how high i was when i went to HK with ivan during the stitch festival in disney land. HAHA! i practically went to every gift shop over there looking at stitch stuff!! and i just got myself a stitch file for 5.90$ not expensive okay. right? ---> self doubt.

LOOK LOOK, when you turn it over!

it's SCRUMP!

OHMYGOD CUTE RIGHT! i got it at Plaza Sing. it's near/opposite Diaso! i think. somewhere in the corner lah. they bring in alot of disney stuff. animes. it's a small shop full of cute and somehow expensive stuff. from stationaries to wallets. i wanted to get so many stitch stuff, like the stitch wallet that shaped somewhat like the minions. lol. and a tin pencil case. but i figured i do not need it because i already have a stitch pencil case which i got it from HK.

the head is detachable. how cool is that!

i got this long ago just that i didn't have a chance to use it, because i dont have a card slot. sorry leah i can't use yours cause there's no hole, i'll find a way to use it though. lol.

SEWNG CLASS ON FRIDAY!

isn't it pretty! ohmygod i cannot stop saying how pretty it is!

my nerdy days..

that's my girlfriend, Leah, she think she's some sort of dinosaur. LOL. im just joking, she'll sure to kill me on monday. but who cares, it's funny. ROAR, IM A DINOSAUR! ---> leah saying that not me.

Leah doesn't like people taking picture of her, so i secretly took this. HAH, PLAN DIDN'T FAIL! whee. of cause she knew it. and she told me we dont have alot of pictures together. that's because i don't really take pictures. it didnt come across my mine to take a picture. sorry im not girlie enough. but i took one on friday!

SEE I TOOK ONE WITH US! LOL.
and sewing class was fun for the first half. they next half i almost went insane because of the stupid roll hem! i keep unpicking and sewing. so frustrating! I ALMOST KICKED THE GOD DAMN SEWING MACHINE! i was swearing and cursing at the sewing machine. so much for cutting down on my vulgarities. but i seriously cut down alot. (: GOOD FOR ME.
went clubbing after. i had the very sian feeling. but last night was fun because i was half drunk. i still know what i'm doing just that i can't think straight. my mind just went blank. i figured if i was drunk i probably will be really quiet and i'll drop down to the floor and sleep. and i thought i was going to puke real badly. because whenever i take in alcohol i'll vomit. no matter how much the percentage of alcohol. weak right? but i didn't even puke. i intake about 3 cups? and drank 5 seconds worth of pure alcohol. yah the pure one didnt taste that hot, and it somehow reminds me of licorice. yah. i thought i was going to vomit out my 3 chicken wings, my pastamania and my frozen yoghurt. BUT I DIDNT! i was slightly drank. like when you push me i can fall, real easily. not drunk yet. i just felt like dancing the night away. HAHA. i guess that's how im like when im a little drunk. and right now im really drained out! and i have to do my projects. damn sian!

let's play a little game. let's play can you spot the ebi.

can you? dawn was so upset when she saw her ebi. LOL. ebi is prawn right ? lol

i got addicted to the two songs above yo.

i'm feeling a little upset at the moment. well life's like that

a little taste of fashion school.

2010-07-29T20:35:00.006+08:00

okay i guess i'll just blog once a week? there's really nothing much to blog about. second week of school. OHMYGOSH, super sian. when it's the long holiday, you wished that school would start. but when school starts, you wish you're having your holidays now. (: let's just say year 2 ain't that bad at all. monday - Pattern making (super boring modules) 3hours. & Textile (all the hands on work, like dying of fabric and prints) 2hours. tuesday - Fashion Design 3hours and Research 2hours. (THE DAY OF HELL, one of them is so naggy and nothing is to his liking and he scolds like crazy. and the other is the DM, super strict) i have to drag my feet to school every tuesdays. wednesday - Elective i'm learning guitar, how cool is that? 1hour. thursday - Research (join the year one because i got an E. sian) 2hours. Computerize 2hours. Draping 2hours. friday - sewing 3hours.
not so bad hor my school schedule. Leah told me some time back that her friend kena angelin for fashion design class, I WAS LIKE WTF SOOOOO LUCKYYYYYY!!!! she's a SUPER duper NICE teacher. i love her so much! though i only been in her class thrice. lol. then as i went to check the time table for the year ones, it's all vik lim. then i giggled abit. i know lah damn mean. lol. leah later then tell me her friend's in fashion merchandising. vik's class, they are going to go through hell when the designing part comes. and the class was quite big, the year one i meant, year 2, sure half the class drop. WANNNNA BET. lol. just a little bit of year twoooo..

does the pictures make you wanna go to a fashion school? i suggest, if you come to NAFA, keep persevering! you die then die loh, resurrect yourself and chiong again. LIKE ME! die don't know how many times already! but i still want to do it. there will be times where you feel like giving up, DONT. for me, i keep telling myself, it's what i really want to do, it's my dream. i want to turn my dream into reality. a little secret, sometimes before i sleep i would always imagine myself as a famous fashion designer, my master pieces on the model walking down the runway with all the other future super famous fashion designer. (: yups. there WILL be times where you're so stress up you just dont feel like doing it! trust me i've been there, MANY TIMES. can ask leah, i keep telling her i don't want to do this anymore. but she keep saying don't give up, which really helped alot. thank you for being such a great girlfriend! sometimes we would even emo TOGETHER. LOL. telling each other how much we dont feel like doing it anymore. and look, we're still doing it. LOL. (: i can honestly tell you. year one, mostly on the theory, hands on not much. kinda sucks right? hang on, year two is gonna be fun. (: i've been through hell, so can you!

speaking of school. CATHAY OPENED FROLICK. HAPPINESS. i think last week, i had frolick three days straight. lol. the cravings. im not pregnant. and which reminds me of my conversation with leah.
Valerie: you know now you can see alot or Koreans, and if you don't listen properly you think they're from China because of the accent, the way they speak. *acting out the accent*
Leah: yah loh.
*skipped a few lines*
Leah: they are like mountain China.
Valerie: yah loh.
*pause for awhile*
Valerie: what the hell is a mountain China? mountain tortoise is it?
Leah: ya, i forgot.
*we both laughed*
Valerie: i can't believe i stupidly agreed with you.
this is what happens when you stick we interesting people, you get lots of laughter.
and i remembered calling a seahorse a horse fish. and i was with alex. it took me quite some time to realised it's not called a horse fish. and that bastard alex just stared at me and didn't want to correct me! lol. ass.

INTRODUCING.....
MY MEGA ULTRA SHORT LEGGGGSSSS

my legs are shorter than leah's but im 1cm taller than her. YES 1 CM I ALSO WANT TO COUNT CAN! 1CM MAKES ALOT OF DIFFERENCE CAN! I CAN GLADY SAY... i am TALLER than you by 1 cm. TALLER. makes me feel tall. LOL. seriously like kids leg. super short. i only realised my legs were so short when i was toning at Joce place with alex. alex and i were sitting on the couch, then i just lift my legs up from the ground 90degrees and realised my legs are damn short. i asked alex and he too agreed saying it's super short! soon after i forgot i got short legs until a week ago when i was sitting beside Willie in the mrt station. i lift my legs up from the grounds and realised it's super short. i kept lifting off and putting my legs down. cause it's quite fun and interesting to see that my legs are so short! and i was like, look at my shorts legs. lol. yups, today leah saw my legs when i lifted it while sitting, she said my legs were short and we compared. damn effing short can. took a pictureee above!!! ((:

oh i so don't feel like going to club tomorrow. but it's jocelyn's birthday. OHSIAN. to the clubbing part i meant. i know i have the clubber's face. but FOR.YOUR.INFO i don't club. i don't like clubbing. i dont see why must i dance the night away when i can sleep and ensure my face doesnt have pimple outbreaks. oh the sian-ness im feeling now. i'll sure feel tired after 2am. -.- i really dont wish to go. but i have to. please dont ask me out on sat because after clubbing i'll be heading home to sleep and then do all my projects! do it fast, no more last min work. and i found a web that reads what you are like, your character. trust me it's more than a horoscope. it's damn effing long. here you go, i just read it for fun, you should too. http://astro.cafeastrology.com/cgi-bin/astro/natal if you wanna know mine, name: valerie. birthday: 8 april 1991, time of birth: 1.10PM. Place of birth: singapore i am really somewhat like that except im very patient. i like to read and then laugh at it because it's somewhat true and all those negative parts, i self-pity myself. LOL. i feel so sad for myself. lol! like certain sentences
"Although rather sociable, they are often loners at heart."
"It can be difficult to know just how sensitive to criticism Lunar Aquarians are, simply because they hide it so well!"
so sad hor? you hurt me you also won't know. i cannot take criticism. ):
"she is eccentric, with sharp mood swings. Complex love life."
SO DONT MESS WITH ME! I MOOD SWING YOU PREPARE TO GO TO HELL, PACK YOUR LUGGAGE.
AND IM OFTEN QUITE CHARMING. LOL
*charms you*
and i love this phrase
"She may work in a trade linked to beauty, fashion" *thumbs up*
aiyah there's so much to read. go type and find out. (:
CIAOS.
so tired. i curse the SBS and SMRT to go to hell. bus fare so fucking expensive. what pay by distance. damn bull shit. i travel one bus stop like very near (i lazy to walk can!) 71c. i travel down to harbour front about 4 - 5 stops 71c. wtf really? last time i travel $10 enough for a week. now, 3 days 10$ no more. seriously. wtf.

Fashion

2010-07-25T10:16:00.013+08:00

i just want to share some pretty fashion to you guyyyyssss. (:
i'm pretty sure i'm taking the right course, fashion designing, because i think of fashion and also designing day in and day out. I don't love fashion itself i also love how you can use things that are not related to fashion and use it as an inspiration to come up with a design. Fashion is part of me, for life, it'll always be. if only i can love someone that long too. lol.
anw i want to talk about my mum, i know she reads my blog cause she told me i used too much vulgarities in my blog. mum just for you, YOU SUCK. no i'm just kidding. i love you (: then again, i can never know what the hell you're thinking in your head. like, example, last night, talk so loud, on purpose. say i keep spending money, accuse me of lying, say i take your money not to buy books (wtf really) and to buy clothes. yes of cause im piss, but i forgive you because you stop menstruating (which is also know as menopause aka the nagging age), and you're becoming like ah ma, need to nag at something.
and FIY design books AIN'T CHEAP! one can cost 30+++ to 60+++ and i need to get like 4 books? and also materials! you gave me cash YESTERDAY. i went shopping THE DAY BEFORE YESTERDAY! SO I ASK YOU HOW I SPEND THE MONEY!?? HOW HOW HOW! NO LOGIC! AIYOH! mummies are like aliens. really.
when you're younger, like say 7, your mummy tells you
Mum:"ah girl ah (of cause my mum don't say that) you need to learn to save money, then you next time can buy your own things.
Kid: "okay!"
*goes to the bookshop in school**see something pretty but useless**buys it*
Mum: "so did you save money?"
Kid: "I DID! 10CENTS LOH!" *the proud of oneself face*
and then when you grow up, you save, you get your pay you just want to shop because you didn't shop for 4 MONTHS! 4 MONTHS! i repeat 4 MONTHS! and you just want to shop... you come home...
Mum: "Spend spend spend, everyday buy clothes. cupboard no space still buy. don't know how to save. give you money buy books, take the money buy clothes"
i really cannot stand when she accuse me of taking the books money to buy clothes. again, she gave it to me yesterday, i went shopping the day BEFORE yesterday. i don't know how she count one you know. like yesterday is longer than the day before yesterday. oh wait maybe that's her alien time set, maybe. i bet your mum is like that too. LOL. aliens. next time, if you wanna be a good kid, dont buy anything, use those brown boxes to cover yourself. if not you buy just 1 top, she'll start nagging. AH MA LIAO! sian, now i have two ah ma at home. like one is not enough like that.
and i just remembered something i told joce yesterday, she found it damn funny, which i find it okay. so here goes.
Valerie:"God, it's Barney. If my kid ever sing the Barney song i'll slap his face"
Joce:"haha yah loh. *do the slapping action*"
Valerie: "imagine your kid just wants to irritate you. Just sing the barney song can liao"
Joce and me: "Barney is a dinosaur, he's our imagination. Then i don't know how it goes anymore"
Valerie: Imagine this"
*please turn on your imagination*
Kid: "mum... can i go for the camp?"
mum: "No"
kid: "please???? WHY NOT??? PLEASE"
mum: "NO means NO"
*Kid with the ultra sad face*
Kid:"Barney is a dinosaur, he's out imagination...."
*if im the kids mum. I'll mf-ing slap his face until he flies to somewhere.*
like barney is not irritating enough.

I have to apologise, im lazy so i didnt do the make up. sometime soooon i guesss sometime next weeeeeek. (: partly cause i forgot. partly cause im lazy. partly cause im busy. lol.
DONT WATCH BLOOD PLEDGE. it wasn't good at all. :) im proud to say i kept my eyes open most of the time. i do not like to watch horror films in the cinema because it's dark. it cultivates fear in you. and maybe it's just me because im afraid of the dark. but yah, when the movie started i was damn scared can! dont remember when's the last time i watched a horror film in the cinema. and fiy i always cover my ears with my index fingers and shut my eyes when ever the scary part is coming. lol. i know waste money. but gordon, dawn's bf, humji dont wanna watch with her, then she has to ask another humji one to watch with her, which is me. okay not as humji as gordon, half half okay. the ghost not scary loh, very bloody only. ALRIGHT! HUNGRY waiting for fooooood. then going to central library to me BLACK, to do my homeworkkkkkkkkk. oh the sian-sation.

after a tired week

2010-07-20T19:57:00.002+08:00

i feel as though my stomach is a bottomless pit. because yesterday, i ate lots of rice then i went to nap, 3hours later i woke up and ate again and went back to sleep. eh yah, pig. need to run tomorrow! and also, i ate 1 chicken puff from 7-11 1hour before eating a full meal + 1.5 bowl of snow ice and i was still craving for frolick. or something to put in my mouth. lol. i got something today as well.

okay i'm going to be annoying. see if you can spot what am i being annoying at.
a few days back there was this cute guy who came to buy ice cream from me and then being a promoter i said "Hi, homemade ice cream" and then he said "what flavour do you like" and then i said happily "Oh i love the cookies and cream" and then he said he'll have that and then i said with a shock face "are you sure i'll let you try first" and then he said it's okay he'll just get the flavour i like and then i said nono you have to try first and he agreed. i let him try it and also recommend me to try cookie monster, which i let him try after cookies and cream and then he said he'll get both, double scoop. i asked in a cup or cone he said "cone". he kept looking and smiling at me, oh i was like OHMYGOSH you're so sweet and you have dimples. of cause i didn't say that la. haha, and then i forgot to ask for his number. LOL. but doesn't matter. (:

CAN YOU SPOT! you read sure pek-chek "and then" "and then" hahahha. when i was having lesson just now, my teacher was like "please do not use annoying sentences like "and then.... and then.... and then... it's so annoying" and i just felt like being annoying.

i love caucasian, they are so friendly. lol. really. i had this lady old enough to be my mum, she winked at me when i smiled at her, i didn't approach her reason being she was listening to music, so i just smiled at her and she smiled back and winked at me. hahah got another one also, he winked at me, ps he is old. lol. and there was one Guy, look like those biker type, he got plaits one okay, i didn't dare approach him cause he looked scary... so i just smiled at him.. and he smiled at me and said "keep smiling" with his two hands shaped like a gun. hehe. cute. made my day. i was working mostly morning shift so i get to see lots of cute babies. and one i touched, 10 months old only. SO CUTE eyes so big, chubby cheeks and sucking on the pacifier. SO CUTE. aiyehhhh.. oh and zoe tay bought ice cream!! AIYAH but she was like in a bad mood. her kid was so hyper she got a little moody and she's pregnant.

well working there was awesome, my 3 days of work became close to 2 weeks. i just dont love the part where i can't scoop ice cream because i sprained my wrist.

school just started. today's the second day. not too bad. year 1 = you will die. year two not so hiong, more hands on work (: definitely way better. saw some of the year one student, so many! surely the numbers will dropppp. soooon. yeah. (:
as for make up i'll do it on friday or sat (: stay tune!

dead tired.

2010-07-15T09:45:00.002+08:00

i haven't blog in a week? let's just say it has been the most tiring week ever. esp after a late night movie after work, reaching home near 1am and sleep at 1.40am and eh wake up at 7am for work the next day. i would really like to use the word "shag" since everyone is using it but shag means
v. shagged , shag·ging , shags Chiefly British Vulgar Slang

v. tr.
To engage in sexual intercourse with.
v. intr.
To engage in sexual intercourse.
YAH im not making this up, got it from the dictionary. Cause when i was younger when i used the word shagged my friend was like jokingly said so you had too much sex. or something like that.

I WIDE AWAKE NOW! cause i slept alot. yesterday i ended work at 4pm, went to school to pay the miscellaneous fees (sian) $45 gone, some more i use my own money can! chicken.
and my mum went to Aussie. on tuesday morning, she'll be back on friday night. will miss her to the max. so the household chore me and my 3rd brother has to do it. my elder brother's working, and my 4th brother is eh... not into household chores. i came back yesterday feeling drained out. went to have an hour of nap. woke up only to do household work okay. i sweep, mop and iron the clothes. my younger brother did the laundry. how sweet. like like a mother can, my 4th brother age 14, not even home and it's 10 plus i had to sms him. "10 plus liao. tomorrow got school right? come home (:" lol. then he replied "okay" you know what time he come home. 11 plus. lol. whee after all the housework i went to sleep. OH I WATCHED DESPICABLE ME! FUNNY MOVIE. everyone should watch it. yesterday's sales was okay okay even though i didn't promote because i was super tired and i've been yawning throughout! imagine so tired still must stand 6hours. lol. actually standing is nothing lah. OH YAH YAH my mum went to Aussie to attend a funeral. so sad really. her best friend suicide. she was suffering from depression. didn't want to take medication. the police found her car in the river bank with two notes one saying "i'm sorry" another saying "i'm a idiot". effing sad right? i was so upset you know. this kind of thin actually happened to someone i know. ): i could have been in Perth! cause my mum was like saying "if i strike lottery i bring you with me." lol. if lottery was so easy to strike everyone would have own their own private housing!

okay will post when i have the time about this very impatient caucasian guy i came across. he said i had service when the actual fact is he don't listen. fucker. type next time need to bathe go for a jog then go find joce for lunch then head down to central library to get my reserved book. (: ciao~

i fucking fell for the wrong guy, and i still do like him. fuck. i wish to stop having a soft spot for him.

im so sleepy

2010-07-06T17:17:00.002+08:00

i'm so very sleepy. think i'll take an afternoon nap. fine, it's near evening. i think i'll take an evening nap. wake up at 7 to eat and sleep at 9/10pm. need to wake up early tomorrow for work. will be ALOOOONNNEEE.
i saw this kid. DAMN CUTE. two chubby cheeks, big eyes. like around 2-3 years old. two pony tails and bangs. SO CUTE! she was like "i want strawberry." but too bad no strawberry ice cream. so she had the vanilla. (:
i'm so sleepy. dont understand why. i sleep too much? i sleep to little ? or im just going to die? lol. halfway through promoting, i was thinking of food and i stopped approaching people to try stella's home made ice cream. when you're feeling hungry you think of nothing but "what should i eat". and i learn a new word todaaayyyy. Hunky Dory. i betcha dounch knoee what that means. it means a Hunky dory fish.. yumyum... foood. haha, it means Okay, satisfactory. see you learn something new everyday. like how to scoop ice cream. (: i love my current job... because... i love ice cream! but i ain't like png... "oooooouuuu, i cream *grabs a spoon and scoop some ice cream for herself*" pig. lol. i nnnnneeeeeeeddddddddd ssssoooooommmmmeeee ssssaaallllleeeesss sooooo if you happen to be there. please do drop by, you'll see me approaching you and say "you son of a bitch where have you been!" nono im just kidding i'll just go "homemade ice cream, free tasting. would you like to try some?"
some people are reallly reallllly damn bitch. you talk to them they don't even bother looking at you, they just walk as though you're invisible and then i'll be like "hi, homemade ice cream *my words fading already" and i'll be smiling but deep down inside i'm like KNN! hope all your pubic hair drop!.... wait that's a good thing right ? so they wont have to go for Brazilian waxing. yah i should change my thinking to.. KNN! hope later when another promoter approach you, you roll your eyes, your eyes goes kuku and rolls all the way back. home. "home" is just an extra word, you know "all the way home" im so sleepy my brain's going kuku. some people are just plain weird, you talk to them they just look right at you and continue walking, without saying a word. i hate it when some people do not have manners, just say no thank you. very hard is it ? KNN you fail oral is it? three words also so hard to say. next time how to find boyfriend/girlfriend.

boyfriend: babe, i love you.
girlfriend: *trying to say those words out*
bf: what's wrong babe.
gf: KNN! F**KYOU! YOU KNOW HOW HARD IS IT TO SAY THOSE FREAKING THREE WORDS
(and you actually know how to say 17 words)
bf: why is "no thank you" so hard to say?
okay i know no link, but it links to my no thank you part. (:

some people are just plain arrogant, like ice cream is too low class for them.
ice cream lovers please do visit for GREAT ice cream, details of place is at my previous post (just at the bottom)

yes im going to napppp. might have some ice cream tomorrrrrooooowwww.....

Ice cream kingdom

2010-07-05T20:58:00.007+08:00

Hey guys, i'll be working at Ice cream kingdom for three days!!
6th which is tomorrow, 0930 - 1530
7th, 0930 - 1530
8th - 1530 until closing.
It's at TAKA outside cold storage. they will only be there for two weeks before they head back to their shop.
DO VISIT!!! it's homemade ice cream. Low in sugar, Low fat and they use Meiji Skimmed milk!! YES SO YOU CAN EAT WITHOUT FEELING GUILTY!! and there's free tasting. I LOVE THEIR ICE CREAM! so if you're there just pop by an try okay ?
more details at http://www.facebook.com/pages/Singapore/Ice-Cream-Kingdom/330895690739 THANK YOU!

i'm so sleepy at the moment.. and lazy to blog.
i tried something new on sat. like a different way to put on make up. and it turned out really pretty.

will blog how i did it in future okay ((: it'll be fun

this is me without makeup...

this is me with my previous make up...

so no difference right?

this is with the new way of putting my make up on

it makes your eyes look bigger right? i likey likey. look like a japanese girl. stupid jocelyn said i look like an ah lian. i beg to differ. hehe. anw. gonna sleep early. need to wake up early tomorrow! good night peeps